To want one child-free day where I can do something for me?

[FunPartyIdeas]

I tutor term-time only but have a 6 yo of my own. No pay in school holidays so very limited re holidays and days out.
AIBU to want just one child-free day? Or even afternoon? Or am I being selfish in wanting that little break?

Is it that you’re at home with 6yo all the time school holidays and. Dh is in work?

Assuming you are a single parent so no partner to take over.
Organise a play date so your kid can be with a friend. Obviously return the favour later.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unusual - is the Dad not in the picture at all? Or play dates with school friends? I’m not the most sociable at the school gates but I would still expect to host a 6 year old’s friends a few times over the summer and that be reciprocated, which obviously then means a few half days “off”.
Is there no one you can invite round to play?

No you are not being selfish.

How can you achieve this? Do you have another mum who you could swap a day with, you do for her / she does for you?

It is essential that you have some down time!

(I am typing from in bed - absolutely cream crackers and treating myself to a 'day off'.)

@Morepositivemum He is, but of course he has to work to help pay the rent and bills.
I think i just feel I never get a true break iyswim?

Are you a single parent?

If so maybe play dates etc so you get reciprocation?

If not then the answer is obvious - your partner needs to give you some time at weekends.

Or in either case, is the odd day of holiday club beyond your and your partner’s means?

Absolutely not being unreasonable. When I was married I asked for my birthday one year just be alone in the house for a day. SP now and I live the autonomy and peace when dcs are with their dad. It doesn't make you a bad parent to remember you were a person first and still have an identity that is not mum. Practicalities of how you achieve that are obviously situational but YANBU to want it.

Cross posted - he needs to give you some time at weekends.

Or pay from joint funds for the odd holiday club day - he’s both of your child after all.

Of course you should have time off! Make it happen, you deserve it! ❤️

Can’t DH take a days holiday and you can go off and do whatever you fancy for the day?

But surely he has plenty days off work where you can have a day to yourself?

@something2say I'm an older mum (45) so my friends have all got much older/adult children now. I do have one friend with a child the same age as my daughter but she works ft. Sometimes I have her little one to help her out which I don't mind at all, but obviously she can't return the favour.

He's surely not working 7 days a week 365 days a year though?

What does he use annual leave for? Why aren't you getting a break at weekends?

Well unless he’s self employed then he has paid leave which he can take and spend with DC and give you time. Or there’s weekends when he can give you a day.

So unless you married a man without hands you shouldn’t have an issue?

I know what you mean op but unfortunately in holiday time none of us get a break then yes, same back to school because you work when they’re in school. Definitely have a friend of your child over then get them to their house another time!! !

But on weekends or days off? You don’t both take a few hours on your own sometimes?

@BudgetBuster Annual leave he takes for family holidays.
He does do some things with LO at weekends, but then he says he hasn't had a break either! I mean he will take her to the park for a few hours - so perhaps I am expecting too much?

@Thistimearound I work term-time so can't take time off work then. Moreover I wouldn't be able to afford to as don't get paid if I'm not working.

Of course you should have some occasional child free time, especially if your child is 6. I regularly get time to myself, as does my DH. What is your partner doing when they arent working? Why can't you plan something for yourself?

@onmylastnerveseriously He does do a few hours here and there at weekends. We very rarely have time just us as not really possible.
I am looking forward very much to back to work 😀

Could you afford a summer club/workshop for one day? My DCs went along to a drama club for two days, it was about £35 each per day and was 9-4pm. It was so lovely for me to have a couple of days in the house by myself - I just binged watched Louis Theroux and ate toast.

Can you afford some holiday club days for the 6 year old ? Surely a positive for him as well as a needed break for you?

At this age I would recommend building a network of fellow parents so you can swap play dates.

It's important for uoi but also I think a 6 year old needs time away from you playing with kids over summer ?

@Thingsthatgo Unfortunately not as I don't get paid at all over any of the school holidays. I'm already stressing about paying the rent and bills this month on top of keeping the little one amused.
That would be my idea of heaven!!!

So you both agree to carve out breaks for eachother? E.g. he has your child all Saturday 9-5 and he gets the following Saturday child free. It doesn't have to be full days or every week but you both get a bit of a break to do what you want.

For next year, are you qualified to do exam marking?

I couldn't afford summer without it (single parent).