To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

But there isn’t a difference (apart from the vegetarianism based on something real and the religion based on made up rules largely designed as safety guidance in a different area of the world hundreds to thousands of years ago)

Why? Why should vegetarianism be excluded from respect?

I think YANBU I’m vegan and my family meat eaters. They eat and cook meat in the house. But not eating meat is perfectly reasonable and kids living in the house should abide by rules. I’m wondering whether people saying it’s the kids house too allow their kids to do what they like!

Why should vegetarianism decide what people can do?

They do for lack of respect though.

But that teenage boy should be able to make a bacon sarnie in his own home. it’s his home until he is financially independent enough to move out. He wouldn’t be forcing his parents to eat pork.
Poor sod was probably ravenous.

Why do you think people wouldn't bring their children up trying to teach them their own morals and beliefs?

Ah so you’re saying op should also be ‘punished’ then for not respecting her kids’ dietary preferences?

Her house, her rules.

Growing up we had loads, it's normal. People are just taking issue because of the vegetarianism including yourself by your comment. Growing up I wasn't allowed in too late because I'd wake my parents. I had to wash up after dinner. I couldn't drink all the milk or eat all the bread. I had to leave my shoes by the door and not walk mud into the carpet.

Loads of little rules that my parents had me obey because it was their home. I respected and followed them. No meat being cooked in the home is just another rule to the OP.

A vegetable curry which presumably you cooked at home. I do understand your point but I can also see it from their perspective too, saying they can eat meat anywhere but at home probably pissed them off. It sounds like they were trying to make a point. An option would be buying separate pans and utensils for meat products.

Just because someone owns a house and has made a rule, doesn’t mean it isn’t a stupid rule and shouldn’t be challenged.

I am a huge meat eater but I would be very very upset. I would be marching them out to deep clean the kitchen, and telling them they owed me a new chopping board. I’d also be having a chat with each of them privately (maybe in the car where neither of you has to look at the other) and stating how upset you are, and how important this is to you.

I think it’s a bit like sex, I accept and acknowledge other people have sex (and am broadly supportive of this) but wouldn’t want it to happen in my bed….

I think you know you're just being silly now.

Well, her house, her rules and it's been the same in the house for all their lives.
What suddenly gives the children the power in this dynamic to punish their mother, seriously? Purely because you don't like the idea of vegetarians? Ok.

I have lived with a vegetarian. Elective after we married (but culturally he was a veggie) and a unilateral decision about which I was not consulted. I refused not to cook meat in my own house though I became a good vegetarian cook adept at nutrition (taught this at school when Domestic Science actually taught the science of cookery and how to cook) and balancing a diet. Very mixed menu especially as we were able to tap into South Asian cuisine as well as Mediterranean food. A vegetarian diet is fine - though I insisted on fish (for various reasons due to health) being an occasional part of the diet (oily fish, for the most part - for the nutrients in it) - and is more varied than many meat based diets. But I would not let my DH dictate that I never cooked meat in the house and since I did most of the cooking there were no separate utensils - just a dishwasher.
Made my own bread, jam etc too - white bread was preferred, and I can't stand wholemeal spaghetti, it's gritty - so lots of cookery to show DC.
Neither DC is now a vegetarian. They are both good cooks.

Ah, here we are. The crux. You don't like the rule and that's all you care about in this discussion. You've added so much, eh.

Scary!

Maybe read her post again. That's not what she stated

No, the poster who originally suggested the notion of anyone at all being ‘punished’ is silly.

He’s 8.

You haven't really allowed them to eat meat if they can't eat it in their own home. Surely the compromise is that if they want it they cook it themselves - and wash up after themselves.

Yes people are allowed not to like rules when those rules are ridiculous.

Put down the wine.

I think unless you’re a life long vegetarian people won’t understand. I am too OP, and for me meat just isn’t food. It’s probably similar to compare to eating cats and dogs. Technically you can eat them and many people in the world do, they are also probably full of nutrients, but the thought of it is repulsive and most people in the UK would not be happy with that happening in their own home. It feels graphic to explain like that, but that’s how it feels with other animals to me.

Maybe you could explain it to your children like that?

He's 14 actually