Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

I did

Me too

Would it be rude to ask for reasons why and how things turned out?

My mum did

I did…

No judgement here at all. Why did you choose to leave and how did things turn out?

Yep I did

So you mean leave as in leave and the children remain with the other parent?

Or leave with the children?

My mum walked on both of us, a 4 year old and a 1 year old. As did one of my friends mums. And one of her friends mums. All walked out on their kids.

it is as far from uncommon as people think. It’s just not talked about and people try to justify it as mental illness or something.

Under what circumstances and how was it for you? Sorry not sure how to ask in a sensitive way x

Sorry should have clarified-leave the children too

So sorry, do you know the reasons why? Do you have contact?

My uncle's first wife did this. Left two small children. I think my uncle was quite a difficult man and unfaithful. She came back to get her things and blanked the two year old. He ended up with life long mental health problems. My uncle did remarry a wonderful woman who treated the kids well

She was having an affair and left to be with the other man (a family friend). I was a teen in the middle of my exams. It was shit.

I couldn't afford the house on my own so I rented somewhere else for me and the kids

I called the police following domestic violence.

they followed their protocol which was to ask him to leave the house for a night.

he did and came back at 5am.

my dd and I did not feel safe so we packed a bag and left, to an Airbnb initially.

And things are fine. I'm not sure it's as unusual as you think it is

Yes and no she died several years later, we were still relatively young obvs but she’d never had contact since she left.

felt her marriage and kids was a mistake wanted to start again. Our dad raised us.

a quick google says it’s about one fifth women who do it, four fifths men.

Oh right, no I took the kid - one had left for uni and only one was still at home.

I actually don’t know a situation where either has left, mortgages are expensive and rent on top until the family home is sold is a bit ridiculous.

actually scrap that a friend experiencing domestic violence had to leave after spending £18k on a non mol/
occupation order that wasn’t granted. The police and courts made it clear if you believe you are in danger you leave

she took the children

Yes she’s asking about some leaving their kids, I suspect most people know divorce is common and the kids staying with the mother the norm.

My mum did when we were older (pre teens) and a friends mum did when they were tiny. Uncommon but not unheard of. It has impacted both our relationships with our mums, as you'd expect. I don't believe there was DV, but certainly in unhappy marriages and had heads turned by someone else.

I did - my ex was abusive and I knew he would never leave that house. I rented for a few years before buying into my now DH’s house. I lost out on a lot of equity as my ex wouldn’t engage with the sales process and after taking him to court twice I had neither the energy or the funds to go again so agreed for him to buy me out at 50% of what had been agreed as part of the divorce. Best thing I ever did as otherwise it would have been another year at least of solicitor / court fees and more stress. While I’ll never fully recover financially due to having had to give him 50% of my pension (he didn’t have one) I’m doing way better than I would have done had I stayed or continued to push for the sale of the house.

ETA: just seen about the children, mine were teens so one came with me and one stayed. Their choice. I’m still very close to my oldest (who chose to stay and has since moved out) but he was almost 18 at that point so different from a younger child. A friend of mine left her marital home and her (younger) kids and did every other weekend due to work commitments. It seems to work well for them.

I know a few but I have never felt like I could ask.

I know single dads, so the woman did leave, but in some of those cases, she was abusing the child, so I don't know if that counts for what you're asking (as in she was made to leave).
There aren't likely to be as many cases of a mum as opposed to a dad walking out, because if a a woman gets pregnant (despite using contraception) she can choose to abort or have the child adopted, so she's only likely to keep the baby if she really wants to have it, meaning she is less likely to walk out.