AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

[Peedoffdoesntcutit]

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

You really do have an agenda to shut down, minimise people’s concerns don’t you.
Its not up to you to tell others what they should be concerned about.

we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women.

I am sure he cares about women’s safety, you were just being a racist about it and so he shrugged.

I’m really unsure- I’ve been at work today and have come back to read the thread. Summing it up - women on here are silencing others and shutting them down by saying British born men rape , so you can’t possibly be upset that we’re getting an influx of men from cultures that actively suppress women and allow for rape , abuse towards women (this is a fact and is not disputed) because there’s already men is our country doing this. Yes - so why add more. We have standards and laws. Some are even saying the UK allows for the same treatment of women as these countries that allow for rape, no education, public whipping, FMG, and honour killings. Good lord - how have they made that link- it’s insulting to the women who have gone before us to secure us equality and safety (yes I am aware not all men follow this).

The good news is this thread has some ( I would say the majority) really sensible women who can see the problem and are not afraid to speak up. The women arguing we can’t possibly be worried as we have our own home grown problems, call you racist in a bid to shut you down. Nothing about race - all to do with cultural norms and expeditions of behaviour. I’ll gladly be labled incorrectly as a racist though to defend women. It fact I’ll happily be called that if that is what it takes to stop this. That or I’ll hand a leaflet and hope it stops them 🤣

🤣

We definitely do not have a safe culture for women and children and many many many violent and sexual assaults against women and chidren are very much carried out by white uk males

I mean at this point I think you’re just taking the piss and haven’t actually read the previous posts I’ve written 😂 I’ll resend you it though just incase for a laugh

No of course not. But it’s what our culture and standard in this country strives to achieve and we have laws to protect women against anything that falls short of this. Be it abuse against women, inequality in pay in work, and as girls and women we can have an education and drive. We all know what the expectation of behaviour towards women and girls is , in this country , even though some men still do not follow this. I’m not denying men from here do not behave like animals. Never said I did.
But countries that actively promote the treatment that women are less than equal , can be raped, beaten, whipped, children married off , no education , can’t drive a car ; are not culturally aligned with the values and laws of the United Kingdom. So being scared that men from these cultures are coming into the country on a daily basis and that they needed a leaflet to explain it to them , could absolutely be perceived quite rightly by some
women as a threat. And they , and me, have every right to see that as a threat and to feel as we do. Their cultures actively oppress women and continue to do so. That’s worry for me as a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality.

I’m not “taking the piss” I’m saying statistically you are as at risk from a British man as a non British man and it’s human nature to fear the unknown but badly the “known” is just as big a risk here

I’ll gladly be labled incorrectly as a racist though to defend women. It fact I’ll happily be called that if that is what it takes to stop this.

Racism isn’t how you stop rape. 🤦🏾

Reform and most journalists lack the statistical skills to comprehend how small samples of a few thousand can’t be directly compared to large samples of tens of millions with any confidence. The headline of x times more likely than y to rape were generated by amateurs, who failed to use generally accepted statistical methods like controls or counterfactuals or expanding the time scale of the smaller sample. You can’t take any of it seriously.

It’s the same bodge job stitch up type of lazy maths that put Lucy Letby behind bars.

Women concerned about men coming from countries that pose a threat to women = Racist …..Got ya.

So plenty of womwn deliberately ignore red flags of men they have relationships with and moving other men into their children's lives yet it is random men from overseas they are more scared of?

And for those who are not stupid enough to do that in the first place that won’t matter.They shouldn’t have to deal with any threat from others they didn’t ask for.

The OP has not been racist! Is that all you've got to throw at women pointing out the bleedin obvious?

There are stats from other European countries which I quoted upthread. But of course they don't suit your agenda. Neither does the irrefutable evidence of women being abused in many of the countries these men come from. Who do you think is abusing women in Eritrea/Afghanistan/Sudan? Enjoy keeping your head in the sand.

@Peedoffdoesntcutit

I'm really sorry this thread has attracted so many vawg apologists. Supporting men from cultures where women are subjugated is now seen as progressive it seems. Perhaps they're shouting louder because they know they've lost the argument.
You're not alone in your views.

How does letting in men from deeply misogynistic countries, help stop rape then? Does it make the situation better or worse for women?

What a racist comment. Are you actually suggesting that black and brown British women have no independent thought or agency? Do you really think that they cannot possibly have the same concerns or questions about unknown, undocumented men as white women?

There are countries that actively promote rape? That sounds unlikely Which ones? I agree that some countries suppress women. Rape is totally against the teachings of Islam just as in Christianity.

Undocumented men from countries like Afghanistan will be more likely to gravitate towards their own communities, bringing their awful attitudes to women into communities that have left it all behind and are enjoying more freedom ( mainly the women). Some of them have come here to escape persecution, yet the criminal elements they left behind are now turning up here. Are they being protected by unknown men being dumped on them? There was a little girl who drowned a couple of years ago in the Channel. Their parents were escaping their own family, who were trying to kill them for marrying outside their clan. They had had to move from country to country across Europe because the people who were trying to kill them were also able to follow them across Europe illegally. There are established Asian communities in the Midlands who are shocked that they have sectarian violence amongst Hindus and Muslims being dragged into their communities when they have been minding their own business for 40 years. It's all very well making a moral equivalence between a country that stones women to death for adultery if they are raped and a country where rape is illegal from a White leafy suburb by virtue signalling 'white men are more of a risk' (obviously they are 90% of the male population)-when it is Black and Asian women who are most at risk from these attitudes, and poor communities with limited resources who are the ones which suffer the most. We don't know who these people are. Boko Haram have just killed a load of Muslims in Nigeria for not being Islamic enough. If any of them turned up here on a boat, they would just be a ' poor oppressed misunderstood young man' to some. How do you think Moderate Muslim communities would feel having a person like that next door?

Tell that to the Taliban, I'm sure they'll thank you. Why does child marriage and therefore legal child rape, exist in so many Muslim countries? Does that not count as rape in your eyes for some reason?

The OP was worried about her safety due to migrants, so rape in marriage is irrelevant here. No need to be so combative-as I’m sure you realise, I think you would struggle to find any adults in the UK who think rape, whether within marriage or not, is acceptable.

As I understand it, rape is illegal in Aghanistan but the Taliban do not enforce the law so rape goes unpunished. But ordinary Afghans do not generally support the Taliban and the majority of them are Muslims and rape goes against Islam. So, yes, loosely speaking, it is fair to say that the Taliban encourage rape, but I’m pretty sure it is very unfair to say that Afghans in general think rape is Ok.

Labour just published a leaflet aimed at men who don’t know it.

the government has not said though that migrants are likely to rape women (Reform has said that). Maybe they simply want to be seen to be addressing concerns? Although I think it has backfired.

I saw a TikTok video today, a young lady in the England, she was being harassed by a man.

she said don’t come near me. Leave me alone. Go away. He reached his hand out, she said don’t touch me… drumrolls 🥁 he said why ? Are you my sister.

You couldn’t make it up. Is the only women he is discouraged from touching without consent is his sister. It is hopeless.

The men who claim not to support the Taliban sell their eldest daughter to feed the younger children once she hits puberty, sometimes to her uncle.

I find it crazy that millions is required to spend on baby boxes for humanitarian aid to displaced refugees, if there is ever a time to refrain from having sex this is the time. Women giving birth without properly medical staff, pain relief, there is zero respect for women.

The Taliban are brutal thugs who oppress women. Afghanistan is also a poor country. Most afghans do not support the Taliban. Before the Taliban came
back into power, the situation for women was
still bad but substantially better - for example there were female doctors.