AIBU to stop always moving aside for people in public?

[Clara1984]

I know that I can’t be the only one this happens to but Jesus Christ, today I’ve had enough I’m usually the one moving out of the way of other people but today I decided to conduct a little experiment… people can move for me for a change, I’m hot, tired and got a sore foot and things didn’t go well lol
on about number 16 shoulder barge!
Im not talking about deliberately getting in people’s way, just holding my line, someone will appear from around a corner and expect me to move, but today I didn’t and bang, we have impact! I’m actually astonished how often it’s happened and didn’t realise how passive I have been up until today.
To be honest, I probably won’t be repeating it, as I’ve found it really stressful. Will just go back to tutting and saying “ don’t worry I will move “ under my breath.
Not even sure what my AIBU is, just wanted to rant as I’m pissed off with rude entitled people everywhere!!

Disagree. For me it is 99% men.

They also start getting aggressive if I just stop and stand my ground or point out that I am carrying heavy shopping bag and I should not be the one expected to move...

There's the most amazing woman who lives near me, she's a childminder and has a whole bevy of children she looks after. They are so well drilled!

I got sick of always being the one to move out of the way and often into the road so now I just don't.

Most of the time I just stop dead which seems to confuse a lot of people. The couples who can't possibly walk without holding each others' hand and the idiots glued to their phone screen are the ones that annoy me the most.

To paraphrase Roy Keane, when things aren’t going my way, when I’m not at the races “I might just smash into someone…. just to make me feel better”.

Yes 100%. I use it all the time in central London. It even works most of the time on Oxford St. The other day I walked the whole length of Regent’s St without having to break my stride by walking decisively looking straight ahead. If you are walking fast with purpose it is surprisingly effective.

The problem in central London isn’t bumping into people walking towards you, though, it’s navigating around slowly-moving tourists, especially in large groups, who are moving in the same direction. Deep desire to try to impose something akin to tube escalator rules: ‘Dawdlers single file as close to the wall as possible!’

My teen is blind and a long-cane user. It is simply incredible the number of people who jump over her cane or try to force her into the gutter, mainly codependent couples who can’t bear not to hold hands for a nano-second. It’s taken years of me training her to stand her ground and to use her cane more assertively. We live in a tourist town with narrow pavements and my big bugbear is dogs on long leads. Again, I have trained both of my children to hold fast on the pavement side of a road rather than being forced off the kerb so the dog stays safe. Personally, I am now an invisible middle-aged woman so I am constantly barged in shops by people with backpacks. On pavements, I now stop dead and force the hand-holders and other rude people to move around me. They are welcome to barge me and my shopping bag with its secret brick (Joke). My days of stepping into the paths of cars to accommodate other folk with either zero spatial awareness or zero consideration for anyone else are over.

I don't mind moving out of one person's way, but I find annoying:

• people walking two or three abreast who don't go into single file to pass you, including parents with children - they should walk behind their children to pass
• people weaving about in the middle of the pavement staring at their phone
• people who stand still to look at their phone in stupid places, like the top of an escalator
• people who stand still to have a conversation in stupid places, like the top of an escalator

It's a shame everyone isn't as thoughtful. There are lovely people in this World. Manners cost nothing but they make everyone's life that little bit better.

They fully expect me to move as an invisible, little older lady. I play chicken or just stop dead, but I do need my shoulder blades. Ditto giving older people time to move out of the super market and someone really busy and important barding past the whole little stream of people trailing behind them.

I sympathise with you. I've always got out of peolpe's way and waited patiently. Very rarely do they even notice.
So I also decided to try to change (although I don't actually mind waiting for others) as always giving way takes a lot of time .
I'm talking about central London, btw. I find the worst places are the big central railway stations. London Bridge is the worst imo, and Liverpool Street pretty shocking and St Pancras.
I think there's a skill to this:
You need to kind of defocus your gaze , so that you aren't clearly registering the oncoming person/s. Then you need to walk much faster than normal in a straight line, with a kind of angry look on your face.😂
I find that if I do that, then people do get out of my way and I get to my destination quicker.
But I don't keep it up for long. It doesn't come naturally.
I think you need to work in your technique @Clara1984

Just read this post and it's exactly the same as what I've discovered (see my post above).
Clearly,it's the answer!

I’ve got a RBF and walk with purpose and don’t make eye contact so I rarely get a problem, I have sat and watched people walking by and I’ve noticed men expect to be given way to.

@Clara1984 I know what you mean. I once had a stand off with a woman when I was heavily pregnant.

Since then I have found the solution for me: I have to pretend I am occupied and am not looking forward. I am looking down, or, if am with someone I am looking at them or looking across the road - then - so far - everybody has given way. I think they have not felt challenged?

My DH does this, will move out of the way for the thickest, most self-obsessed oblivious twat, be on the pavement, in shops, and when driving, he'd go in a ditch to give way to those in larger vehicles who don't want to move over by an inch. Drives me mad. He is very polite and lovely, but the more people like him give way to these twats the more they expect it as their right. I am the opposite, although of course not with the elderly (well, more elderly than me), disabled people etc but can't be doing with those who block pavements, supermarket aisles, stop in doorways for a chat etc as if nobody else existed.

A dropped left shoulder normally sorts out the pavement hoggers/bargers.

I’ve become a swimmer at my local pool recently (4 mths). I was crazy polite to everyone but was just getting pushed out of lanes and not getting my swim. Now I take zero shit. I get my lane and I will not move for anyone - no matter what - until I’ve done my swim. The only people that try and push me out - and it’s almost daily- are men. I almost look forward to it now because not matter how much they physically try to push me out I keep swimming in my lane and will not budge. They always leave quite quickly in a huff. It’s been extremely eye opening. I never realised before what bullies men can be. Fuckers

I think the problem is if you want someone to move or let you have a seat or whatever you can't rely on it being people's natural response anymore. But if you ask, most will snap out of their trance and comply with your request.

I absolutely understand what you're talking about OP. I find it fascinating that people no longer accommodate eachother.

For me the worst is the school run. Like you I realised I'm always stepping off the curb into the road to allow people to pass. Sometimes the person will say thank you, but more often than not, it's like I'm completely invisible.

It has become like a game of chicken for me. I might try the stopping thing. Trouble is, if everybody is conducting their own experiment none of us will get very far! 😂