AIBU to think his solo holiday plans are selfish?

[Sam17062002]

For some background context, I have taken mine and my partners children on holiday twice. Once last year for a week and once this year for 10 nights. Both times my partner has opted out in coming due to personal extended family issues.
now my partner has decided he wants to go away in October for a week on his own to “somewhere with a sunbed where he can do nothing” am I being unreasonable in thinking this is selfish? Me and my partner have already been away for a weekend without the children and he has actually never been away with the kids.
I know I probably haven’t explained this the best but I am feeling annoyed that he thinks it’s acceptable to go away without even considering me or the kids

They are hers as well. Do you never look after your kids without your partner there

You want advice about a holiday and then are annoyed that people point out your relationship, the holiday isnt the issue your partner is the issue, hes leading the life of a single man and he doesnt want commitment or responsibility, hes treating you terribly and doesnt want to be around his children, change the locks, apply for child maintenance and get rid of him

@CatzaThankyou for being so kind, I do feel as though that the whole female population is tired of men whom can make the babies but fail to realise the requirements and what it takes to raise them and keep a family running, I wish I had been smarter in my choices of men, and I do agree with a lot of the comments on here but I appreciate the kindness of this message

@Waytoohothotyes I do feel see that I’ve completely opened a can of worms here and feel like most comment are what I’ve heard before, i appreciate the honesty

If you are already having to protect them and shelter them from the issues, then that suggests you are aware that he isn't a good dad and are covering for him.

As others suggest, you need to break away from him. You already do all the hard work so what does he actually contribute? He doesn't come across as a caring and loving father, maybe he is better as a partner?

You effectively are a single parent to 3 already so I would make it official.

Yes relatives of mine hubby goes with virtually adult kids and wife has mini breaks with her sister works for them. They also go away as a couple

I wonder what his reaction would be if you said you were buggering off to lie in the sun for a week on your own.

I'm so sorry that you're left with this situation, and I suspect once you're a single parent it won't improve as he won't even want to see them.

Exactly this!!

Htf did anyone reproduce which such a selfish twat?

But the answer is not to shelter them from the issues caused by your relationship, it's to remove those issues by ending the relationship. Protect yourself AND your children.

Said in the kindest possible way no one should have to shield their children from family life!! The family and home should be everyone’s safe space!

Time to cut your losses.

But he's never been a single dad so how's it relevant

Had you booked the holidays and then he bailed? Or did he say he didn’t want to book a holiday and you booked for you and the children?

They are right in the very eye of this storm

Update*
it’s been booked and paid for today by his dad.
and enabled by his mother who clearly can’t see why this is a problem

So he can’t even afford to pay for his own holiday?

Had you booked the holidays and then he bailed? Or he was never coming in the first place and you booked knowing just you and kids?

@Nobg no, I asked for us to pay for a holiday as a family for this year last year and pay it off monthly but he refused as it was too costly
apparently it’s a gift off his dad

So on the two holidays you have been on with the kids - he’s said no he won’t join and then you have booked? Or he’s said yes to joining but then bailed so you’ve gone without him?

This sounds like he is still living his single man best life ?!
and you’re doing all the childcare /mental load/ actual parenting

@Pinkflamingo10 so it seems, whilst I’m actually dealing with real responsibilities and he’s getting ready to jet off for a week to Spain kid free, what it must be like for a man hahah

Well, this man

@Nobg he’s definitely a more common type than you’d think

I’m just trying to establish whether he has never agreed to go on the holiday and you booked it knowing he wasn’t coming
or
he bailed at the last minute so you’ve gone have been forced to take the children away alone twice before

Thankfully not someone I have ever been in a relationship whether romantically or familial