AIBU to stop always moving aside for people in public?

[Clara1984]

I know that I can’t be the only one this happens to but Jesus Christ, today I’ve had enough I’m usually the one moving out of the way of other people but today I decided to conduct a little experiment… people can move for me for a change, I’m hot, tired and got a sore foot and things didn’t go well lol
on about number 16 shoulder barge!
Im not talking about deliberately getting in people’s way, just holding my line, someone will appear from around a corner and expect me to move, but today I didn’t and bang, we have impact! I’m actually astonished how often it’s happened and didn’t realise how passive I have been up until today.
To be honest, I probably won’t be repeating it, as I’ve found it really stressful. Will just go back to tutting and saying “ don’t worry I will move “ under my breath.
Not even sure what my AIBU is, just wanted to rant as I’m pissed off with rude entitled people everywhere!!

Depends how much you do it. DH would walk in a ditch when he could just move a tiny bit. Some people don't move at all which is a bit rude. They should at least pretend to make an effort. Just don't sink to their level. Be above that.

I just act early and decisively and then the other person normally follows my lead. I always move to the side furthest from the kerb, so that the couple strolling towards me holding hands has to decide whether to go single file or one of them walk in the road, rather than forcing ME into the road. If the person/people approaching are engrossed in their phone and don’t notice me then I wait until they’re a few feet away before yelling “EYES UP!” and that usually startles them into action.

You weren't psssive before, you just weren’t an asshole. Now you’ve joined the throngs with their boundaries and rights and why should I to further help make this lovely world that little bit shittier!!!

I've noticed this. People don't move for you anymore, none of that you go first, no you politeness anymore. Just barge thorough. Or worse.... barge through with a fake sorrrreeeee but with no intention of waiting

It's rude, entitled behaviour and i see it more and more.

I've tried holding my line too now.

Love it!! 🤣🤣

This seems a bit mad. So you've gone from meekly stepping aside every time someone approaches you to doing the exact thing you complain about other people doing, to the point of actually having multiple physical impacts?

Why not just do what most people do and sometimes deviate slightly from your line to facilitate other people? I live in an area of spectacularly narrow footpaths (only one person wide in some places, and as the road is also narrow and busy. you are stepping into traffic if you step off the footpath) and generally find other people very considerate. I would say the majority of the time the other person deviates, even though I'm also perfectly prepared to.

I find that if you stand still people move round you. I rarely get bumped into when I am stationary.

Obviously, you won't progress very far if you just stand still, but in overwhelming crowds it can be useful, or if you can see there isn't enough room on the path ahead for both of you.

I don't think deliberately barging other people is the way to go though. I think I would rather keep moving out the way than do that.

Exactly this, one or two rude people wouldn’t register, but it seems to be most people now. My problem is I’m ultra polite and hated today because I felt rude even though I wasn’t.

I will quite happily give way to the frail, the elderly, people in wheelchairs, people herding small children and so on.

I don't much like giving way to men (and it is usually men) who march straight at you and expect you to leap out of their way.

I think standing still is a good option.
My pet hate is people who shout " excuse me ' when their actions indicate that " coming through ' is correct expression.
No pause , just ' excuse me ' and barge.

Just want to make it clear, I wasn’t deliberately walking into people or being bolshy, if I was walking and someone coming towards me who veered into my path, I didn’t move like I normally do, I held my line and that’s when we collided.

I don't think there's anything 'ultra polite' about leaping out of the way every time you see someone approaching, especially if you're seething with resentment all the time.

i was once walking along a footpath, narrow, just fits 2 people side by side. Two women were walking towards me side by side so I did what a previous poster said - I basically walked on the side furthest from the kerb. As they got closer they were still side by side so I slowed until I was stopped so they were forced to walk round me, Cheeky mare tutted at me. I don’t know where she expected me to go when there was a wall to my right

I was going to say similar, but to add that even slowing your pace can have the same effect. Often the person walking faster will automatically make room in a dodging-around-an-obstacle type of manoever.

@Clara1984 i understand what you're saying, why is it you that has to move out of the way.

This is known as manslamming and was very popular a few years ago in response to academic papers showing that women subconsciously get out of the way for men far more than men get out of the way for women.

YANBU
I read a tip on here, and that was when you see a person/people coming towards you and you don't think they will move.... just stand still. They will go around you.

It isn’t really mad, I was just interested to see what would happen if I didn’t and I got my answer. There used to be give and take, people would move aside a little and you would do the same but now it seems that is in the past.

I first experimented with this a few years ago, IIRC there was an article in the newspaper, an observation about how crowded London pavements were and how many men walked as if they expected the Red Sea to part in front of them; and how it was predominantly women who would be that parting sea. It made me realise that I continuously (and subconsciously) alter my path in favour of oncoming pedestrians.

My first try-out was on a fairly narrow pavement, further narrowed by scaffolding, and two huge brick-shithouses walking side-by-side bearing down on me. Rather than step into the road, I just stopped dead when they were about six feet from me. They looked a bit startled, but moved apart and passed on either side of me. Result !

Apparently people are more likely to give way if they perceive you are not looking at them, so look into the distance rather than at the oncoming flow. And, if they continue to bear down on you - stand still. Be the rock in the river that they must flow around. It has worked for me so far.

I will give way to those I consider need way given - elderly, crutches, wheelchairs, parents holding children, prams etc. But an able-bodied adult heading straight for me - no. If they don't do that subtle shift that people do when they're adjusting their path to pass cleanly, then neither will I.

I’ve always called this patriarchy chicken, as it’s usually men who expect me to move for them. Anyway, when playing, I don’t move aside at all, and just stop dead in front of them and wait for them to go around if they haven’t before we’re about to collide.

The other day I was running on a footpath wide enough for three abreast. Three people walking abreast were walking towards me, they had grass verge on their side, I had a river on my side. Not one of them dropped back, I ended up stopping and the person nearest to me shoulder-slammed me and then shouted at me! I was standing still! Good job I'm fat or I'd have gone in.

I do actually have to stop quite regularly when people are walking abreast. It's mad. If it's narrow and people are being normal, I'm happy to drop to a walk or step on a verge or whatever, so it's not like I'm just barrelling on. Drives me mad.

Thank you! I knew there was a word for it, just couldn't remember it.