Have you ever known the woman to leave the family home and leave the kids behind? (title edited by MNHQ at request of the OP)

[Iliketocallthemsmilelines]

Or did you leave yourself?

It seems to be very rare, but it surely must happen

I know someone in Scotland this happened to. His wife walked out and left him with 3 girls. I don't know the full details but I gather there were mental health issues and probably some domestic violence (from her) involved.

He has spent the past 5 years or so raising 3 daughters while working full time to pay the bills.

I know many and i dont judge them either.

??

I've not split up but I have contemplated what would happen if we did split. It may change if it actually happens but I can see leaving my partner the house and my daughter whilst I rent nearby and see her regularly but with her dad being the primary parent

My mum did and it has never been spoken of since.

If the subject is ever broached or anything approaching it, we are shut down like it never happened. Definitely affected my relationship with her (complex anyway).

If this is you, don't do this. Talk about it.

I think most women who leave due to domestic violence would take the children.I did. Otherwise he might start on them!

My maternal grandmother did this, leaving a 3,4 and 6 year old. This was back in 1933! Apparently he was not a pleasant man, but his 18 year old girlfriend moved in. She remained the granny figure in my life.

It must have been a bit scandalous at the time, but it does happen.

Yes, I know someone who left their baby and partner a few months in. Baby was very much wanted pre pregnancy but after a few months she said motherhood wasn't for her and left. She now sees child every other weekend but even then she sometimes cancels

edit to add it was a few months postpartum and not left for another man

Much more common that I thought, so interesting but really sad. Most of the stories here seem to have been them leaving for another man. Just can’t fathom it.

There is a poster who has been posting non stop the last few days, complaining that her husband or partner left her to parent alone. My apologies to the OP if she isn't the same person, but I have the sense she probably is.

??? Not me

My husband's mother did this. I'm afraid I do judge. Probably sexist of me. I just can't get my head round it. She was actually having a mental health crisis but even once that had passed my husband's dad did the vast share of parenting/day to day.
Edited to add that it was for another man.

Yup. My friend left her 3 kids when the youngest was 2. She actually has a great relationship with them all now as adults.

My aunty Val did, My SIL did and my old next door neighbour - his mum left him and the marital home to run off with Dusty Springfield!!!

Yes because she was having an affair with her best friends husband. Left her husband and four children and moved in with him, left 8 children who'd been best friends devastated. The kids choose to not see her very often. Her new partners an absolute dick to them when they go, so they prefer to just stay with their dad.

My mum did when I was 6 and I then lived with my Grandma as my dad effectively checked out. I actually had a good childhood from then on but now I’m a mum, I struggle to see how she could do that to me.

Only just realised I hit post without finishing it. Oops. I try really not to get judgy. But it goes against my own instincts as a mother so it can be hard not to.

I known it to happen, but the women who left all had a major mental health breakdown shortly after.

I know many and i dont judge them either.

I judge them. As the OP points out, it is usually for another man. Not good when father's do it. Not good when mother's do it. Not all women are saints and not all men are sinners.

There's a women on tiktok that done this. Think her name is Tegan?

My mum did. We were teenagers at the time, but, she’d have been better off going when we were much younger. Once she and my father didn’t live together, they were both better parents. We lived with years, and years of her coming and going, which was very unsettling - she has significant MH difficulties and simply didn’t have capacity to look after herself, be a mother, and be a wife.

My dad was so out of his depth
trying to look after her, look after us, look after himself and keep a roof over our heads. Like I say, they were both better parents separately.

Funnily enough, 20+ years later, they got back together. They enjoy spending their weekends and holidays together and have lots of shared hobbies. They don’t live together though, and I don’t think they will until they need each other’s support as they age.

I initially read it as were you the one to leave the family home instead of the man in the event of a split, and why? I was going to answer that you can't do much else if the man at least part owns it and won't leave! I didn't think it related to whether you took the kids or not

My apologies.

The plan was for the children to stay in the family home and he and i would share 50/50 having an appartment that we stayed in when either didnt have children. (NESTING) TBH that was a pipe dream it would never have worked in. He then accused me of abuse I WAS INVESTIGATED AND CLEARED. But because we fostered children it was either him and FC move out or ME whilst investigation took place and i couldn't do that to them. In hindsight i should have put my own children first and let him go with FC. But thats another story.
My relationship is damaged with some of my children which i will always regret but you make choices on what you have at the time.

My mother left when I was 15 and my brother 13. Our Dad was a pretty useless parent so I ended up picking up the slack. My brother was totally bereft. I became extremely capable of managing a house but very angry at the position I found myself in. Dad tried, but remained quite difficult to be around.
Mother lost all interest in us as her new man offered a child free existence and a healthy bank balance to spend.
Promises of her getting somewhere we could all live were just dangling carrots and contact became less and less.
She remarried and I remained low/almost no contact thereafter.

My brother has never recovered from the rejection- no girlfriends or zest for life.
I had a series of mostly toxic relationships and am now single by choice.

Her leaving was at such a pivotal point in our lives and has had far reaching effects.