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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK?

707 replies

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:26

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK
UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
5MinuteArgument · Yesterday 20:53

MaturingCheeseball · Yesterday 18:29

Dsis was doing supply teaching in a school in E Sussex. Her class contained 15/16-year-old asylum seekers who were clearly way older than that. They were leering at their fellow pupils and even at dd. She caught one making a suggestive sign at her. So she reported to her line manager - silence. So she went to safeguarding lead, who said they appreciated the situation but had been told not to say anything. Dsis was fuming but realised she was banging her head against a brick wall.

Yes, the people running these institutions would do anything to preserve their ideology and protect asylum seekers / refugees. Anyone harmed by this is just collateral damage.

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 20:54

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 06:50

Civil unrest is a ticking time bomb away.

Not soon enough. Whenever there is unrest those involved are heavily punished, branded far right racism groups, it’s designed to keep the majority silent. No one wants to be thought of as a toothless underclass educated person. As long as the division is kept in speed, people won’t fight back against the government.
There was a really deep moment in Dublin the weekend when Catholic religious leaders walked the streets, said a prayer for the people of Ireland at the gates of the Government House, praying for them to hear the people in Ireland and stop dismissing them as far right. There is definitely a slow awakening.

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 20:56

NancyThompson · Yesterday 20:45

Not the only case in Bournemouth either - a poor teenage girl was raped right in the sea surrounded by people:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-68579338

I could cry. It’s every day.

notnorman · Yesterday 20:56

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/08/2026 21:16

Well obviously, this reflects the demographic make up of the UK. Why is that a reason to allow men in from potentially incompatible misogynistic cultures when it comes to women/homosexuality? We have our own home grown arseholes that we can’t do much about, why let in more?

I also work in criminal justice (nearly 20 years, 5 years spent in sexual offending) and the amount of offending by foreign nationals is going through the roof and putting an unbelievable strain on services where I am. Nationals from Sudan, Eritrea to name a couple. HTH.

This needed repeating.

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:01

notnorman · Yesterday 20:56

This needed repeating.

There's a reason they're trying to keep a lid on it. What we know is scary, imagine what we don't know because we're not being told. And we're paying for it too.

OP posts:
bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:02

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 20:56

I could cry. It’s every day.

3 rapes on Brighton beach last 2 weeks. One at 6:30 am going for a run.

OP posts:
5MinuteArgument · Yesterday 21:03

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 17:56

If anyone has read this article yet, it's an interesting read.

'Germany is acknowledging the unspeakable
A pattern of criminality is shattering taboos
Andrew Hammel

In spring 2024, Herbert Reul, Interior Minister of Germany’s most populous state(22 million inhabitants), Northern Rhine-Westphalia, said something remarkable: “We have a problem with non-German criminals.” What’s remarkable is not what Reul said but the fact that a centre-right politician from the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) party said it. Nancy Faeser, Germany’s Interior Minister from the centre-left Social Democratic Party (SPD) — which courts voters of non-German ancestry — also said something which would have been branded far-right provocation just a few years ago: “We have to talk about the rise in crime by foreigners”.

What has moved the Overton Window is a stream of grim crime statistics
These statements may sound benign, but they shatter taboos. German politicos and journalists have long suppressed discussions of why certain groups of foreigners are overrepresented in crime statistics; Section 12 of the official German press code even forbids identifying the ethnic ancestry of criminals to combat “discrimination”. Any references to “crime by foreigners” (Ausländerkriminalität) as a distinct problem were met with charges of xenophobia and racism. What has moved the Overton Window is a stream of grim crime statistics published by government agencies or, just as frequently, leaked to journalists.

In 2023, according to official statistics, Germany registered 5.5 per cent more crimes than in the previous year. The number of suspects rose 7.3 per cent. 41 per cent were foreigners, an increase of 17.8 per cent. Asylum seekers(a category which excludes Ukrainian refugees)made up 18 per cent of the offenders, an increase of 18 per cent from 2022.
There were 214,000 violent crimes, a 15-year high and an increase of 8.6 per cent. Robberies were up 17.4 per cent, knife crimes 9.7 per cent. Homicides were up 2.1 per cent, sex crimes 2.4 per cent. Crimes involving knives nearly tripled between 2020 (10,121 incidents) and 2023 (26,230). An internal analysis leaked to the Welt newspaper showed that knife crimes in Northern Rhine-Westphalia shot up 45 per cent over a recent 12-month interval. Other statistics from that state: in 2023, 80.1 per cent of pickpockets were foreigners, as were 47.6 per cent of shoplifters, 47.3 per cent of burglars, 41.6 per cent of homicide suspects, and 37.1 per cent of suspects in violent sex crimes.

The Germany-wide statistics on sexual violence were also sobering. An internal study by the German federal law enforcement agency, leaked to a Zurich newspaper, revealed that asylum-seekers have committed some 7,000 sexual assaults (ranging from groping to gang-rape ) between 2015 and 2023. Although they make up only 2.5 per cent of the population, asylum-seekers made up 13.1 per cent of all sexual-assault suspects in 2021.

In 2023, there were 761 gang-rapes registered in Germany — almost two per day; 47.5 per cent of the suspects were foreigners. The frequency of such crimes — which were rare in Germany as late as the 1990s — has hovered between 600 and 800 per year for the past 7 years. The statistics go on for page after mind-numbing (or mind-boggling) page. Berlin’s police chief delivered the upshot: “Bluntly stated, our numbers show that violence in Berlin is young, male, and has a non-German background.” What is straining German law enforcement (and society) is the sheer number of young male asylum-seekers. Germany famously relaxed its border controls in 2015-2016, permitting an influx of some 1.3 million people from countries such as Syria, Afghanistan, Iran, and Turkey.

Then as now, about 70 per cent of asylum-seekers were male and most are under 35 years old.Current numbers are off this peak but still high: in 2023, 351,000 asylum-seekers entered Germany, more than the population of Germany’s former capital Bonn. Most of these men have no German skills, little education (a 2016 study revealed only 34 per cent could read the Latin alphabet), no experience with alcohol, and no experience interacting with women not related to them.

They are no longer constrained by their families, and many live jammed into crowded refugee shelters. They can, however, travel freely, and watch pornography on their phones. They soon discover they can buy a bottle of grain liquor (Korn) from any corner shop for €5. With €400 in cash benefits each month, they can afford to indulge. You didn’t have to be an “Islamophobe” or “xenophobe” to see trouble on the horizon. Until recently, however, that’s what you were called if you predicted problems. In the late 2010s, the mainstream German media and political landscape united as one to endorse Chancellor Angela Merkel’s oath that “we can handle” the huge migrant influx (Wir schaffen das). A typical 2016 article in Deutsche Welle entitled “Immigration Reduces Crime” promised to explode the “myths” exploited by “populist rabble-rousers”. Now those “rabble-rousers” include leading politicians.

German immigration policies have been far to the left of majority sentiment for years

The populist-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) party was the only party which opposed Merkel’s open-door policy, which had the effect of tripling its support in mere months. It has now become the second-largest party in Germany as the centre-left fades. On immigration at least, the AfD’s arguments fall on fertile soil: German immigration policies have been far to the left of majority sentiment for years. A 2017 survey by Chatham House, for instance, found 53 per cent of Germans wanted to stop all immigration from Muslim countries. Polls conducted before the recent European elections — in which Germany’s ruling “traffic light” (red-green-yellow) coalition was hammered — showed that Germans’ top concern (74 per cent) was that “crime will increase significantly” (a 22 per cent increase from 2019). 61 per cent feared “Islam will become too strong in Germany” (a 14 per cent increase). In 2017, a poll found 23 per cent of Germans felt “unsafe” in public spaces.

By 2024, the figure had nearly doubled to 40 per cent, with 43 per cent of women agreeing. Legendary German midfielder Toni Kroos, a Real Madrid star for the last 10 years, said he lets his teenage daughter roam free in Spain, but would now have doubts about letting her stay out late in a large German city because Germany is “not the same place it was 10 years ago.” In worldwide comparisons, Germany is, of course, still a very safe country, and it has so far forestalled the emergence of dangerous “no-go” areas. Yet crime statistics,along with an ongoing series of spectacular crimes committed by migrants, keep the issue front and centre. Meanwhile, political paralysis and bureaucratic inertia keep current policy frozen in place: In 2023, Germany granted 200,100 people(including 75,000 Syrians) citizenship.

Most Germans are frustrated by this chasm between what they want and what their government is willing to do. However, they can only lodge a protest vote for the AfD or a splinter party. The German Constitution essentially bans referendums and even no-confidence votes, and centre-right parties insist they will not collaborate with the AfD(for now). Germans will thus have to wait until September 2025 for national elections, which will likely install a centrist coalition which will be unable or unwilling to adopt major reforms. Meanwhile, alarming crime numbers will keep being published –or leaked. A deep desire for stability is encoded in the DNA of post-war Germany, but the next few years will see it tested to its limit.'

Yes, Germans are understandably angry at what's happening and the surge in support for the anti-immigration AFD is the result.

Meanwhile the government in Britain refuses to publish crime broken down by nationally because they fear that the British people would also be furious about what's happening to our country.

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:05

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:02

3 rapes on Brighton beach last 2 weeks. One at 6:30 am going for a run.

What a marvellous time to be alive.

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:06

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:02

3 rapes on Brighton beach last 2 weeks. One at 6:30 am going for a run.

It won’t change if we keep getting the replies seen on here. I agree it’s awful.

Somerford · Yesterday 21:07

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 20:56

I could cry. It’s every day.

Literally every day, a new horrific news story to wake up to each morning. And I know of one in my area that didn't make the news so I expect lots more are happening that we never hear about.

NancyThompson · Yesterday 21:09

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:02

3 rapes on Brighton beach last 2 weeks. One at 6:30 am going for a run.

And that doesn't include the gang rape, does it? That one was a bit before.

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:10

5MinuteArgument · Yesterday 20:53

Yes, the people running these institutions would do anything to preserve their ideology and protect asylum seekers / refugees. Anyone harmed by this is just collateral damage.

This is the awful part. If women could only accept it and be quiet. No way, not for us or anyone with DDs.

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:11

NancyThompson · Yesterday 21:09

And that doesn't include the gang rape, does it? That one was a bit before.

Exactly. That ones been to court, poor woman. Poor women. Poor girls. WTF. These 3 literally last couple of weeks. All different times, different rapists.

OP posts:
LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:12

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:10

This is the awful part. If women could only accept it and be quiet. No way, not for us or anyone with DDs.

Are we still shutting up for the sake of diversity? There's been a big difference on here in the last few weeks on that attitude.

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:15

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:12

Are we still shutting up for the sake of diversity? There's been a big difference on here in the last few weeks on that attitude.

Idk there’s still some of the usual accusations but it’s somewhat better.

The majority vote is with the op which is good. Now to actually change things.

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:18

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:15

Idk there’s still some of the usual accusations but it’s somewhat better.

The majority vote is with the op which is good. Now to actually change things.

Interesting new thread just come up on AIBU. Just about sums up the situation. It seems to a topic that people enjoy playing with, even though it's serious about stopping the boats. Will let others find the thread as I will get an MN bollocking.

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:20

EasternStandard · Yesterday 21:15

Idk there’s still some of the usual accusations but it’s somewhat better.

The majority vote is with the op which is good. Now to actually change things.

89% YANBU atm. Even a few months ago it wouldn't have been that high. Its good people are more aware and angry now. It is getting worse by the day, at first anyone raising the issue was accused of being racist or far right. No more because people know the truth and more of us are singing from the same - objective - hymn sheet.

OP posts:
Somerford · Yesterday 21:20

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:12

Are we still shutting up for the sake of diversity? There's been a big difference on here in the last few weeks on that attitude.

Sometimes you get a good sense of how a lot of people feel from the number of reactions to certain posts, there are things people want to say out loud but don't want to deal with the pile-on that usually follows.

I mentioned reversing the Boris Wave earlier and got lots of reactions. People know what the Boris Wave is and they can look around their towns at the damage its done, and they want it to be undone.

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:22

bobbyydazzler · Yesterday 21:20

89% YANBU atm. Even a few months ago it wouldn't have been that high. Its good people are more aware and angry now. It is getting worse by the day, at first anyone raising the issue was accused of being racist or far right. No more because people know the truth and more of us are singing from the same - objective - hymn sheet.

Reminds me of the TWAW gender woo wang we had to endure so so fcking long, eventually the truth was clear. Australia are on that journey now.

OP posts:
LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:23

Ever get the feeling that you just know who you are taking to is not another woman?

5MinuteArgument · Yesterday 21:24

hedgeknight · Yesterday 18:14

Deport where?

Germany is now deporting failed Afghan asylum seekers back to Afghanistan. We should be doing the same.

BubbleAndLeek · Yesterday 21:25

Why do a large section of MN say that because we have our own British rapists we should allow dangerous men in from nations where things are for women are worse? I literally do not understand.

AndyKitten · Yesterday 21:28

BubbleAndLeek · Yesterday 21:25

Why do a large section of MN say that because we have our own British rapists we should allow dangerous men in from nations where things are for women are worse? I literally do not understand.

It makes no sense an all, but some posters place ideology over common sense.