My step daughter lied about having cancer

[mydaughterisademon]

And I really don’t understand why, she’s 20! She kept this lie up for 6 months, but only to one side of the family.

I was suspicious when I first heard about it as she had always been a liar, such as accusing people of seriously assaulting her, or the neighbour being a pervert.

None of the details she said added up, we gave her a lot of money as she was ‘too sick to work’.

The odd thing is, her mother is exactly the same, and made up having a child! Used to make up lies about my husband and have him arrested.

Initially my husband’s family didn’t believe me and were quite nasty to me. Until my husband went to his families house and called her grandmother, who she lives with and she advised she’s never had cancer.

She also claimed miscarriage and sepsis last month, on top of the the cancer.

what the hell is wrong with her? Me and my husband can’t get our head around it.

Fantasist. And dangerous. I’d steer clear.

Wow, 100% agree with PP, stay well clear of her.

She had no remorse either when confronted. We said we were calling the police as she obtained thousands out of us, on the basis she was seriously ill and couldn’t work. She just said ‘wow’ and ‘he’s my dad, he should pay’

You won’t get the money back but you can decide to never see her again. She sounds mad and dangerous. He must be devastated but as he knows her mother in nuts that’ll be where she gets it from.

The odd thing is, her mother is exactly the same, and made up having a child!

what the hell is wrong with her? Me and my husband can’t get our head around it.

It sounds like where the problem came from is very obviously. She’s been raised in a very bizarre environment and it sounds like her mother was very mentally unwell.

Being 20 would not mean she couldn't have cancer (sadly, it's more common than you think, and more and more younger people are being diagnosed).

Is there any possibility it was a maybe, and miscommunicated? As in I had gynae issues and was told it could be X, and they'd be testing the tissue for cancer-could this have been the case? Though with the rest of what she's said, I guess that is unlikely, and agree with others to keep your distance from her.

Well my husband is reporting her for fraud and has flagged it as fraud on his card as that’s how he paid of her debts she wracked up.

I’ve never been so disgusted. No remorse, and even tried to discredit me when I went to tell her family! So they didn’t believe me until the person she lives with was on the phone. That’s the level of manipulation

No possibility of it being true. It’s all been confirmed as false

Did she explain why she thought her 'dad should pay'? Does she feel financially hard done by and does she have any cause to do so? Or, if this is not the case, can she put into words why she thinks another adult should be financing her?

Is it a case of Munchasens? She liked all the attention she was getting? It made her feel important and wanted? Although to cheat her parents out of money is horrendous. She’s abused your trust, and once trust has gone, it’s difficult to get back.

I agree with others stay away from her, believe nothing. What she’s said is dangerous

I’d walk away from the whole family.

It sounds like a massive headache.

I very much doubt he will get his money back as it was up to him to do his due diligence before paying, especially when there is a history of lying...

He can either take her to court to repay the money, or a sensible option would be to write off the debt, and cut all contact with her.

People who like about cancer are despicable.

Good lord. Your poor husband realising he had been defrauded by his daughter. This should be a line in the sand and you need to keep your distance and not get involved in her fantasies. I assume she can't access any of your accounts or has a card linked to your husband's account?
I'd step back a bit and leave her to her own devices, it does sound like it's learnt behaviour from her mum. Are there other children or do you have shared children? Be careful she doesn't tap them for money.

It’s not fraud though ? He willingly paid it. She lied but not fraud as in a scammer.

Don’t you have any concern for her mental health and the reasons she might have done things?

Young adults who are well
adjusted after having had positive experiences in childhood and early adulthood don’t do things like this.

A friend of mine did something very similar when in her 20s. A lot of friendships were broken (including ours at the time) because of it.
A few years later she got back in touch after having years of therapy and was very honest about it all. She'd had a childhood with no affection or attention and then met someone in her 20s who listened to her, cared about her etc. But then when she perceived the relationship to be breaking down she started with small lies to try to get him to carry on caring for her, and those lies grew and grew.

It broke my heart a bit when i listened to her. She was completely remorseful and 20 years later, we're great friends again and i fully trust her.

I have a “ friend” like this! She used to constantly lie about having this illness or that illness. She now does it with her kids! How the kids GP, schools or social services haven’t picked up on it is beyond me. She is always falling out with people and according to her its never her fault!

This...

If it was a simple case of reporting and getting the money handed back no questions everyone's family would be doing this to gain money from the banks.

Pathological liar and potentially a clinical psychopath. Be very wary OP.

I doubt the police will action this, it will be a criminal case.

I can’t get my head round you reporting her to the police if you going to tell her family, why didn’t your husband. You clearly hate her and that’s fine. But it’s for her father to deal with

Obtaining money by deception is a crime under the Fraud Act 2006. So yes she can be prosecuted by the police

Obtaining money by lying about having a serious illness like cancer is a serious criminal offense ... obtaining money by deception ... and she should be reported to the police at this point. It's not the first time. She needs a serious wake up call and to return the money.

She's not wondering why a 20 year old might have cancer, she's wondering why a 20 year old would make up having cancer.

This is completely awful, and perhaps your stepdaughter is just a sociopath and/or shares whatever personality disorder her mother has which caused her mother to tell incredible lies also. But I do wonder whether there is some kind of back story to this especially noting @Melsy88's story about her friend. Did your stepdaughter suffer at the hands of her mother? What happened to her growing up? Has she somehow learnt that this is the only way she will get attention?