Is it crazy to make my age limit for having children 30 ?

[Chachaslide1]

I’m currently 25 and have a 4 year old. When I say to people if I don’t have any more kids by 30 then I’m done. I always get looked at like I’m mad or being hasty with my age limit.

Is this super unusual ? To me it makes sense as mid 30 to 40s I will have more freedom to discover myself with older children

Why are you thinking about his now? Just see how you feel in 5 years time.

You aren’t going to be held to ransom by a thought you had as to when you’d last have a baby

I mean nobody else really cares what you do

When I say to people if I don’t have any more kids by 30 then I’m done. I always get looked at like I’m mad or being hasty with my age limit.

Stop talking about your long term family plans with multiple people then

They are probably looking you and thinking “why do you think I care?”

Very sensible. By the age of 32 I decided no more children and I would be happy with the one I had. I'm 46 now and he's about to turn 18. I feel young enough to enjoy my life now.

I always get looked at like I’m mad or being hasty with my age limit.

You're probably misinterpreting this for a 'She may think that now but...' kind of look.

Either way no-one would really care except you and the father I think?

It’s neither crazy nor sane, it’s just your choice. The relationship I was in at 25 ended (infidelity, not mine) as did the subsequent two. I met the father of my children when I was 36. I had an amazing time in my 20s and 30s and now I’m ready to chill out. But I don’t judge anyone who would rather have their kids younger and have more freedom in their 40s/50s.

Why do you even mention it. I never mentioned to anyone when I wanted my children.

30 was my limit too. I had 1 at 20 and 1 at 27.

What a wierd thing to keep sharing with others!

From a purely biological standpoint, your twenties are the peak decade for human fertility, offering the highest chance of quick conception, highest egg quality, and lowest risk of genetic abnormalities or pregnancy complications.

Probably, yes.

I was having a conversation with my partners family as they was asking me questions. I’m not randomly saying it to people. Plus when you have a child people will ask about when your having more etc

The post was more to spark a discussion on people’s views on age deadlines an family planning

I had the same “rule” wanted to be done by 30, and I was.
my reasoning was that my parents were older, 39 and 44 when I was born and unfortunately both died in my early 20’s so I wanted to minimise the chances of that happening to my kids. I’m 50 now, and it’s a relief to me that my kids are adults, although I still hope to live on a decade or two yet!

It's your call and sure, sounds like there's some thought and sense behind it to be out of the young child phase in your mid 40s given you'll have spent your 20s and potentially early 30s there.

The looks of surprise might be from those who aren't thinking of starting families until their 30s.

But it's fine for you to plan that for yourself now and as others say you can always change your mind later if you wanted.

They aren’t looking at you like you’re mad because of what you are saying about the age limit. They are wondering why on earth you think they would be interested in knowing this

So… your in-laws expressed surprise.

That is it?

Looking back on my life I can say that one of the biggest wastes of time is making making plans for an older you. Life changes you. What you want at 24 almost certainly won't be what you want at 34. You will be a more experienced, mature, wiser, different person then.

That's why these lists of 'married by 25, company director by 30' are so flawed and channel people into lives that make them unhappy. Ditto bucket lists.

At 24 you can't possibly comprehend how the 34 year old you will feel, how life will be, what might happen and, in the process, you waste today making ridiculous plans. Have faith in the older you and live now.

Very few have dc at 25 now snd many establish careers and wait until over 30 for a first. So no dc after 30 is odd these days. If you are rich, maybe, or don’t have a career, but if you do, most women want decent earnings for 10 years to set them up.

I think if you already have a 4 year old that's sensible. Better not to have a big age gap.

Not crazy, I had all my children before 30 and wouldn’t have any after

I can understand where you’re coming from, as your 20s have mostly dominated by having a young child then I can see you’d want that phase over by mid 30s.

You’re not judging people who have kids later you’re just saying in your circumstances it’s not for you.

This sounds like an absolute non-issue. The only people who need to be concerned about what age they have babies are the people who are having those babies. Have them at 20, have them at 50, who cares? It’s nobody else’s business.

The only way it makes sense is because you’ll have a big gap between children which mightn’t be what you want, otherwise it does seem young!!

I did this, I was adamant that I wanted no more children after the age of 30 and I had my last, surprise, one the month before I turned 31.

It actually worked out really well as the youngest is now 18 and DH and I are young enough to enjoy our freedom again and each other. The house is paid off and we finally have enough money to do some of the things we didn't get to do when we were younger.

Although it only turned out that way because we were lucky enough to meet each other very young, be compatible, fertile and still very in love.