To want one child-free day where I can do something for me?

[FunPartyIdeas]

I tutor term-time only but have a 6 yo of my own. No pay in school holidays so very limited re holidays and days out.
AIBU to want just one child-free day? Or even afternoon? Or am I being selfish in wanting that little break?

Yes, @MsPrufrockk , that is true. He can’t. And to be honest I’m finding the grilling (given that we’re talking about a man who is dying) and the ‘it’s your life’ really insensitive.

My DH has stage IV cancer and can barely get up the stairs. I said that this morning. He is in huge amounts of pain, the children forget and try to climb on his lap, he can’t (for example) take DD to the potty if she needs it or get them a toy they want. He just can’t.

He can sit and work at his laptop, however. I’m not sure how to make you understand, I think you do understand actually. I think you’re pretending not to understand as a way of showing how preposterous you think this is and that is as I said in my first paragraph insensitive in the extreme.

So to get back to the OP, yes, it is possible, depending on the job, to be able to work and not parent. It depends on the age of your children, it depends how many children you have and it depends on your job. Jobs are different and so are children. If someone says they or their partner can’t look after their child just accept it!

But the OP hasn’t specifically said that about her DH.

Exactly. It sounds incredibly unlikely that someone can work full time but cannot watch TV, do jigsaws, paint or similar activities with a 6 YO for a few hours.

Why can't you just use a holiday club sometimes. Good for them, good for you.

You wouldn't have had 'a grilling' if you hadn't been deliberately obtuse in the majority of your posts about this. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, and having family members of my own with end stage cancer, he must be a superhero to be able to work 35+ hours a week.

I'll say no more about him being unable to be responsible for his children for 10 minutes.

Can your mum have your child occasionally in the holidays?

I would think your DH can take the odd day off or have the child on weekends if he has time alone. You should both have this.

If you can't afford holiday clubs then you can't afford it.

Not unreasonable at all. I long for a child free day (or half day). SIL invited us all over to her place tomorrow and I'm trying to persuade DH to go with the kids but he won't. Don't get me wrong I actually like SIL (and her husband and kids) but I would love some me time.
I know it won't happen though. DH will have a million reasons why it's not a good idea so I will end up going and thinking about all the stuff I could be doing if I was allowed a break from my kids.
It's very hard when you don't have people willing to help out and doing anything other than going to the park costs money so I do totally understand how you feel. It's not easy entertaining kids for 6 weeks and I usually like the summer holiday but this one seems to be dragging (maybe because they had extra time off because of the heatwaves before the end of term).

I actually strove to be as polite as possible in the face of repeated ‘I don’t understand / I don’t understand / but I still don’t understand.’ I assumed it was someone genuinely not understanding at first and tried to explain some jobs are desk based but you were like a wasp against a window with it.

If you now understand that it is possible to work but not to look after little children, I think that this conversation is best left.

@MsPrufrockk What are you on about re 10 mins?

@Bjorkdidit Eh? Google EOTAS. I work for the LA via a teaching agency who have exclusivity. What's the issue?

This is exactly why I mentioned Netflix 😂 I originally said the older brothers could take her to the cinema and then suggested or stay in watching Netflix as I realised that the cinema isn't a cheap day out. I should have suggested stay in staring at the wall or something but I made a silly assumption based in OP mentioning binge watching.

@BudgetBuster Oh do give over.

Fair point. What can you binge watch without Netflix these days?
Amazon? Whatever it is it costs.

I was responding to other people lovey

You're not keeping up with your own thread, are you? 😂 That was a reference to another poster.

Give your head a wobble. You say it is not your DH’s job to fund you, but you are funding him. He doesn’t have to do or pay for any childcare as you are doing it. And you are not getting paid.

Also ridiculous that you can’t take yourself off for a day at the weekend. Working m-f to doesn’t mean he deserves a whole weekend of rest he is a parent.
Find your self worth.

@Blessedbethefruitloopss The issue I think is he and the family see the school holidays as my time off, which I suppose it is. I don't feel it is time off as I am with our lively little one 24/7, but it is unpaid time off. He doesn't earn enough to be able to pay the rent/bills/CT alone, let alone give me any extra.
The only option realistically going forwards will be to find a job which pays over the holidays, but as you say it will mean paying for childcare which we will have to find.
I would never consider going to back to teaching and will be absolutely gutted to leave the EOTAS tutoring I am doing (I do feel I am making a huge difference to the children and families I support and it brings me an wonderful sense of achievement, but needs must.
The difficulty will be finding a well enough paid job at 45 when teaching is all I have known since 23.

Hi Op, I am in the exact same position. My LO is also 6 and I only just found out that there are free summer camps throughout the holiday. Do a quick google search for free summer clubs in your borough, check AfC. And EEQU HAF.

@Fastfastfastsuper Thank you. I checked but we don't qualify for anything as don't receive any benefits 😞

You usually have to be eligible for targeted free school meals to access them.

Did you check eequ haf? I don't remember having to mention anything about benefits to join?

With how you have described your situation I am surprised that you don't qualify for universal credit. Have you looked in to it recently?

If your income is as low as you say, are you sure you don’t qualify for any benefits?

OP, it doesn't sound like your working t's and c's are very fair. I don't think you should be expected to be available to work but then also not get paid if your students cancel. That's such a precarious financial situation for you. Surely there can't be so many people qualified and willing to do your role that they would want to lose you? I'm just wondering if there's any scope to revisit your contract? Are you in a union?