cant afford to give ds what he wants for his birthday

[dinosaursroars]

Ds is 17 on friday and all he has asked me for is money because he wants to save for a moped and he knows it will take a while he currently doesnt have anything so the money i give would be a starting point

His dad hasnt seen him in over a year and is unlikely to get anything from him last year he didn’t even have a happy birthday message or asked about his gcses (was the same day) and hes still not texted him in over a year and ds doesnt bother msging him but i know it upsets him

we dont see his family either and i have none so hes only getting something from me like always

i dont know how much money to give him i csnt afford it tbh with back to school and i dont think just £50 and nothing else is good enough and i want to give him more but i cant afford more with back to school and uniforms and food but then i feel guilty

how much is okay to five him?

You give him what you can afford and he can get a weekend job to save up for his moped.

You can only give him as much as you an afford. Could you possibly give him £50 but then buy some little inexpensive things for him to open on the day?

£50 is a very decent start. You can't give more than you are sensibly able to. You can still make a big fuss of him, do him a cake etc. Don't beat yourself up

Decided how much you’d like to give him in total. Hand him the £50 to start him off, and tell him the remaining amount will be split over the next few months. So he knows it’s coming and he can get a job to save the rest. You could do the same for Christmas.

Exactly you give what you can afford… I’m sure he’s not actually expecting a moped..

Give what you can afford. You could also say, if you can afford it, you’ll give him £5 week to go towards his savings.

Yeah no , why havent you been putting money aside each month ready for his birthday?

Give him what you can afford. Bake him a cake and tell him you'd love to give him more but you just don't have more money to give. I hope his useless father is paying child support. If not go to CMS. Try to help him to get a part time job to save for a moped.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have loads of spare cash 🙄🙄🙄….have you not read about the current cost of living crisis?

Lots of families are finding life very hard at the moment. There’s lots in the news about it. 😊

Don't you have a usual budget for his birthday that you've saved? I would give him whatever you usually spend on a gift. If that's £50 then that's fine! I just wouldn't give him less than usual because it's cash.

You couldn't just scroll on by could you? You had to say something vicious and nasty.

OP, I think £50 is fine. I also think @Pigginbeautiful has a good idea.

Yeah most 17 yos would like a moped and almost none have one. Just give what you can afford.

Interesting 🤔

Because she's busy paying the bills.

no one on mumsnet has bought my son a blazer and i havent asked anyone to ive bought one myself

and ive mentioned in none of my posts how much money i have left.

Use food banks for a few weeks and use the money saved on groceries to give him a bit more bday money

Assume this a a joke. Please don’t do this. If he wants a bike he gets a job and saves for it. He will appreciate it all the more

Op I think you need to sit him down for a conversation on budget, & safetly its not just the cost of moped, it the other stuff that goes with it, driving licence, helmet gear, theory test, lessons actual test, insurance, MOT, fuel and servicing.

Is a moped a realistic goal?

Please don't tell me what you really mean is an illegal electric scooter?

Hmm 🧐

Just give what you can afford. I don't get this whole tons of money thing for birthdays, at 17 I wanted to learn to drive. I had to pay for it myself from working part time at McDonald's my parents didn't just go here's the money. Kids these days have really big expectations.

Hmm, is this what people do? I sometimes wonder if that’s the case, but have never heard anyone actually condoning it……

Its crossed my mind too that they'll people be use food banks to enable money to be spent elsewhere.

Do you work? Can you ask for extra hours, and you could tell him that you’ll give him half now and half later, to help him save.

But… is his idea realistic? How can he afford insurance and everything?