Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

[sarak20]

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

You’ll find this is something you’ll struggle with until they’re old enough to want small gifts, like over the age of 8. People will just buy stupidly big gifts that you’ll have to live around that’s normal. It won’t jus happen in their first birthday 😬 so yea I agree with you as it’s a joke getting loads and loads of big gifts but are you expecting them to never get gifts at any age 🤔 surely the constant battle of the unwanted gifts is just a part of parenting 😩🤪

If you google “drum for one year old” there are plenty of excellent options around the £15 mark. And some are even pretty painted wood not tacky bright plastic. Take it out of the box before wrapping it and job’s a good ‘un!

I actually get not wanting loads of toys and things that will take up physical space, especially if you know you have relatives whose enjoyment of tat is greater than yours.

But given the circumstances I'd probably just do as a pp said and buy some generic, functional rather than elaborate clothing to whatever your budget is. A 1 year old is still going to get covered in a lot of shit, clothes are useful.

Your brother is a knob and pretty nasty actually. Typical 'lets blame the mother' behaviour because I'm either a) too embarassed to admit that its a joint idea and I'm fully onboard or b) too weak or lazy to tell his wife that he doesn't agree and put forward his own ideas.

See I think it’s really sad knowing that gifts will come into the home just to be land fill or donated.

My mum and dad love buying for our kid. I have had to rein them in and almost dictate what to buy because they are still not playing with previous gifts that were bought.

I'd take that as they didn't need anything, and just buy a card and maybe a board book. The 1yo won't have a clue.

Malicious compliance.

Buy something second hand, it's technically not in a box. 👍🏻

This is standard in some cultures and absolutely fine (my in laws do it). Would never be done by my side of the family or among my friends. Give a voucher to the value you can afford.

So you have 4 kids and they have one? In that case I’d be tempted to go along with it “oh great that you’ve decided to do £50 presents for nieces and nephews, my 4 will be delighted! Are you sure though? That’s going to end up costing you £200 a year, seems like a lot! But happy to go along with it if that’s what you want?”.

I am willing to bet they’re only thinking about their kid getting £50, not about reciprocating, but they won’t be able to articulate any good reason for that so will have to drop it.

It shouldn’t have to be part of parenting, we are in an environmental crisis of over consumption and we could all do with being a bit more honest about gifts.

Not being grabby and asking for £50 though.

Remind them about this LOUDLY and laugh and say yeah nice try bro!

No boxes gifts, that’s so fetch.

So you say your sil hates you @sarak20
So you start a thread to have her slagged off - while making sure we know it’s not your brother's fault ..

I personally would knit a jumper in a colour I know she likes, but if you can't knit, a book.
No, I wouldn't be handing over £50.

We have a relatively small house, I hate being given keepsake gifts because honestly, what on earth am I going to do with it after the kid ages out of it?

Having said that, they are being super rude. We said "no gifts please" for our second child's first birthday. We just wanted family to spend time with him but we already had all the toys we needed and had space for. But expecting cash instead? And £50+ at that?!? They can bugger off, get a gift card for whatever amount you'd normally spend.

I’d either give a book or nothing. If they say anything, give a head tilt, tinkly laugh, and say ‘oh, I thought that must have been a joke’, then change the subject.

“We have so many toys so please don’t feel the need to bring a gift. If you do want to gift something, a contribution towards a farm annual pass (or whatever they would want) would be greatly appreciated”. I think saying something along the lines of this is fine. Hinting a minimal amount to give is insanely rude.

Agree. While saying this at a wedding may be OK ( or not) it is definitely not OK for a baby’s birthday. If you do not have more storage and all the presents you want then maybe say this and ask for no presents. The expression no boxed gifts is usually on south asian wedding invitations so isn’t even in common usage in the uk.

£50!!!?!?! Jeez

Be greatful for what gifts people give you. Your one year old may be very popular now but people, lots of them will lose interest and drop of the gift buyers list as the years go on. Especi

Id be that person who gets her exactly what she got you….and gush about how wonderful her idea was!! 😂😂

Give them a book they can read to the baby - to make it more personal, choose a story you and your brother enjoyed as kids. If you don't have much cash, a clean, good condition second hand book is fine. No decent person would want a family member short of money to be spending a fortune on gifts for their one year old.

If they are rude enough to complain about this, I wouldn't respond, I would just gaze at them in horrified fascination.

Out of interest, how does your brother express the "over £50" expectation - what words does he actually use? And is this over text, in person? I am just fascinated by anyone thinking this he an OK thing to say, and would love to know how he goes about it, just to satisfy my own curiosity really!

Has she actually asked for £50 or just hinted? I would just put whatever cash you would spend in a nice card and be done with it! Don't overthink it. Buying vouchers is just a pain in the arse quite frankly, it's easy to forget about them until they've expired and then your money is just wasted!

What if they have already got a copy of that book? Or 3 people give the same ?

If I saw no boxed gifts I would assume it meant only second hand, ie it was someone else like me who is upset at the amount of plastic crap in the world and wants to avoid adding to it. It would never occur to me to give someone cash?! Greedy.