AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

I love those names. My baby granddaughter is called Ruby ❤️

Ruby and Lola together made me think of the Scottish sisters who fought off a predator with an axe.

Yanbu.
It was rude to say it.
People need to know when to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Some names are idiotic, some funny, some pretentious and some rude. Maybe it was the case with your grandchildren's names. But since when did we lose our manners to such a degree as to comment on it aloud? What a rude cow that woman was. Why do you give a shit about her opinion anyway, or are you just angry you did not say to her face she was rude?

I'm with you OP: I think showgirl is not a compliment and the comment was catty, but, given how many people here seem not to see this issue, maybe she really didn't grasp the connotations.

Showgirl normally has sexual undertones, which obviously isn't what most grandmothers want their little granddaughters associated with.

I think of the songs
‘Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl’
and Roxanne by the police. I bet that’s what your friend meant, without any malice.
Thry are lovely names, but I get the showgirl link- I don’t see that as a bad thing

I personally don't like those names, but it doesn't matter, it's not my choice. I wouldn't say anything at all, because that would be rude.
My neighbour had a little boy and named him Sonny, which I think is a ridiculous name. What did I say? "Cute, and many congratulations!" It's not difficult to be a decent human being.
Ignore them. Enjoy your grandchildren!

its just the usual mumsnet contrarianism. If you’d posted “shall I tell my friend her granddaughter’s names are very showgirl” everyone would be telling you you were being VERY unreasonable.

It's bad form to comment on any name, other than a (genuine) comment on it being nice.

'Showgirl' is a very loaded term!

😂😂

This.

And the girls all being sisters makes it more of a theme.

Perhaps you’re ‘furious’ because you now know what people think when they hear the three names?

But you have just said something?
I didn’t ask if you liked the names or not, so why did you share, when you self claim you wouldn’t say anything? What is to be gained by you saying well I don’t like them but I don’t tell people I don’t like them, when you have just done so? It didn’t add to your point at all?

Lola and Ruby are very run of the mill girls names these days. But I can see with Roxy how that comment came about. Saying it out loud is something else though.

I think you're right OP.

No matter what you think of a person's GC or DC name, you keep it to yourself, unless it's positive.

I have a couple of friends whose children have bonkers names. My DC have commented to me privately how bonkers their names are but they knew better than to say it to my friends and they're children!

Especially when people have already called their children a name, being unkind about it helps no one.

At least on the baby names board your opinion can potentially change a person's mind about a bonkers name. But now, people should keep their opinions to themselves.

No I think she is furious that the woman let her thoughts belch out.

I agree with you that all three together exacerbates the showgirly effect, but it is still not polite to say that because, as @IStillHearTheWaves put it, showgirl is a loaded term.

Sometimes I think things like "Wow, your teeth are like a horse" or "I wonder if you realise how leathery this tanning is making you." But I exercise great caution not to actually say it.

Curious: what were the porn star names: Kitty-Kat? Lola? Fanny? Big Lips Bertha? Titti Anna. Come on, tell us …

They are lovely names with strong connections to literature - 'these are my lilies and this is my Lola', 'Your letters brought me here, my love' and the lovely young girl, granddaughter of the Squire! Stupid cow, that woman!

She has.

Well, read-on: Lola is one, so OP probably isn't going to feel great about your comment.

I think OP all of them are names that wouldn't occasion that reaction on their own, but the three together generates the feel a bit more.

They are all quite well-used at the moment though.

Maybe Barry Manilow holds a clue :

‘Her name was Lola - she was a showgirl at the cocococabana’

Isn't the Barry Mannilow song ' Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl? However, only you know from her tone and demeanour if she meant it to be an insult or not. It doesn't sound like a compliment.

It’s rude and maybe she didn’t mean to be but it is offensive

Let me explain:
It doesn't matter if people don't like people's baby names.
It's not their choice.
It's not difficult to be polite.
It's not difficult to rise above unpleasant or insulting connotations.
Ignore such people.
Ignore the comments.
Enjoy your grandchildren.
I do hope that's clearer 👍🏼

@Ellenay the friend is clearly a Barry Manilow fan and that’s where it’s come from….

“Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there..”

YANBU. The people that made the comments (Jean? Sarah? Louise? Bev? Emma? Susan?) aren't very nice x