AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

I know an adult Roxy. It isnt weird at all and really suits her. She loves it. Like many names, in the abstract ("who will she be as an adult?") It may be easy to imagine a certain situation but once an actual person is standing in front of you with that name they often suit them and it is not the odd situation many seem to imagine

I like them. I prefer Roxane ( classic cyrano de bergerac) but Roxy is really cute as are the two others. I think she may have been subconsciously thinking of the song ‘ her name was ‘lola she was a showgirl ‘? Maybe that’s why she said it? I don’t think it was a particularly nasty comment.

Well obviously we don't know your friend's friend whatsoever and as you don't either you don't know what's normal/out of character for her, but she might be a massive musical theatre/burlesque fan and think choosing "showgirl" names is absolutely fabulous and she thought she was paying you a complement.

We recently had a third child, our first two children's names start with the same letter and EVERYONE asked us if our third child's name would start with that letter as well. I think people pick up on themes/patterns in how children are named, and that could be just what your friend's friend did here. She might have thought this was an intentional theme and was making conversation about it.

Another example I've heard a lot is people who call all their children a floral/botanical name, like Fern, Willow and Iris. If your granddaughters had had those names people would likely say "oo don't then all have little floral names". Would you have been offended by that?

I’m so sorry OP, some people don’t think before they speak … I would be upset too. Those names don’t make me think of showgirls at all.

They are lovely names. I work with both a Roxy and a Ruby and have never thought anything negative about their names. I think they are nice names that go together well - similar length and pretty. As a nanny myself I can only say enjoy your adventures with them and ignore any ignorance in people.

Are they really popular stripper names? Can you cite statistics for that?

This is like the whole Karen thing...a name is used once in some perceived negative way in popular culture and it becomes a "thing" and it becomes open season on that name.

The woman was rude, but at least she didn't say it in front of the kids.

Edited to add - my grandmother was Lola, and she was a Scottish farmer. She'd have given short shrift to anyone who came out with something like that.

My father has a cousin with that name. It’s most unfortunate

It was not a malicious comment. OP, really, sometimes we need to let things go. This is one of those times.

I must be getting very old fashioned in my old age because I think it’s fucking rude to comment on people’s names like this whether adults or children.

This!

She just picked up on the theme.
It’s your friend. She wasn’t aiming to be offensive.

I agree. That was my point, but unfortunately the OP didn't understand.
Just keep your thoughts to yourself..

Is there something wrong with show girls? Why is a nasty thing to say? Showgirls make me think of beautiful energetic women having fun?

Why do you keep trying to control others OP?

The PP doesn't like those names and she's entitled to say so whether you asked or not 🤷‍♂️

You can't change this about life, all you can change is how you deal with it.

It's the whiff of adult sexuality.

Wow

There’s nothing to suggest that the comment was meant to be derogatory. Individually the names are not unusual, but as a group they do have a vibe. And like it or not, the vibe is musical showgirl.

It was just a flippant comment, but it’s obviously touched a nerve. Had you honestly not noticed?

They are definitely showgirl names but they are lovely names too.

Roxanne is a song about a prostitute so I doubt it was a compliment.

What I'm surprised at is the OP herself not realising all those names are showgirl type names when each granddaughter was born.

When my children were discussing potential names for their children and asking opinions about them I would definitely have said something if one of those names had been a contender. Of course I'd have realised it was their choice, not that they would have chosen those names anyway.

Thank you! Plus, good advice for the OP...

Why on earth would she have to say something like this ? The other woman was clearly rude

In her defence sometimes we say things, and instantly regret it, for causing unnecessary offence. I hope this was the case, if not, she’s just plain rude.

There are names given to children that I find odd or inappropriate. “Brandi”, for instance. Kind of embarrassing if she becomes a QC. BUT, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my business. Two things I know for sure. You don’t talk rubbish about people’s children and you don’t poke your nose in people’s finances.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those names, I know children with all of them. Your friend's comment was unecessary and unkind.

Maybe she was thinking of musical comedy.. phantom of the opera, west side story the lion king etc. That’s what came to my mind and I always think they must be living their dream.. singing and dancing on stage etc

Rude.

Message her and let her know you think she’s a cunt. It’ll feel good.