To want one child-free day where I can do something for me?

[FunPartyIdeas]

I tutor term-time only but have a 6 yo of my own. No pay in school holidays so very limited re holidays and days out.
AIBU to want just one child-free day? Or even afternoon? Or am I being selfish in wanting that little break?

Slightly unfortunate wording there

I don’t get why you are so reluctant to explore the reciprocal play day route? At 6 you don’t have to try and be friends with the mums. The kids are old enough to stay a half day at someone else’s house without you needing to try and be friends with the parents. If you put the effort in now while you’re off, it will likely bring you freedom later on.

Also as your child gets older the ‘care’ required will be different. At 6 she’s already in the space where she could watch tv for a few hours while your husband cared for her with minimal impact re his back. It would be different if she was 2/3 and needing more physical care.

But as an employed person he has a minimum legal entitled of 20 days paid AL plus BHs.

You say you don't go away much as you can't afford it, which means he has a good few days that he can take in the school holidays to look after DD so you can have time to yourself.

Seeing as he's not done this already you need to tell him that's what needs to happen, he needs to book at least one day off during every school holiday for him to look after DD and you to have a day to yourself. Even if you go and sit in the library and read a book or wander around a free local art gallery and they stay at home and watch TV.

But also have you checked if you're entitled to UC? You might be with high rent. You might also be better off if you work longer hours especially if you can get help with the cost of wraparound care. Also if you're entitled to UC even if its a tiny amount that also gives you very cheap entry to many attractions and free school meals from September.

Also have you reviewed your spending? You might be able to shave a few pounds off here and there to free up a bit of spending money. Plus if you do things like switch your bank account for the introductory offers that can be an easy way to make a bit extra cash.

I don't get this comment? Why are you responding as if @BudgetBuster suggested you buy her a golden unicorn to transport her daily to a fairy godmother babysitter?

This is just getting bizarre now.

Not unreasonable to want an occasional day off for yourself, as long as you reciprocate with your husband or whoever is facilitating that.

It’s clearly obvious from her message that she is on her own. Why do some people feel they need to have women publicly announce that they are on their own? Is it some kind of thing that makes you feel smug?

I know. It's less than £1.50 a week and worth its weight in gold in the summer holidays.

Oh dear. Someone only read 2 posts!

If I only had DD Netflix wouldn’t be worth it. She doesn’t watch anything on there that isn’t freely available elsewhere. We do have it as ds likes hot wheels.

Keepgettingolder81

Shes not on her own?! She’s married

Her husband is severely disabled and is unable to parent safely alone.

isthisaplum

i feel like I’m reading a different thread? I didn’t see this so am sorry. Op said after I asked that he was out working? (Am so confused!!) I was replying to Keepgettingolder81
who assumed I was sticking the boot in about single mothers and that I secretly knew she didn’t when I asked did she have a dh

It was later on in the thread tbf, but he has a spinal condition.

@Morepositivemum Of course people with disabilities can work? His work have been exceptional and have made reasonable adjustments such as a riser desk, specialist chair, allowances for him to take short walk breaks when needed etc.

I think people were more confused about the OP’s ‘like we have Netflix 🤣’ reaction, as though it was a completely ludicrous suggestion and we should all know that of course she doesn’t have Netflix!

@Jaimelefromage Netflix isn't essential?! Why would I waste money when I'm struggling to find money for rent?

I think the full conversation would have been more like

‘I have spent quite a few posts explaining we have very little if indeed any spare money, every month is a struggle to make ends meet. So we don’t have Netflix as it’s a luxury we can’t currently afford.’

And yes, my DH is still working with stage IV cancer; can barely get up the stairs but is still working!

If you really want time for yourself you think you can make it work. How about a long walk somewhere scenic at the weekend?

What is it that he does for work? I assume he only works part time if he's unable to parent his child for more than half a day?

@LemonSnail Thank you. Thinking somewhere pretty with a good book sounds like heaven to me?
Will ask husband if we can find a weekend when I can go and just "be" for a whole afternoon and not be on Mummy Duty.
Off to visit my in-laws today and my 16 yo lad is joining us which is always lovely. It will be full-on, but so important to visit them and for them to see their granddaughter and one of their step grandsons. Who knows - I might even get a couple on minutes in to chat!! 😄

Yes maybe. But as the OP said that she wants to stay at home alone binge watching a series, I don’t think posters were being entirely ludicrous to assume that that meant the OP could afford at least one TV streaming service.

I didn’t say it was 🤷🏻‍♀️. In fact I don’t have it myself.

Neither do I, but there had been a fair amount of ‘OP baiting’ by that point and people do reach a point where they become a bit defensive.

You could start small and not make a big deal of it. Hey just to let you know on Sunday afternoon I’m heading out to read my book by the lake at xxx place.

My DH can’t even parent for ten minutes and is working full time.