AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

[Peedoffdoesntcutit]

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

Women are sick to death of being raped, so have gone past the point of caring about being called racist.

House! Bingo card is now full.

Nice to see you think combating rape is a game. Anything and everything to protect men over women.

This.

I think the difference is uk men on the whole 'know' its a crime but do it anyway due patriarchy and convincing themselves the woman 'wanted it' etc. People from other countries might not have the same laws and might feel it isn't illegal at all if shes on her own at night etc

Hahahaha. Pull the other one, it has bells on.

You still think it's all a joke. How strange.

You should feel as safe as you always have , why was you not concerned about all the home grown pedos . Which tend to be more from this country.

It feels like at this point of time we are where we are - these men are already in this country (regardless of views on that) -so if they do pose a risk due to cultural practices in their home countries against women and girls then someone needs to try to do something to stop potential rapes and abuse.

Are these leaflets ideal - no - but even if they help just a few men understand the UK position on this then they’ll have done their job.

And I really dislike this ‘good old days’ mentality. Don’t forget the UK only criminalised rape in marriage in 1991 and as a teenager in that decade I can remember some really grim experiences of drunk (white local) men leering and groping me at 5pm as they left our local racecourse as I walked home from town - aged 13! Or someone literally forcing their tongue down your throat in the local clubs!

We teach our teens about consent in school now and when young people start university there is a lot of emphasis put on this subject!

So thankfully we don’t live the same horrors as women and girls do in places like Afghanistan and India BUT we are on a journey too. Ask our mothers and grandmothers to truly remember the ‘good old days’ and we’ve come a long way (still plenty to go) but maybe we can bring some of the men coming into this country on a similar journey.

Forever the optimist!

OK. We've got our own bad apples. Lets bring in more.

Nobody thinks that, but stranger rape is not seen as OK in the UK if the women meet certain criteria (not on their own, v young or 60years + etc and be seen as blameless).

Well lucky you I guess. But I was going to nightclubs at that point and I don't recall a single night out where someone didn't grope or grab at me.

I even got groped by an old white English man when I was at a sleepy village pub in my jeans and hoody.

And I would never have walked home at night unless there were boys with us . And we lived in the kind of nice town that mumsnetters fall over themselves to live in.

And I can recall multiple stories of rapes and attacks at the very attractive university city I studied in. Where I was raped by a nice middle class white English boy who is now a partner in a law firm. And groped by a public school girl at a freshers ball

You must have been blissfully ignorant of the risks around you

(And if you read my posts you will see I am deeply concerned about the level of criminality making its way into our country at the moment. I just think there needs to be some nuance in the conversation)

You won’t get much from this lot I’m afraid, majority seem to be very left wing, welcoming the third world into our country whilst it literally the country is falling to its knees.

youll be called racist for having these worries.

i agree with everything you say. Back in the 90s I walked the streets freely as a teenager, never once was I in danger. I live in a northern town which has been inundated with illegal migrants, the streets are unsafe, messy and frankly frightening. The people with the views that it’s white men causing problems are in areas filled with white men (all southern middle class no doubt) you should dip your toes into what it’s really like, coming soon to a town near you.

Women aren't just being let down by men; they are now being let down by other women. I know which side I'm batting for and it's not the one that makes us doubt our own minds. They can fuck off with their labels.

I just don't understand why people are falling over themselves to ignore what is happening right in front of their eyes.

I see many more people trying to fall over themselves to make out it is only an immigration problem and i think certain groups are actually putting women at more risk by ignoring the risk from white British men in their rush to make it an immigration problem.

Some sections of community seem almost disappointed if a perpetrator has a British sounding name!

Racism is no joke. Strange how these threads seem to be full of it though, and lots of posters saying it does not matter. Well it does.

Most university student have to go to a how not to rape people lecture in freshers week these days.

School children have how not to rape people lesson at school as well.

I guess this leaflet is to ensuring arrivals get the same baseline info we give homegrown young men.

Where's the racism?

The utter ignorance on this thread is astounding. It is real. It is happening.

You really can't see the difference. Fucking hell.

Our culture is very different to India too. How do you think the health and care sector would look in the UK without any Indian doctors/nurses/care workers?

It is but they'd rather tell people they are racist, ignore per capita data and try and be the good ones, rather than face reality.

The very fact that we have to use other country's data to know the statistics, is, in itself, terrifying.