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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

232 replies

sarak20 · Today 08:44

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

OP posts:
Bacarditropicalfizz · Today 08:46

YANBU - I think when they are 1 they haven’t got a clue what a birthday is anyway so clothing is a fine gift or nice books.

What kind of gifts would you be happy with?

saveforthat · Today 08:46

What is the alternative? A non boxed gift? What's that, cash?

Raptors · Today 08:47

Ask people to buy them a book instead. Asking for no boxes gifts basically translates to give me money.

Beckywiththegoodnails · Today 08:47

I’m confused by the reference to a box?
is that to sound less crass than saying money is ok?
how about no gifts

Moonnstarz · Today 08:47

Who would the message be going to? I don't think you can dictate to friends and wider family, but if you are close to your parents/in laws maybe you could way something to them about preferring savings for the future/soft play pass or whatever you think would be a better alternative.

AnneLovesGilbert · Today 08:47

Raptors · Today 08:47

Ask people to buy them a book instead. Asking for no boxes gifts basically translates to give me money.

Exactly this.

GiftWrappedSuburbanDreams · Today 08:47

Could you say no need to bring any gifts, but if they really want to give something, a book or gift voucher for clothes would be appreciated?

ByTipsyShark · Today 08:48

Could you not just ask everyone to buy a book instead?

Daisy12Maisie · Today 08:48

Just ask for what you would actually like eg can you get blue winter clothes in age 18 - 24 months. Or can you get some books from this range?
Or if it’s someone that would spend a bit more eg parents could you get us an annual pass to the aquarium.
If someone said no boxed gifts I wouldn’t know what they meant. Just say s/he has lots of toys already so can you get clothes/ books/ a subscription. If you don’t want anything say can we not have presents. Or get them to sponsor them a donkey or something.

ShetlandishMum · Today 08:49

Your child turns 1. Let people enjoy buying a gift.

ChickenBananaBanana · Today 08:49

No boxed gifts sounds like pony up some cash. I'd think it was pretty rude tbh

CurlsLDN · Today 08:49

I’m not sure what no boxed gifts means? I’m not being facetious, just sharing the thoughts I would have if told this

  • are gifts in bags ok?
  • do you mean no big things in boxes, so cuddly toys, bath toys, clothes are ok?
  • are books ok?
  • or is it a code for cash only?

whichever it is, a gift is really the generous choice of the giver. Personally I find a directive like that rather affronting, but wouldn’t mind if my friend spoke to me and said ‘just to let you know we’re fully stocked with lots of toys. You don’t need to give a gift at all, but if you were thinking of giving something please don’t give toys’

mindutopia · Today 08:49

If this is family, I think it’s fine to say no toys please as you don’t have the space. Books and clothes as an alternative. Or money for savings account.

I think if this is wider friends, though I appreciate you won’t really have nursery friends yet at this age, you’ll probably still get gifts anyway.

AImportantMermaid · Today 08:49

Does no boxed gifts mean cash? No, I don’t think you can say that. Just keep the ones that are duplicates and regift them or ask for books.

KarcherK5 · Today 08:49

I think a lot of people don’t know the phrase “no boxed gifts” - when I first saw it on a wedding invitation I was baffled and thought they had some kind of issue with recycling cardboard 😅.

Open a savings account for the kid and just tell anybody who’d like to give a gift that you’d love it if they could add whatever they would have spent to the account so that it can grow for your kid’s future needs.

RitaFires · Today 08:53

I wouldn't understand no boxed gifts and probably buy you something that comes in a bag. It's better to direct people to what you do want rather than try to direct them away from what you don't, especially when the directions are ambiguous.

sarak20 · Today 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
TrunkElliot · Today 08:55

I’d buy a book.

Randomchat · Today 08:56

How much were you planning to give? Just give that amount of cash and a token book or t-shirt or something. And don't put it in a box.

McSpoot · Today 08:56

Not another stupid reverse.

NervousSheepy · Today 08:56

I think yabu, givers get to choose the gifts they give. You can suggest things and just give away anything you don't want. Why does everyone seem so determined to control everyone and everything these days.

Raptors · Today 08:56

sarak20 · Today 08:54

Thanks for all your replies. This is what my sister in law has asked everyone to do. She has put on the invites "no boxed gifts". She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above. I have four kids it isn't exactly easy for me to dish out £100 to her. I would have much preferred to buy my own gifts. What would you do in this situation?

I would buy the baby a book and ignore your sisters ridiculous request. £50 + is madness to spend on a 1 year old.

DaisyChain505 · Today 08:56

She can fuck right off with her entitlement of saying how much the gifts should cost. I wouldn’t spend £50 on a grown adult relative for their birthday let alone a bloody one year old.

I understand saying that they have plenty of toys so there’s no need for more unnecessary plastic crap but she could offer a list of alternatives like books, creative play, clothes etc.

islingtontrial · Today 08:56

I think people love to buy for babies and young children so it’s a bit mean to deny them that. I would find ‘no boxed gifts’ very rude and grabby. Just say you don’t need anything for the baby then those who want to can give you money.

Slightyamusedandsilly · Today 08:56

TrunkElliot · Today 08:55

I’d buy a book.

Any parent should be happy with books, surely? And if it's one they don't like, quietly charity shopped.

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