To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

Just posting in support OP as a fellow life long veggie.

It's maybe hard for some people to understand. I'm not religious but I think my vegetarianism is the closest I feel to having a deep rooted cultural identity. Some of my in-laws sometimes make assumptions about what I will or won't mind with regards to meat and I find it quite hurtful.

With regards to your specific issue, I would worry so much more about cleanliness if meat were being cooked in my kitchen. None of my household operates at a good enough level for that!

YABU to ban the adult from cooking meat in their own home - speaking as someone with a 25 year history of being a strict vegetarian.
YANBU to be annoyed that they did so without discussion, knowing your views, and not cleaning up.
Edited to say those comparing eating meat to smoking are being ridiculous.

Op how creative thinking are your DC just out of interest? If you really push this, dont be surprised if they rock up with a BBQ 😬

Agreed. It’s your family house.

It’s their home too and you sound a bit precious.
They should have cleared up though.

None of your extreme examples are on a par with this

I’d be insisting they cleaned it, and watch them do it to make sure it’s to standard, and I’d be insisting on them replacing anything that can’t be boiled, like the chopping board. They know the rules, they’ve broken them, they need a consequence.

The lack of respect is appalling.

well said.

Carnivores only eat meat. Cats are an example.
Human beings who eat meat also eat potatoes, pasta, rice, vegetables, fruit etc etc. They are Omnivores.

I don't see the problem with not wanting Meat in the home. OP is the one providing that home and this appears to be the only part missing. She is totally entitled to say No Meat at All. Lots of people don't allow shoes, smoking, drugs, etc in their home.

It's only meat that is unwelcome, not the children or friends. I'm with OP and the DCs were pushing boundaries, as all teenagers do.

Where else are they supposed to cook their food?

YRBU IMO.

I think you are being controlling here. The only thing I think they have done wrong is not clearing up after themselves.

No human being is carnivorous. All human beings are omnivorous.

You have a rule: No meat cooked or consumed in your house.

The rule has been broken.

You are upset.

Are you allowed to be? Yes. You are entitled to feel what ever comes up for you.

Will others agree that your rules or emotions are correct or proportionate? It's likely going to prompt 50/50 responses, and a dose of solutions.

What did you intend to get from posting? Validation of your feelings?

I'm not trying to be flippant.

If they smoke or vape, there is passive smoke or vape impacting you.
Drugs/alcohol/boyfriends bring a high level of risk.

Meat? Not comparable - you’re not being forced to eat it and they aren’t going to overdose on meat. You just don’t like it and want to be controlling, and forget it’s your kids’ home too.

I don’t know if you’re dumb or disingenuous, or both tbh.

You would be better asking this to a group of vegetarians, perhaps there’s a board or something on Reddit?

My inclination is that YABU but I can’t relate to you on this so don’t grasp the strength of feeling towards something that is very ordinary to me. It’s akin to me banning my daughter from brushing her hair in my house because I’ve never brushed my hair.

“OP is providing that home”

So near the bare minimum expected from a parent? Jesus.

But she is depriving them of a tasty, natural foodstuff that they, and billions of others worldwide, enjoy, in their own home, for no other reason than dogma.

Yabu. It's their home. However they should have a chopping board they can use and clean up after themselves.

This.

On a barbeque or griddle outside away from the house.

You say you respect their choice but clearly you don’t by not letting them eat it in what is their home too. They absolutely should clean up after themselves though.