AIBU to want us to move to Australia in later life?

[OneFedUpFarmersWife]

First time poster. I will give some context for this post. Been married to my DH for 31 years we have a 30 year old DD. This is my second marriage and I have two DD from that relationship. I am 70 and my DH is 74. He is a farmer on a tenanted farm and his family have been here over 100 years. My eldest DD emigrated to Australia 9 years ago and has a great life. I was heart broken when she went taking my two GDC with her ( kids are now14 and 10) I try to get over every year to see them and I love Australia, My youngest DH and her husband have said that they are looking to get a visa to emigrate. My heart dropped but I told her she should try as it’s a great place for kids and it’s something I would have done given the chance. I have told my DH that I want us to emigrate too and he’s said ‘no’ without any discussion. I have lived abroad before so the thought of moving to another country does not faze me. My DH has always lived in this house. He’s a bit selfish to be honest. We had discussed him retiring as I would like to move to our other house which will be much easier to maintain. I’m starting to worry a bit that something may happen to him and I’ll be left with this farm to sort out and live in this big house till I can move. He doesn’t seem to be bothered. He decided not to retire without discussion as he likes farming. I want to go to Australia to spend what time we’ve got left with my DDs. I couldn’t bare the thought of the youngest going. AIBU to want us both to emigrate?

I’m not talking about the cold

you said you wanted a new kitchen
have you never discussed this with your husband or did he do as he initially did when you proposes the big move and he’s said ‘no’ without any discussion.

You do grasp that he would be pushing 80 by the time he would be stepping through the front door to his Australian home if he said “hell yes let’s go” this afternoon?

Well this shows you know nothing at all about farmering. Who is going to feed all the animals morning and afternoon for 3 or 4 weeks? Who’s going to look after the dogs? Who is going to be around when a cow carves in the middle of the night and has a problem. Who is going to keep their eyes open for our quad bike? It’s totally different when it’s summer and everything is outside grazing but who wants to go to Melbourne in the summer? We’ve been on some lovely summer holidays

Who’s looked after them for all the other times you’ve been away?

or he’s only ever travelled for a week at a time?

DH doesn’t like flying
and you went on holiday when you first got together with him three decades ago Although we did go on holiday when we first got together DH has decided he doesn’t like flying. So I go on holiday a lot on my own

is what you say here

So you make out he’s been on lots of lovely summer holidays with you in recent posts
forgetting up thread you said he “hates flying”, you holiday mainly alone and only went on holiday at the start “when we first got together ”

you are losing track of your own thread Op has

I’ve got a new kitchen, in fact I’ve had 2 in 30 years!! Have you ever tried to fit a lovely new kitchen in a house that’s over 500 years old? No straight walls and no even floors? I mean a beautiful streamlined kitchen with fitted ovens and fridge and an island! I’ll never be able to have that in an old farmhouse. Don’t get me wrong, there’s many people would give their right arm to live in my house, no neighbours, views over the fells and situated in the Lake District National Park but I’d like a change. Oh no. Now people are going to say you’ll never get that old wreck to leave that farmhouse. I can’t win

How long have you wanted a change from the farmhouse?

No I’m not. I have four or five holidays a year. Not always 2 weeks but I do go away a lot. We have been on some lovely holidays together too, he doesn’t like flying but he will go for me (shock) Two years ago we went to Capri, he’s been to Germany a good few times and he’s also been to Canada and the Maldives. And as I’ve said we had 2 weeks in Greece. I don’t have to keep track of this thread as I don’t tell porkies.

As I do. A lot. I like my own company. It’s not a crime.

I don’t know, it’s kind of crept on. A lot of people fancy a change of property. What’s the matter with that?

Op look back at that post where you very very clearly say that you used to go on holiday with DH at the start of your relationship (30 years ago) but HE said HE didn’t like flying so you then say you mainly holiday alone with with your daughter.

So not only has he never been to Australia
he also doesn’t like to fly
and he hasn’t been on many holidays with you at all since thirty years ago

Absolutely nothing wrong with that

ever mentioned to your husband that you’d like to move house?

This thread is becoming boring with the majority of posters having a problem with my wanting to relocate IF MY DD GETS A VISA and WITH MY DH. Knock yourselves out. Thanks to the few who showed a bit of support. This will be my last post

He decided not to retire without discussion as he likes farming

so he’s not even up for giving up farming letting alone moving to Australia

No one has any issue whatsoever with whatever you doing the heck you like. Go for it. Your 75 year old born and bred farmer who doesn’t want to retire, never been to Australia and doesn’t like flying - won’t be joining you

Yes, I think it's wise you step away at this point.

OP you sound lovely . To me the perfect compromise would be living there for 5/6 months à year if that could work . I really hope it all works out well for all of you.

I am so glad you are no longer posting and I mean that in a supportive way. Everything you are saying is being twisted and picked on continually. If you do happen to come back to this thread I wish you loads of luck and hope you get to live your dream.

I wish you all the best.

To be clear, there are absolutely no issues about you wanting to live in Australia near your daughters.

I just think you are going to need to go alone. If I was you then I would do that if your options are to remain tied to a farmer who refuses to retire or live out your remaining years where you really want to be. Life is too short for that if it's not in your blood.

I hope your daughter gets her visa and loves the life as much as her sister.

All posters are saying is basically - go for it! But don’t expect your husband to cave and join you

Not one single poster has any issue with you going to Australia.

It’s apparently getting increasingly difficult to emigrate there. They have tightened up their rules.