AIBU to think some school policies are at least partially responsible for the rise in pupil unhappiness?

[Alittlebitofmin]

A friend’s kid described school like a prison. He is likely to be a school success story set to get really good grades, but sees school as something to mainly tolerate. AIBU to think the school system itself is at least a significant partial reason why teenagers report lower levels of happiness at schools in England? Schools seem increasingly punitive and restrictive, pressure seems high, some children are even made to feel guilty if they have a day off sick.

My children are markedly more unhappy than I was at school. My brother did have a diagnosis of dyslexia, not that it helped him at all, but I was bullied to high heaven. It was horrific, I had my hair set on fire, I was pushed down stairs, I had glass bottles broken on the back of my legs. No wonder I Developed an acerbic personality and anxiety and depression.
Yet my children seem to be traumatised, especially my youngest who has a medical issue (inflamed duodenum) which is caused by school anxiety. He is 8, he should enjoy school. I didn’t like being bullied by my peers, but I knew I was safe in the classroom. He fears his teachers as much as I feared the girls who bullied me, which is so wrong. No child should ever fear a teacher bullying them. But it happens.

Become influencers and sell dodgy supplements on Instagram 😂 😂 😂

I think the boundaries between school and home have been blurred, which stokes resentment from parents and the kids.

I attended a relatively strict state school in the noughties, and we were given letters to take home. The occasional letter was sent in the post directly to our parents. But now, parents receive text messages and emails well into the evening which they are expected to reply to.

Detentions for relatively minor uniform infringements are the standard, and not always feasible if parents work, or kids have to get the bus home. There’s no need for an afterschool detention because you once wore black socks instead of grey, which would not be seen unless you lifted your trouser legs up. Meanwhile you’ve got kids bullying everyone and being disruptive little horrors and nothing is done about it.

The most incredible rule I find which has come into play in recent years is the “your hair is too short” directed at the boys with a short back and sides. As if a standard military hair cut is not acceptable in a school! I remember a lad at my school had patches of alopecia and always had a shaved head. I often wonder whether he would have to walk around looking like a block of Swiss cheese if he were at school today.

I used to live with a man who worked in a school. Every member of his family was a teacher and to be frank, he was a ridiculous person. He would frown upon any of the kids who had any sense of agency and none of the rules were ever to be questioned.

If children find a normal school life more traumatising than how it was back in the day, then it’s a matter of resilience.

Parents knew that school was shit and managed expectations accordingly but even though objectively things are better, provisions are made for ND kids and there are far more restrictions against teachers, people claim their kids are more unhappy than ever.

Expecting the children to be happy as well is just not feasible.

My old state school now has special astroturf and you can only step onto it if you are wearing a special pair of trainers.

Rotations in lessons might mean you only spend six hour long lessons on the turf in a school year, but every student MUST buy a pair of these trainers. Needless to say, they are not cheap. And some kids might literally wear these for less than 5 hours before they grow out of them.

Things like this do nothing but breed resentment.

But then we feared the teachers too as they were physically aggressive sometimes and certainly shouted and screamed at us

I understand this, expecially when other departments are crying out for money for eveyday materials and supplies.

But 4G pitches are the sort of crap that the governemnt gives out funding for.

Agreed. We have a 4G pitch (I don't know what that means... I just know we have it) which was funded for us. There's no way we could have afforded it.

Our students don't actually use it but we make money from renting it out after school/weekends/holidays.

Are they only allowed to wear the trainers when using the astroturf? Couldn't the same trainers be worn for normal PE?

They can only be worn on the special pitch. Another pair of trainers are needed for the sports hall, grass and concrete.

If all parents fulfilled their responsibilities properly schools would be much better places. Right now teachers have to teach, be social workers, etiquette and hygiene instructors, counsellors, food bank officers, probation officers, mentors, parents and everything in between. They can't just teach. If kids have no boundaries or proper guidance at home on how to be a constructive member of society, then schools will have to be more restrictive to account for this. Many parents are failing in their duty to raise considerate children.

I agree that parents are the problem. They aren't raising their children to be attentive and respectful.

They never did that to me at all. As far as I can remember no one was scared of teachers at all. But even if they were, surely not scared of teachers teasing them, mocking them, making them the butt of every single joke. Not to the point where the teacher tells other teachers in front of the class “Adam is doing X, Y, Z, isn’t that girly/stupid/silly” and actively ADDING to the bullying.
Surely that’s not how it used to be?