AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

Definitely not meant as a compliment. And they are “showgirl” names. But how downright rude to comment. I’m sure they are lovely little girls and she could have said a million nice things on meeting them.

Id be pretty pissed if 5 small children arrived unexpectedly to crash into my Friday afternoon, no matter what their names were.

Maybe that’s just me?

But her point was supporting you. No matter what you think of a name, don’t say it to the parents / grandparents face. She agrees with you.

Kitty was the first one I thought of with showgirl too for some reason. Also makes me think of Ruby too. Nothing wrong with either name though! I don’t think showgirl is an offensive thing. If she’d said pornstar names then yes, but showgirl isn’t offensive.

I know a dog called Roxy

we have a Lola at school

friend called their daughter ruby 15yrs ago

not the worst ‘show’ names

Unfortunately they’ll get this through their lives..like it or not certain names evoke certain images

I think, given one of the names is Lola and not Christine or Annie or Maria, that probably wasn't the sort of show she was thinking of, and for that reason I think it was a bit loose-lipped.

Lola is heavily associated with both the Barry Manilow song "with a dress cut down to here" and also Nabokov's Lolita ("she was Lola in slacks").

BUT, it is a popular name nonetheless, as is Ruby (though I know fewer Roxys) and I think if the girls were called something like Eliza, Lola and Amelia, it probably wouldn't even have stirred the connection.

Ohh I forgot about Lola, I should have guessed that too. Of course people are instantly going to think showgirl there.

It was a rude and sneery comment. And inappropriate. I would have been cross too.

The Lola I know is an extremely shy and studious 16 year old why just got 9 A* at GCSE. No showgirl career for her it seems.
It’s the combination that’s showgirly than the individual names, I reckon.

I don't think it's meant to be insulting? Are you getting showgirl and stripper mixed up? My friend was a showgirl in her younger years before kids and she was a very talented, trained dancer.

Oh come on, the woman was meaning they sounded like strippers! Not nice at all

Yes, I think so too.

It’s because of roxanne- by Police (Roxy) and copacabana by manilow- her name was Lola… Showgirls. It’s definitely a generational knowledge of the songs….

I think they are lovely names and adult saying this shows their mentality. Enjoy spending time with your grandchildren and I’m sure they will love being with you

I don’t think it was rude of her to say that. Nothing wrong with show girls.

They have great names, although I was secretly hoping for Dita! (Not that Dita von Teese isn't an elegant and lovely woman)

I can't be bovvered. Personally, I'm not a fan but if your family loves 'em, I will not argue.

Roxane is also a strong woman in the classic Cyrano de Begerac . Written well before the police song. I think it’s a beautiful name and it’s a shame that the song is given it this connotation . L

Doesn’t sound like she was purposefully being rude, just maybe a bit clumsy with her words. Although, as you don’t know her, you can’t really make a judgement on whether she has form for being rude.

Showing my age here, Lola only reminds me of The Kinks song from 1970.

The Kinks, Lola, is one of the all time great songs. The first single I ever bought. Still fresh as paint, and a total classic.

I don't think that what she said was ill-intentioned.

I'm pretty sure that 'Lola' prompted her to remember the Barry Manilow song and the word 'showgirl'.

'Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl.....'.

'Roxie', she would know from 'Chicago'.

'Ruby' is from a song/songs.

I think that she was remarking that all the names seemed to have musical connections and chose perhaps the wrong word.

I wouldn't give it any more thought.

"'That was my Lo,' she said, 'and these are my lilies.'"

Though she was Lola in slacks.

Individually, most people wouldn't think twice about any of those names but, as a trio, they do give off a certain vibe so I understand why the thought came into the friend of a friend's head.

It would definitely have been better for her to have kept the thoughts to herself but at least she waited until the children were in another room before saying anything.

I don't think she meant to upset you. She might have assumed that you had noticed the same thing. When she realised that you were offended, she backtracked and tried to get out of the hole that she'd dug for herself.

btw, op, I do realise that I've implicitly criticised the names and that you get very huffy with anyone on the thread who comments on the actual names but when someone starts a Mumsnet thread, they don't get to control how others comment on it.