AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

I'm thinking that she meant theatrical or romantic. No normal person would be leaning to the pornstar direction about little children.

It was a crass remark OP. You should have asked her what she meant and watched her squirm as she tried to explain. What an arse.

It may also depend on the person's age. As soon as you mentioned showgirl name, my brain went straight to Lola, for the exact same reason as someone else posted.

“Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there..”

A musical fan would probably also have Roxy in mind too.

For what it's worth, I quite like the name Lola. Thinking it's a showgirl name doesn't mean that she didn't like it.

Aside from all of that, I'm a teacher, any name, and I mean any name, it doesn't matter what I think of the name, once you get to know a child, they all seem to suit their names. So, I might think Hugo is a bit of an 'old man' name, doesn't mean I don't think Hugo is a fantastic kid, who totally suits his own name (and he's nothing like an old man - he's a clever and kind Hugo).

I think the person you met was just making small talk without giving ig another thought, while you've spent waaaaay too much time overthinking this.

Some women can't stop themselves from being catty she's one of them

I reckon you could have said something about her name too

They weren’t her friends. They were friends of her friends.

Meh - she just said something that came to her mind, and the fact she says it means she likely doesn't see it as an insult. You're just interpreting it as an insult.

I would probably have laughed and said yeah I guess you're right my children love a bit of drama or something along those lines.

I don't think it was rude. Just an observation and your lovely friend stepped in when they saw your discomfort. My granddaughter's names sound like an old irish man and a fairy but I keep that to myself-- shame the acquaintance didn't do the same.

I wasn’t quite sure what showgirl meant - I didn’t think it was critical. I just googled it and I guess I kind of knew - it’s more a moulin rouge, Chicago musical kind of vibe. Isn’t Roxy from one of those shows? I honestly don’t think it was meant at all badly. I guess I just associate Roxy with Chicago (though don’t actually know if there is a Roxy in Chicago). So definitely a musical theatre kind of thing. No more and no less. I honestly don’t think she would have made the comment if she thought it was more burlesque (which showgirl does not mean)….

Some people don’t have a filter and say they first thing that pops into their head, some people lose their filter as they get older… who knows, but don’t take it personally - it says more about them than you.

I guess it comes down to this:

it is in the eye of the beholder. If you choose to see it as rude, then you’ll think it’s rude. If you choose to think that most people come from a good place, then you won’t see it as rude and you see the good in it.

I am not easily offended at all. Life is too short. I just let things slide. Unless they would cause on going repetitive cycles, then I would sort it.

i honestly thought showgirl was kind of complimentary!

I completely agree with you. It doesn’t matter what their names are, it’s no one else’s business and the woman was likely being rude. I feel sorry for OP,
some very judgemental people on here. Talking about ‘strippers’ like it’s the chuffing 80’s 😂

Honestly if you call your kids Lola, Roxy and Ruby then these things are going to happen. They're great names but ones that definitely do have 'showgirl' connotations - not that anybody's really talked of 'showgirls' for the last 60 years. I wouldn't have thought anything of it and wouldn't have assumed there was anything negative about the comment - in fact I would have taken it to mean that they're quite glam, confident names, but you've clearly made your mind up to treat it as a grievous insult OP so you crack on.

If I called my kids Ezekiel, Methusaleh and Bathsheba I can't moan if it gets pointed out that they are a bit...goddy.

'I would have taken it to mean that they're quite glam, confident names'

And yet most would see saying 'showgirl names' sounds sneery and unpleasant.

It's basic social skills, some people have them but sadly some do not. The only way to comment on a name is to say how nice. Not showgirls, not a bit 'goddy' like your comparison. Just 'how nice'.

And maybe that was a misquote from the friend. Many people are fans of Barry. Not me but one of my uni friends was. We might be a similar age to OP.

What is your friend’s name who made the comment?
You should’ve said, I love their names and I’ve never thought of them like that but now you mention it with a name like -insert name here- you wouldn’t get much interest as a show girl.

Presumably Lola and Roxy or something similar. I wouldn't choose a name like that myself though they are quite cut. But, YANBU - it was rude and snooty

I'm in my 50s and I like a bit of Barry! I was laughing because I had a Barry Manilow CD on a couple of weeks ago, and my husband, who's in his 60s, and has been a metalhead all his adult life, was wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt and singing along to 'Mandy' 😆

Taylor Swift brought out ‘Life of a Showgirl’ last year, which suggests some sort of renaissance of the concept.

Well, she isn’t wrong… Lola has certain connotations hence the songs. Probably rude to make the comment all the same, I wouldn’t dare comment on a person’s name unless I thought it was particularly lovely.

I don’t consider the description “showgirl names” to be a criticism or a negative. And unless your friend’s friend said it in a clearly critical / disparaging way, likely she doesn’t either. It’s NOT automatically a negative association to plenty of people.

Plenty of people would associate the names with fun, dramatic, pretty, confident - “showgirl” traits.
Not the negative “showgirls are loose women” type of thing it feels like you’re thinking of?

It’s just a style of name, and your granddaughters names are firmly in the middle of that category.

They’re lovely names, and they’re showgirl names. It’s on you if you think it’s rude to say so or a criticism of the names in some way.