AIBU to think some school policies are at least partially responsible for the rise in pupil unhappiness?

[Alittlebitofmin]

A friend’s kid described school like a prison. He is likely to be a school success story set to get really good grades, but sees school as something to mainly tolerate. AIBU to think the school system itself is at least a significant partial reason why teenagers report lower levels of happiness at schools in England? Schools seem increasingly punitive and restrictive, pressure seems high, some children are even made to feel guilty if they have a day off sick.

I guess it depends on the cohort. If you work in an area with a gang culture, ANYTHING that can be used to show gang affiliation should be banned for safeguarding reasons.

I don't. But I imagine our rule about agricultural vehicles in the car park might not apply in central London either.

I don't think I've ever worked anywhere in the past or recently that had a rule for these. There is a policy for fidget toys though quite often - they are often misused and cause havoc far from their original purpose. Rules about equipment too - from the outside a detention for not having a pen seems petty . why not just give them a pen - Yes I often did for the sake of smooth classroom management but I would pay for pens out my own pocket especially in deprived area and more often than not i would be giving out tens of pens a week - never returned , often dismantled , crushed under foot or deliberately destroyed to avoid doing work.

But miss, I need my stuffed toy tiger.

Ffs

Yep. We've had to stipulate which fidget toys are acceptable, because the clicking/flicking/ tapping/ playing catch/ lending them to a mate becomes highly disruptive. Cue:"but I'm allowed a fidget."

The ones that look like breast implants are bloody awful too.

Because some little sod stabs them with the scissors I've handed out and now there's slimy shit everywhere and the kid who "needs" the thing is having a paddy and his mum knows about it immediately even though phones are banned and now I'm cleaning up sticky slimy shit and fending off both sets of parents.

FFS.

I don’t consider work to be like prison either, but it is more like prison than school is.
You need to keep disciplined and professional even when confronted by behaviour you don’t like etc. You need to do as requested by your manager without moaning or making a fuss, even if you don’t agree with them. Etc etc.

I have no problem in things being banned if they cause a problem. No one on this thread has told me what problem the charms are causing.

Have you missed my points about stuff being stolen?

In a school where they're considered valuable, they're a problem.

Ok. So as long as laces are tied - otherwise a trip hazard - you agree they don't have to be tied a specific way.

I agree. There is a genuine reason for requiring them to be tied. No problem.

Ok. I can see that as a valid reason. Why not say so half an hour ago?

They get stolen. Or they get lost, leading to accusations of theft. That's disruptive.

Because I thought it was obvious. Apparently not.
Like I said, we've not banned them because they're not considered valuable in my school. But if they were an issue, they'd be banned.

Nothing in your posts suggests you have bothered to actually ask the school. You aren't 'questioning' the rules, you have just decided that they are arbitrary because you can't see why they are there.
Try asking. You might find out. In the meantime, your daughters could spend two minutes lacing their shoes correctly and leave their charms at home without any detriment to their lives or learning.

I did say that more than half an hour ago. You dismissed it by saying they weren't valuable.

But it isn't obvious. It isn't a situation I (or DD) have come across. So rather than launch into an attack, give a one sentence explanation. Because I am in general on the side of teachers (my parents were teachers, I had fantastic teachers at my state comp).

But we live in a society where 'zero tolerance ' is promoted as the way forward for state schools. Neither Dd nor I would have coped because we are anxious people pleasers. Thankfully we both went to state comps that had the ethos of recognising when pupils were doing their best. So we were both able to do our best without worrying about arbitrary rules.

My daughters are now at college and uni. No weird uniform requirements. Both acing their courses.

I gave you that very one sentence explanation right at the beginning of this exchange. You dismissed it.

These weren't rules at my daughters' schools. These are requirements from this thread

Please quote

My apologies if I missed it among the attacks on my attitude

Where have I "launched into an attack"?

You appear to be assuming that teachers make up arbitrary rules rather than considering that there is a reason for every rule.

Rather like the label on McDonald's coffee warning that it is hot existing because someone got badly burned, we have a no tractors rule because when the kids decided it would be fun to come on them to school, there were issues with parking, buses and other road users. We didn't just make it up to piss off Bob.

Oh come on, referring to schools as toxic is completely incendiary. Schools are places of learning and an apparent who fusses about uniform under detentions over their child’s education is undermining the system that is in place to help their child. Anyone who has worked in a school on a non-uniform day will know exactly why schools have to have high standards of dress. There’s so much ignorance around this topic and parents just seem happy to listen to everything their kids say.

"AIBU to think some school policies are at least partially responsible for the rise in pupil unhappiness?" is the original op " aibu . I'd argue no . It's poverty & underfunding and a lot of societal issues being mirrored back. Like I said 25 years ago I could ask students to clean desks at lunchtime as a sanction as appropriate for graffiti and they ended up enjoying it. We end up chatting, relationships were built . Nowadays I'd be slandered on the local FB as power mad control freak , named and vilified with no right of reply. There is a strong undercurrent of debate attacking education, schools and teachers through the media and on twitter/ X. Every September the sad face news articles appear about shoes , uniform and teachers on a power trip. Now its year round in the right wing press. There's an agenda from some quarters to keep the debate on challenging rules & teacher for sure

No problem, just say why.

I still can't see why lacing up shoes one way or another matters. Unless, as been suggested, it is a gang marker. In which case it's valid. But the way it was presented and defended it was just a rule and pupils should follow it without any particular reason, just because it was a rule.

Where did i say schools are 'toxic'?

Please quote, because i don't remember saying this? May be wrong of course

@Baital you still haven't identified where I "launched an attack".

Which reminds me of the time I was asked to sit in a meeting about a colleague who had "screamed at" a child in her class. There had been no screaming - I know that because I was there. But there was a lot of hyperbole from the child and her parents about the teacher telling her to sit back down rather than wander round the science lab.