AIBU to think his solo holiday plans are selfish?

[Sam17062002]

For some background context, I have taken mine and my partners children on holiday twice. Once last year for a week and once this year for 10 nights. Both times my partner has opted out in coming due to personal extended family issues.
now my partner has decided he wants to go away in October for a week on his own to “somewhere with a sunbed where he can do nothing” am I being unreasonable in thinking this is selfish? Me and my partner have already been away for a weekend without the children and he has actually never been away with the kids.
I know I probably haven’t explained this the best but I am feeling annoyed that he thinks it’s acceptable to go away without even considering me or the kids

But you are the one tolerating this. Lots of us wouldn't. I wouldn't. Id rather be celibate for the rest of my life

Quite simple don't take his kids next time.

While he's away dump his stuff at his mum's. Sounds like they'd love to have him home.

No. Not the whole female population. Plenty of women are with men who don't behave like this.

Not all men are like this,

As women, we need to take responsibility for our choice of partner and fathers for our children. Let's not blame all men, just to make yourself feel better for your choice.

my partner has decided he wants to go away in October for a week on his own to “somewhere with a sunbed where he can do nothing”

That sounds like a dream, I’d love that myself, but alas, won’t be happening any time soon as I have children and have to use my precious annual leave on supervising and spending time with them. Which luckily I love.

Seriously, stop being annoyed and started getting angry. The absolute fucking cheek of him.

So what's your plan? Are you going too?
Will this change your relationship? That's he's ignored your views and done it anyway and left you high and dry?

If I wanted the relationship to work I'd find a way to take the children and go with him.

If I didn't want the relationship to continue I'd be telling him to pack his stuff and move to his parents until he was ready to parent his kids and be a partner.

Ball is clearly in your work now. He's made his thoughts very clear.

Let me correct myself, not all men. Just the ones I’ve unfortunately come across.
I do apologise to the decent men out there.
and it’s final, he’s going on this holiday and nothing I say will change that.
and I salute the women who have better taste in men than me. I wish I’d have made better choices that didn’t always lead me to feel betrayed and hurt

I agree.

I do not accept anything of either DP or DS that I would not want for my DD. They all know what's acceptable and what isn't. Everyone in our household is treated equally and fairly. Family first, individuals second.

You have choices now. To accept this or something better for you and your DC.

Edit to add: I'm absolute fuming on your behalf please find some energy to get angry.

@Nobghe never agreed to go on holiday with us, he declined twice and refused to pay for one monthly

@BlueMum16 I’ve only ever been in 3 relationships, I’ve never been interested in being in lots of relationships and quite enjoy being on my own, but will definitely appreciate it after the hurt I’ve felt over the last few days
thankyoh, I do need to get angry more and stop being walked on

Because he won't. She said she'd asked if they could do one just them 5 and he said no

I agree with this.
OP, give some serious thought to the relationship you are modelling to your children.
A mother doing it all and a complete loser father allowed to completely suit himself.
Absolutely shocking.

@Saladnow that is so very clearly not what I want for them, I certainly don’t want them to feel like it’s okay to put up with it and endure the hard times.

You need to model what you want them to become. If you stay in this marriage with this poor excuse of a man, your children will think this is how men are supposed to behave and how women are supposed to be treated. Do better for them.

Tell him not to bother coming back to your house and put in a claim with CMS.
End the cycle once and for all.

Same here, change the locks and bin him off. He obviously has no respect for you. If you are a single parent in all but name you might as well ditch the dead wood and become one. You would at least get some time to yourself when the kids are with him. He sounds like a selfish twat.