To say if you have something to ask me don’t demand a phone call?

[ScullyD]

I’m wondering if this is a generational thing. Im a millennial, my dad’s in his 60s.

Today I submitted my thesis, I’m a mature student in early 30s. I’ve spent most of the day napping and I’m really exhausted. The last year has been very intense.

anyway I had a missed call from my dad tonight then he messaged and said ‘can you call me please, I want to ask you something.’ AIBU to think if you have something to ask then ask in a message? Obviously I’m frazzled having just finished a thesis and I don’t want to call anyone. Plus I have to work tomorrow. AIBU to find this very annoying?

Do you even like your dad? You’re wasting your time on Mumsnet instead?

so far 75% think you are unreasonable (I’d use a different word myself)

Can you just reply for now
"Sorry Dad, I'm exhausted. Do you need talk to me today, or can it wait till im a bit better?'

I'm with you OP. Just message me - so much less intrusive when I'm tired or got 101 things to do. But don't get me started on voice notes - PITA.

wasting my time? I've just finished a bloody thesis today. If I want to mess about on mumsnet I will.

Just ring him tomorrow morning before you go to work and tell him from the start you don't have long because you need to get ready for work.

Just say “Hey dad i am reslly frazzled i will be houng into my cave fir lots of dleep for a week so my phone may be iff - is everything ok ? You got me a bit worried “

And what about the stress that put him through. he was relived from no doubt several weeks of worry, and you can't be bothered to support him.

You sound exceptionally selfish OP. all your comments are about how you feel and with no consideration for your parents at all.

Thesis or cancer? - I know which one I would see as more significant if you asked me to choose. But you appear so self absorbed that you can't see this. you actually come across as a stroppy hormonal teenager not a 30 yr old adult.

He's tried to call you and you didn't answer so he's asking you to call when you're free. Would it be better if he just kept calling until you answered? I don't get what the issue is. That generation don't text as much as we do.

My DP’s mum is a bit like this. All her messages are cryptic and I almost feel like they’re designed to either instill anxiety or confuse. She will call about things that aren’t particularly urgent or could’ve been a message. I don’t think she’s manipulative on purpose but she makes things more than they need to be

Yes this i dont see the issue

Why doesn’t anyone want to talk to each other any more? It’s so much more efficient, avoids ambiguity given how easily written communication can be misinterpreted, and gives some much needed human contact.

Wait until you’re old, OP. You will long for the comfort of another human voice.

“Hi, dad. I’m really tired and frazzled now as I’ve just completed my thesis and I’m not really up to talking. Is it urgent or if not, could it wait a bit? xx “

I said earlier in the thread he's difficult. So there is a reason I feel this way. Jesus who mentioned cancer apart from you? It won't be that. Trust me.

Honestly you sound self absorbed. I get you're tired but surely you can just confirm everything is ok and cut the call short. I'm thankful my kids don't object to me calling unless I have an emergency.

Errr you mentioned cancer

WTF. I have to wonder sometimes at the way some MNers talk about their parents.

Have you name changed mid thread? I thought that was impossible now.

Gosh young people today! Sheesh! 🙄😉 Fine OP that you're knackered, understandable. Maybe he's lonely though.

My DD (24) called my mobile today from a landline at her work. She'd left her phone in her boyfriends car and wanted me to call him to get him to turn around and bring it to her place of work. The only number she knows by heart is mine. I answered, as I always do unless it says suspected scam. Called her boyfriend got him to take her phone to her. All good.

Had I called her no way would she have picked up, even if she knew it was me! Such double standards!

I called a colleague by Teams the other day without shock horror messaging first to see if it was OK. She bollocked me for not checking first. She wasn't in a meeting, was on green, what is the big deal, either answer or ignore!

We used to have phones on our desks that rang, we answered. Everyone is phone phobic. Society has gone bat shit crazy.

Yes, it is, if you’re using the same account. OP must have joined the thread from a second account. Seems elaborate.

Understandably he might want to talk to you about this. It's a good thing, surely? Some (not all) of my older relatives just phone, and I'd quite like the fact he texts first as that gives you time to finish any urgent tasks, get yourself settled for a call etc.

you did, in the second part of your original post. You 'virtually' tutted that he dare share the news with you he'd had a test and was calling to tell you it was clear.

I am horrified by your total lack of any empathy or thought for anyone other than yourself.

I feel sad for your dad. It sounds like he just wants to talk to you and about the things in his life, maybe doing the testing scared him

I also don't see where he "demanded" you call him, unless I've missed that in your OP.

It's personal preference. I hate being called on the phone. You have a right to have a personal preference. I prefer texts as they mean I will reply when I want to and I'm not always 'on' if that makes sense. I'm with you OP. Others on this thread prefer calls. Good for them. But no one is right or wrong.

Ffs - don’t fucking call him then OP - so dramatic. Maybe he wants a chat. Maybe he’s got something to tell you and wants you to call back. Why so precious - it’s just your dad and a call.