Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

[sarak20]

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

After such greedy, grabby behaviour I'd just send a card and pretend you didn't see the WhatsApp. 'It's such a pity you didn't want presents - I was looking forward to choosing something' - with a deadpan expression.

Poor baby, at that age the box and paper is the only thing they're interested in.

This 100% because the toys they buy will be quickly grown out of and you can pass them on via charity shop etc. or sell them.

A ridiculous ask. Not sure i spent £50 on my own children at that age.

I'd want to be deliberately awkward with that wording because I'd interpret no boxed gifts as something play-ready. I.e built and not in stupid plastic ties you can't get into while the child wails for it. On that basis I'd buy something noisy and flashy secondhand.

Well either directly tell him, or dont.

You have 4 children, how is this so difficult for you.

You also sound like men who have left their children and resent paying for them, as the mothers may get their nails done occasionally

My sister in law hates me so I really don't want to be gifting her my hard earned cash for her to just spend it on herself 🫠

If they spend £20 then surely this is the family norm? Not that there needs to be a norm if finances vary. But expecting a minimum amount of £50 is very rude.

In terms of whether to do a gift, voucher or cash it's up to you but at 1 they won't really care. Maybe keep the peace for now and save the battle for when he's older and get him something you know he would love?

I don’t think anyone has a right to specify what gifts they want! I would gift £20 and buy an outfit or book. That’s what we give to the children in our family, as we cannot afford more.

Well neither are nasty bullying responses in threads (I'm not saying yours is btw), but we still get plenty of those 🤷‍♀️

If someone said no boxed gifts to me, I'd take whatever I'd got out of the packaging & put it in a paper bag, then take the bag home with me - I'd assume they didn't want to fill their recycling bin!

Good shout. Your Brother and SIL are unbelievably rude. I would definately call your brother out on this. It is not normal behaviour.

So it’s your brother who’s saying they’re expecting £50 or more, but blaming it on his wife?
Rude and tacky.
I wouldn’t indulge them in this crass behaviour, just give a book, you can get personalised ones.
Gifts of money are, in my view, for children of pocket money age, who love having the opportunity to choose something for themselves. Vouchers are for people you don’t know know well enough to choose something specifically for, or for group presents, eg someone leaving work.
Grandparents could offer cash as savings money, or towards a specific item, but to request a large sum of cash from a cash-strapped young family is grabby in the extreme. If you do this even once, they’ll think it’s OK to do this for every Christmas and birthday until he is 18. You’ve mentioned that they haven’t given money or gifts to that value for your DC, which makes the whole thing in even poorer taste.

Don't give money or vouchers OP, SIL will probably just use them on herself, plus she'll slate you to everyone if you give less than £50. I would go for a book.

It's beyond rude to specify how much money to gift! So cheeky and entitled

I would get a 1 year old either a teddy or a book. I would not want to spend £50 thank you. Your relative sounds entitled!

He can expect all he likes. It doesn’t mean it’ll actually happen, though.

That is outrageous. Grabby twats. Buy something small and personalised. Sned that and tell them you had already brought it and don't have any cash spare at the moment. If they fall out with you over that I would say good riddance because they are only going to become more demanding!

You can write it on a card insert that can be used as a bookmark. I do this quite a lot: you can decorate it or do a handwritten note.

Since when did it become okay to dictate what gifts people buy. It is a GIFT, if it is of no use to you then regift it or give to charity.

I would respond back on the WhatsApp group and say, 'I won't be able to afford that, life is expensive with kids, as I'm sure you now know.' They can't argue with that surely. You have to be firm with such rude greedy people.

Definitely don’t give £50!! I like the idea of a gift voucher, but I also like the idea of personalised gifts (even if they might be in a box!).

Make the gift voucher from Jo Jo Mama so it can only just for the child

Membership to toy library.
A book.
A t-shirt or dress or hat.
A vouchure to local children's clothing shop.
Membership to local zoo.

Voucher to a local soft play. Preferably one with annoying plastic toys!

Like others I would say that you are coming across as either a bit controlling (no judgement, I was the same with mine, especially first time around when you have definite ideas of how you want to do things) or wanting money (also no judgement - you do end up with a room full of toys that they don’t need and it feels like a waste when you know the is a CoL crisis and DGPs are stretching their pensions).

I really would go with the: “dear all, I know that my DC is very lucky to have you all in their life and that you may want to spoil them for their first birthday, but I was wondering whether I could make some birthday gift suggestions? Books from X range, some autumn/winter baby clothes in X size, or vouchers to the zoo/aquarium that we could use over the winter months would be amazing. I am keen that anything you buy for them is worn, used and played with lots so that you know it is really appreciated.”

ETA FFS, another bloody reverse. Sick of them. I really am.

I find reverses actually useful sometimes as you don’t get everyone just agreeing with the OP. It gives more diverse opinions some times

It does sound like ' just give me money' to be honest!