To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

[Autumnalbride]

I'm having an autumn themed wedding. I've asked everyone, all the wedding party, family and all the guests to wear autumn colours - brown, orange, yellow, red etc.
Some of the men want to wear grey suits but I am upset by this because I don't see grey as an autumn colour. They say they will wear autumn coloured ties and accessories but I said I want the suits to be in Autumn colours
Is this unreasonable?

The thread gallery is absolutely killing me. You go ahead and insist on those colours OP. You'll have guests turning up as pumpkins and all sorts. Can I come as a brown leaf?😂😂😂

Bridezilla !!!!!
Get over yourself.

The wedding doesn't matter and she'll probably be divorced soon if that's her level of maturity.

I’m agog at this thread. Don’t go to the wedding and look forward to the pictures that you can have a good laugh at ! Also wait for the divorce which will inevitably follow !

Read the thread

Maybe read the whole thread or at least OP's posts

This has to be a piss take? If not, I wish you luck, as you will surely need it.

It's a wedding. It will cost half her guests who don't live nearby the best part of £200 to get a hotel and pay for travel.

On top of this she wants them to spend another £120 on a suit for the blokes and probably about £80 on a dress for the women plus £30 for a matching pair of shoes. I won't mention handbags and I'm being conservative on the amounts there really.

So we are up £410 for a couple.

Then she's having a hen do which is costing £300.

So we are up to £710.

Let's add a couple of kids. £50 each on an outfit. £810.

Then your drinks on the night. Let's make that up to £900.

Oh shit you've not got your wedding gift yet.

We are at a grand. Quite easily without thinking.

And she's wondering why on earth people are getting upset with her ridiculous theme.

Let her get on with it. You know everyone who goes will have a crappy day because there will be some drama over why it's not perfect. And it'll probably be all your fault or there will be a massive tantrum cos great Aunt Bessie turned up in her usual blue wedding outfit because she didn't realise that the bride was mad and that ridiculous.

Your Mum and Dad are going to have a fab day. Tbh, they need to be the ones to glad her a verbal slap and tell her to belt up.

Honestly, maybe telling her to fuck off etc werent the best thing you could have done. But you have probably done yourself a favour here because it's now not your drama and you don't have to spend a fortune on crap.

Console yourself that her wedding photos are going to age so badly or look ridiculous.

She will be wanting something really tasteful in her photos. She's more likely to end up with a bunch of garish colours that look terrible anyway. And she'll have a wobbler because they aren't the right shade.

Ironically brown and grey would work. Which makes the drama even more hilarious.

Are you paying for the outfits? If yes then you can choose any colours you like but if not then no you are taking the piss!!

Do the rest of your family find your sister batshit crazy? Or are they all complying with her?

I think you’re being very very unreasonable.

Buying what she is requesting in the approved colours, and then attending the hen do and the wedding could have been two or three amazing threads.

Glad your son has had a lucky escape though, those photos of him carrying a cushion with a ring on it could have been brutal.

Bridezilla , utterly ridiculous

I don't think it is unreasonable for women (the colour scheme) as most women are likely to have one of those colours in their wardrobe (though personally I say let everyone wear whatever the F they want). But for men it is crazy. No one has suits in autumn colours and no one would ever wear one again.

Hasn't read the thread, utterly ridiculous

Yuk. I would not wear yellow , brown or orange . They are colours that would not suit most people so I wouldn't bee going to your wedding if asked .

Personally, I would ask this post to be removed ASAP OP before you make a bad situation any worse. As surely her or one of her guests will recognise you from all the details.

If she had said from the get go clearly that she wanted everyone to wear something purple, pastel or an autumnal shades or something. Then guests could have got a tie or accessories in a particular shade or a dress in those shades if they had so desired and could afford it. But in real life most men have a suit for special occasions they don’t buy a new one as they are a costly purchase.

Your sister sounds absolutely bat shit crazy, self absorbed and out of touch with reality although organising a wedding can be very stressful and can bring out the worst in people sometimes although you don’t exactly come out of this well either op. Weddings have changed since you got married and some weddings are colour themed for instagram (but you need to be realistic but then some people have a week or a long weekend abroad for a hen do and expect all the guests to attend and stump up the costs).

OP ask yourself honestly what you want to achieve now by your message, telling her to F off and by your post here. Although you said it nicely you sounded quite pleased about your son not wanting to be a ring bearer. Although I am not surprised a 13 year old wouldn’t want to do this and why didn’t your sister ask him herself?

Do you want to fall out with your sister and have strained family relations and awkwardness for the rest of your lives (think about Christmases, future family celebrations big birthdays, anniversaries etc, just to ruin your sisters wedding day and shift the attention to yourself about you being the victim and you being in the right (so it doesn’t upstage your wedding photos) or do you want and expect your sister to come crawling back apologising, grovelling and begging you and your family to please go to her wedding (maybe even buying your son an autumnal coloured suit) or scrap her wedding colour scheme completely just to appease you etc etc.

Also just think about whether it is definitely the right thing to go no contact. Similar happened with my DSis for relatively minor reasons (totally get why you are furious but it is minor in the scheme of things). I blocked her as was furious. Two days later she was in a major car accident on the motorway and nearly didn't survive. All the anger disappeared instantly and I felt horrified I ever got so upset about something so inconsequential. It was similar to your story in that it was caused by DSis's bratty behaviour, but i realised i let it get to me when I could just have let it wash over me.

In a separate story I went no contact another close family who was an awful person. When she died I didn't mourn at all. I didn't feel bad for a second about cutting her off.

You need to try to know the difference i think, if DSis was gone tomorrow would you feel awful about your behaviour or would you find it sad but still maintain your position? If the former i would say to her that life is short and you don't want to fall out, you love her and want her to have the wedding of her dreams, but can she show some flexibility on men's suits as not everyone has the £££ to pay for new clothes they will wear once. Say you owe each other an apology (even if really it is her more than you). If she continues to be a dick about it all then at least you know you have done everything you could.

Hideous colors that suit very few. I hope all the men turn up in bright “New England autumn” orange suits with bright yellow ties, shorts & socks, and all the women in poobrown, damp England autumn dresses. 😂😂😂😂

Must be a wind up, surely?

Grey suits, grey skies _ very autumnal & on theme. Your sis is batshit!

Surely this is a wind up?!
You want the men to wear red, orange or yellow suits 😂 Really?!
Grey looks neutral in any case against a backdrop of autumn colours. Let them wear grey....

I'd happily comply as I'm a real Autumn colours redhead but for men especially it's not really doable, not many have/would buy a brown suit, though I like the idea, nice crysanthemum in the buttonhole...

Men would not get the benefit of buying an autumnal suit as they’d never wear it again

🤣

@Autumnalbride Just tell your sister that your DS is dressing as the grey autumnal sky…..