Asked DP to leave over A-Levels comment to my DS

[JaneeeAmb]

It has been an incredibly stressful and upsetting day. DS18 unfortunately didn’t recieve the results he needed. Lots of tears from both of us. My DP of 2 years arrived home after work (he stays here every Thursday) and knew about the results. He didn’t offer DS any consolation. At dinner he asked him if his mates would be going out tonight, he said yes but that he didn’t feel up for joining them. DP then said ‘best thing for you tonight would be a few beers and finding yourself a local tart’.

I went mental at him, completely inappropriate. He doubled down so I asked him to leave, which he did. DS says he thinks I over reacted and says he wasn’t offended at all and he thinks he was just trying to lighten the mood.

I am now sat here wondering if I over reacted?

Do people really talk like this? It's only on MN do I ever see people talking about finding tarts and getting a brass.

If this is real then that comment is not appropriate, however I do agree that maybe he should have gone out with his mates rather than moping.

I hope you can come up with a plan to help your son - the school/college he was at should also be able to offer advice.

I dunno. I am in my 70's and I remember the countdown in the Sun to Sam Fox being "legal" in 1983. Not everybody laughed or approved of it but quite a few did. Go back and look at 60's and 70's humour. Yes it was wrong and quite a few of us didn't tolerate it but 100 years ago? nope. The film "Notting Hill" was released in 1999 and the "lads" comments in the restaurant scene was definitely recognisable of its time. People still buy strippers of both sexes for parties. Again its grim but don't labour under the misapprehension that its all historical.

He choice of words are poor, but this isn't the issue, and you've clearly heard this before.. I think you owe him an apology, and he should be wary of your temperament.

How do you know he has said simikar to the OP before?

Unlikely this type of misogynistic comment is out of the blue. I could be wrong.