AIBU to think his solo holiday plans are selfish?

[Sam17062002]

For some background context, I have taken mine and my partners children on holiday twice. Once last year for a week and once this year for 10 nights. Both times my partner has opted out in coming due to personal extended family issues.
now my partner has decided he wants to go away in October for a week on his own to “somewhere with a sunbed where he can do nothing” am I being unreasonable in thinking this is selfish? Me and my partner have already been away for a weekend without the children and he has actually never been away with the kids.
I know I probably haven’t explained this the best but I am feeling annoyed that he thinks it’s acceptable to go away without even considering me or the kids

You are a single parent, because he doesn't want to make a legal/financial commitment (he wouldn't put his name on anything when you recently moved), and he opts out of parenting whenever he feels like it (didn't go on family holidays, insisting on a week's holiday alone, moves back to his mum's when he feels like it).

He's a total arse, OP.

You need to kick him into touch once and for all.

But organise some kind of shared care going forward, at least for your two shared bio kids, and apply for CMS (I'm guessing he won't ever pay any child support voluntarily).

And don't have any more kids.

To answer your original question, yes he is being selfish and unreasonable about this holiday.

It’s difficult to see what context could justify this position OP. It’s outrageously unreasonable on any construction.

The question is what you are getting out of the relationship. He won’t commit to a shared house even, yet was prepared to reproduce two children with you. He sounds like a selfish man at best, at worst a nasty one.

why are you staying in a relationship with him?

You're not in the wrong x

Wait. What? He’s moved back to his mum’s and left you to bring up HIS kids for periods of time?

The selfish solo holiday isn’t the only thing wrong in this relationship if so.

Do you have children together, or both have children from other relationships?

Oh sorry just seen they are all biologically his. Sounds like he’s checked out of being a dad tbh.

I think you've made your point. Lay off her now please.

Book the same resort at the same time for you and the kids and just turn up?

Or more realistically book a solo holiday for yourself when he comes back, you deserve a break more than he does.

Or just dump him then he can look after his own kids, there must be better out there. I think it's a deal breaker.

Gosh some people have really hit low here, no need.

Booking the holiday at the same time is a brilliant idea!

Well done for not letting him move in without contributing financially and as a parent/partner.

You are not wrong, refusing family holiday twice is weird/disappointed. Then going on holiday with you and now alone makes him outrageous. I would end it.

Probably projecting on the OP. I agree, there's no need to be so brutal.

Well what do you call making a point and then putting the boot in on several more posts. The OP is aware she's got a twat in tow - that's why she's here asking fellow women for support. We have all bagged a dick at some point.

No they share two children and @Sam17062002 also has a DD who isn't biologically his.

This 100%

No we have not "all bagged a dick" - speak for yourself!

what you'd be reasonable stating is that most of us on here recognise a dick when we see one, and he most certainly is!

what's more to the point, is that @Sam17062002 would be well advised to discuss the shared care of their 3 children with him and state that he can stay at his mums permanently because she's withdrawing his right of entry to the rented property for which she holds the tenancy agreement (and presumably pays for it)

How old are the children and are they all biologically yours or his or both?

Not sure why I'm asking as clearly yanbu, I'm just trying to figure out why he thinks this is OK.

Hush now Bellender.

@Sam17062002 of course yanbu. Please leave this excuse for a partner/father. Your life (and your children's lives) will be so much better, I promise 💐

Apologies. You are right.

Just so I get it right, 2 youngest are his biologically and he/your parents don’t get on. Did your parents go in the 2 holidays he didn’t attend?
And ‘the shine’ has gone off your eldest, once the others came along? That’s a real issue. She’s going to know that and it will impact her long term.
His behaviour would indicate that there really isn’t a full relationship from his side,