Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

[sarak20]

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

Obviously I type too slowly, just ignore her, it is a ridiculous request and not a requirement.

By some clothes or a book. Neither of those come in a box 😁

This is my first niece. I had planned to get her a lot of personalised keepsakes. But now I've been thrown with "no boxed gifts" and she does keep hinting she only wants cash as she's bought her child absolutely everything he needs

That’s a euphemism i haven’t heard before.

Just give her the cash for whatever you would have spent on a gift then. Only what you can afford, a sister should understand and if she doesn’t then she can sod off!

Gifts aren’t gifts if they’re unwanted, they’re annoying.

Agree. your sister is beyond grabby. Just put £10 /£20 in a card. When did people become so disgustingly grabby? The more we give into people like that the worse it will get.

Bloody rude. 'No gifts thank you' would be polite, this is just grabby.

She's going to get a shock as the child gets older. One year olds get given a lot of clothes and things anyway but between 3 and 8 she's going to get plenty of toys whether she likes it or not. School friends aren't going to give money. The toys get bigger too.

Talk to your brother. Personally I’d give a John Lewis/ Amazon/ M&S voucher for however much you normally spend on presents (which for me would be about £15) and then maybe a nice cardigan or hat set. I’d explain to DB that you don’t spend £50 on birthday presents as a family.

Or you could offer to take your niece out to a soft play with some/ all of your own kids one weekend morning over the winter.

Asking for no big gifts is a bit fun sponge but I can understand it if people have strong views on plastic/ live somewhere small. Expecting over £50 is completely batshit and grabby though. Best to draw a line in the sand now IMO.

Personal keepsakes can be really annoying if they mean nothing to the parents. She will have her own keepsakes from them.

Peoples homes are full of tat and it’s a real
problem.

Oh my god don’t get personalised keepsakes. This is exactly is why people don’t want random gifts for their child. If I received this I would be polite and might even think how sweet for about ten seconds then I’d just be thinking ‘oh great, more crap to have lying around the house’. ‘Keepsakes’ honestly sounds like pointless landfill. If you don’t want to give cash (understandable!) pick a book

Do you think a voucher is a better option so I know the money is actually being spent on the baby and not herself? My sister in law hates me so I really don't want to be gifting her my hard earned cash for her to just spend it on herself 🫠

It's really crappy to give personalised keepsakes when you aren't the one obliged to keep them forever.

I’d buy a little outfit and wrap it in paper - not a box. I’d hope she’d be too polite to say anything but if she does I’d say ‘my gift is not boxed, as per your request, the only other thing I could think of was that you were asking people for money and I know you are much to polite for that’

love this!!

I definitely wouldn’t do personalised keepsakes. Won’t mean anything to the wee one and will just be more stuff for the parents. I also would ignore ‘no boxed gifts’ as a command as that just sounds ridiculous. Just get a couple books and offer to take her out one afternoon with your kids.

I can absolutely understand not wanting personalised keepsakes TBH, in my house they end up unused/ going to charity and some are absolute tat. But I do think the “over £50” is batshit. Just tot up how much you’d have spent and give it in vouchers/ cash.

Ahh exactly this! I'm thinking to just give a voucher

I think she’s greedy and ungrateful would be my first thought
I’ve always accepted everyone’s gifts gracefully and if I haven’t wanted/liked them - either sold or regifted
£50 cash is just a bit much

I have had one alternative request once tho a little girl in my daughters class - she said in a party invite that her daughter was saving up for a swing for the garden and if people wanted to put afew pennies in a card that would be lovely. This however is an entirely different sort of request isn’t it???

This mum had just moved to her new rental, they didn’t have much so it was a great idea. I wrapped up a £1 bag of haribo and put £10 In a card - job done. Something to open and something to spend.

but £50+ that would not be happening!

I agree on a lovely outfit or a set of books maybe? The little Beatrix Potter or Brambly Hedge ones are lovely.

Oh god please don’t buy anybody personalised keepsakes, they are just tat that clutters up the house and ends up in a charity shop (or if it’s an unusual name or includes the date of birth then it’s more likely to be landfill).

No to personalised keepsakes.
No to cash - unless they give minimum of £50 cash to each of your children

i wpuld buy two books or one nice hardback one. They can be kept as memories of all those special times being read to and favourite stories.

No adult still has ‘my first birthday’ keepsakes, do they, OP? It’s not really a good gift for a baby. I promise she won’t care that you didn’t buy things she’s got no room to store as she grows up.

I’d buy a cute sun hat the child can use in this hot weather, and a fun interactive book the parents can read with the child, and leave it there. The child will be totally unaware of the meaning of the day.

Just choose a nice gift the child will appreciate and shake off the feeling of obligation the parents are trying to set up.

Good lord, there’s obviously quite the backstory. Just give your DB the vouchers if you’re that worried. Or, as above, get him to bring your DN out for the day and get her something then. But really, is it worth the hassle for £15?

This, and the personalised keepsakes thing, gives me the sense that you’re just itching to turn this into a petty row.

Is this your brother’s wife (in which case talk to him) or your husband’s sister (in which case, what does he think)?