To ask when we lost sense of basic social etiquette?

[iveseenthefilms]

I got the train after work today and realised people just have no manners at all. Barging on the train before people had got off, not pausing to allow people out of their seats when getting off, being noisy and disruptive, just generally being unpleasant.

AIBU to ask what is wrong with people and when did we become like this? It’s sad!

In today’s episode of “that never happened……”

I used to think it was about 50/50 nice/morons but now its more like 30/70, 70 being morons. We've got a crap and entitled culture now.

Thanks for your thoughtful contribution. This type of low effort comment is exactly what I'm referring to with regards to needless animosity towards others and inability to discuss opinions and differences in opinions with tact and decorum.

As I said, it's interesting.

I personally think it's because the bus driver is never far away, but on a train there's not an obvious authority nearby

I think most people are very indifferent to others. I'll admit I am guilty of feeling very indifferent sometimes but I do try to make myself behave in public and set a good example to my children even when I'm not feeling it.

It’s the loud and annoying music from TikTok/YouTube videos, which drives me nuts.

In my experience, it’s usually from younger children and their parents don’t seem to provide headphones. I’ve yet to see a parent telling their child to turn the volume down on their phone/iPad.

I wonder if parents become immune to the noise!

It changed when bus drivers and train conductors lost the knowledge that the police would come if they call them.

That meant they stopped challenging the one or two problem people. That meant another one or two, who would have been annoying rather than an outright problem due to being wary of the guard calling the police, also became a problem.

Then people who would normally be well mannered started to think “what’s the point” so they then became annoying with bags/music/no headphones.

Then covid lockdowns meant people generally stopped socialising with other members of the public for a while so all the behaviours people do around family and friends, but wouldn’t dream of doing in public, became their norm.

Then all of those things collided post lockdown and travelling anywhere by train or bus is now a lottery of just how shit it will be.

@iveseenthefilmsand yet here you are casually dropping the c bomb. My teens would never dream of doing that!

Good points. And it being made sexual harassment to show you are attracted to someone in public! Wolf whistling etc, I used to love getting attention from the men in high vis's 😁 I bet if you try to talk to someone of the opposite sex these days in a flirty manner you will get branded a sex pest! Oh and every man that interacts with children is instantly a pedophile!

I commute by train and it really bugs me that people don't stand aside to let you off any more!

I grew up in a SE commuter town and commuted to school by train. There absolutely was 100% compliance in standing aside and no-one would have dared make a noise on the early morning commuter trains.

I did ask a guy playing loud videos about homicides at 7am to turn it down a few weeks back and he did. But I don't know what possessed him to play it out loud in the first place. WHAT A WEIRDO.

I used to commute on the train daily 10 years and it was like this!

I don't see this on the trains I go on. Yes there are some that play music without headphones but I don't see any other bad behaviour. Maybe it is a city thing.

Gentle parenting = teenagers being cunts

I think that the problem is we remember negative experiences more than the positive ones! I recall saying 'Excuse me please' to a group of girls blocking the corridor of the school I was working at over 20 years ago and one responded 'Why wotyur dun?, my response really annoyed them 'Been brought up with some manners'.

I think and agree with those who suggested 2020 and 2021 was a turning point. The bad example set in Downing Street did not help.

I'd imagine I'd be searching MN for a very long time to find enough men saying they were too frightened to be polite because women had yelled at them for opening doors to notice a pattern.

It honestly couldn’t bother me if someone says thank you or not for that kind of thing. In fact I think it’s ruder to tell off a perfect stranger for not thanking you when you don’t know what’s going on in their head or life which means they might be distracted. I’ve definitely been told off before when I’ve had some personal shit going on and just not noticed that someone stepped aside for me.

I was also recently yelled at twice in one day by drivers for me not thanking them when they gave me room to pass, when in fact I HAD waved thanks at them, they obviously hadn’t been paying attention at the right time. Massively pissed me off.

I grew up in a SE commuter town and commuted to school by train. There absolutely was 100% compliance in standing aside

Yes, I used to commute into London from a SE suburb in the 70s and 80s and there were conventions that everyone observed.

I once rang our local school and as it was after hours the phone was answered by the Head, I told him we had been on the 3.30 bus into the city and before I could say anymore he said Oh God, what have they done now?! He was stunned when I said how well behaved they'd been, lots of chattering but nothing terrible. He was touched that someone had phoned up to say something positive, no-one usually bothers. I asked him to let them know, just as he would have given them a bollocking for a critical call!

No, I never did anything like that.

It's interesting to read this - I'm just back from the far NE of Scotland, and took a bus for a 1.5 hr journey. Pretty full. At some point I thought 'This is nice - everyone is SO quiet and civilised. Why isn't it like this near me (in the SW)'? Maybe it helps if you're in a less densely populated area? And/or a cooler one??

I have never been intimidated by teenagers and more often find them to have much better manners than a lot of adults .
But i agree there is a definite decline in general manners, i cannot tolerate it and so often 'kill with kindness' which sometimes has the effect of forcing the person to use what few manners they have !

People are getting so much worse on the tube, rushing on and blocking everyone from getting off. I have started barging into them a bit with my elbows to make a point! Pre-Covid when I used to go into Central London 5 days a week, it was never this bad. There used to be some etiquette on the station platform when waiting for trains too where people would come and stand next to or behind you, now people will pitch up 1 minute before the train arrives and just plonk themselves directly in front of you. Also, in lifts people stand directly in front of the doors while waiting and then block you from getting out so you’re all just stuck there looking at each other. Drives me mad! In my experience it is people of all ages doing this too.

I knew people would say it got worse after Covid. I totally disagree. Basic manners and considerate behaviour have deteriorated steadily over the past 20/30 years. It’s caused by increasingly liberal parents who tell their children the sun shines out of their backsides and encourage them to always put their own happiness first. It’s the Millennial generation onwards who have no bloody manners and a nauseating sense of entitlement.

Yeah I'm sat on a train as we speak and the guy in front of me is effing and blinding! Believe me, I'm not a prude and often eff myself but never in a public place....it's just so offensive....I really don't want to hear it :(