AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

[Ellenay]

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

I thought it was Dolores?

YANBU. It's mean and unnecessary.

Okay so, “her name was Lola, she was a showgirl” and Roxie Hart is the main character in Chicago. That’s what your friend meant. And I can’t see how that is malicious in any way.

No one said these kids don’t have value.

The dog called a Ruby is a fact. Silly to choose to be offended.

Too much sensitivity on here. One of op’s granddaughter’s names is a song about a showgirl. Lighten up and have a laugh.

I am super-light. It’s taken me years to get here. I still think the comment was offensive. So do very many others. Also, it is rude to compare dogs and children.

Oh my god, OP i can totally see where you're coming from. The woman that said it is being thoughtless at best, stuck up & insensitive, or worst case scenario, a judgemental old cow. Same response is required for all... ignore! Most on here are being bitches too, which does seem to be a bit of a theme of late. I thought mumsnet was about support 🤔

Names don't make the children but they do often pre-programme people's reaction to them. Some names shout at you, honestly. I am a retired teacher and I am not lying when I say some names mark a child as disruptive and that child is disruptive. I am not in favour of using diminutives as given names, either. If you like the diminutive then use it but give the child the actual name e.g. call her Bella but name her Isabel/Isabella so she has a grown up name when she is grown up.

I know a dog called Rolf. Should we not call boys Rolf? This is really silly and one should not compare dogs to children.

Don’t know where you read that anyone compared a dog to a child. Christ.

If there are any names that can be associated with songs, someone will always make the association. I lived with a woman called Ella at uni just after Rhianna’s ‘Umbrella’ had come out and obv everyone was just singing ‘Ella, Ella, Ella’ to her all the time. Can be annoying but people are just joking. No need to take offense all the time about little things.

I never said anything that you’ve just mentioned.

Why not read through the thread? Christ.

Lola and Roxy are literally examples of “show girl“ names (as explained above) and I would instantly think of Chicago and Barry Manilow - but I would never say it aloud as it might be taken as a criticism and hurt your feelings. Ruby was my great grandmothers name - born in 1903.

I don’t think she was inferring they were pornstar names though. And I’m sure all three girls are lovely - congratulations on your granddaughters.

I did? I stand by original stance that op is being oversensitive.

It was a bit rude of your friend but I would try to let it go.
Some people have strong opinions about names, sounds like your friend has just been thoughtless in expressing herself.
Maybe the showgirl reference is referring to the song Copacabana? it does literally start "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..".

I don't know if it was meant as a neutral observation or a bit of a dig to be honest. But I occasionally notice that siblings' names seem to be following a theme and I think it's often unintentional on the part of the parents.

I've met a pair of siblings seemingly named after cartoon bears, another pair named after mint sweets and a pair of sisters with unusual Shakespearian names (that one was possibly intentional). I did ask the grandmother of the little bears if the name theme was deliberate, but I know her very well and she wasn't offended. Apparently this theme wasn't intentional, but the parents were aware of it.

I'm going with Fifi.

To be fair to her, my first guess was Lola/Layla before I read the names (sorry) but I agree it's not a nice thing to say.

She’s not saying anything about the girls. But showgirls do choose names of a certain kind, and it sounds as though your grandchildren also have names of that kind.

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…

I mean, that’s a pretty obvious reference. Together with Roxy, and to a lesser extent Ruby, I can see why she made the connection.

I think your friends comment was totally uneccessary and spiteful. If she thought that then she should've kept it to herself. Shame you didn't say something like well you need to keep up with the times, Sharon .

They are all lovely names op. I think it’s both extremely rude and patronising when people make negative comments about a persons name, it’s part of our identity. Some people just don’t have the sense they were born with enough to keep their opinions to them selves, respectfully.

The mint one is intriguing. Murray and Imperial? Kendall and Polo?

Within those four, you've got both of them!

Come on now, get a grip. This was not an offensive remark. If this if how you act after a perfectly innocent remark. Lord help those children when someone does say something rude.
You aren't going to last long on the granny circut of you dont grow a thicker skin.

Lola was according to Barry Manilow, literal show girls. Roxy is the name of the lead character in a musical. Ruby does sound glamorous and stage-namey. So the woman was right, and I don’t see it as necessarily being an insult.