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AIBU?

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Husbands behaviour on holiday WWYD - sick of it

232 replies

encour · 11/08/2026 13:00

5th day of our holiday today. DH insisted we book onto an activity starting at 730am. We both got about 2 hours sleep last night (combination of heat, jet lag and adjusting to time zone).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning, got ready and got to activity. Did it willingly even though it’s not my thing at all. DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired, but he said I was in the way of someone else waiting to do the activity, when I was actually doing the activity - he said ‘your in the way” and it was my turn!!!!). I backed off, and walked away and he said to me oh here we go this again, let’s not do this. Thought I’d just shut up and get on with it because we’re on holiday.

Tried just chatting on the way back from the activity but got one word, blunt answers so gave up.

Then he wanted food, but said the heat had made the lunch I prepared and packed for him “go bad” (we’d been out 1.5 hours and it was in a cool box) so he wanted to go out. I asked where he wanted to go. He was looking, getting really irritated and saying he was hungry, I told him to pick anywhere and I’d go with him. He said I needed to pick - but I wasn’t hungry? I said honestly anywhere. He got offended when I just wanted a small plate and was huffing and puffing.

Then we saw a place of worship (my religion, not his) and I asked if it was ok if I went in. He came with me. I was looking at the altar and he pointed something out, but I couldn’t see it, he was getting really irritated and then physically pushed my head down to see it. I told him not to do that, and turned around and saw a group of people looking at us, could feel the tears coming but held them back.

Then he was complaining about everything and I said I’m happy to do what you want to do, which attracted eye rolls.

Because of the heat he’s asked to come back to the villa. Now he’s being really nice asking for a cuddle whilst he naps?

WWYD? I’ve got another 3 weeks of this. Had doubts before the holiday about the relationship (too long to go into), but the head pushing feels very nasty. He’s got form for this on holiday, telling me I was wearing local dress wrong and pulled an item off me in front of onlookers.

OP posts:
Nurse08 · 11/08/2026 18:26

🚩.that's all

GreyBeeplus3 · 11/08/2026 18:31

@encour
I wouldn't say he hates you; he married you after all, but he did marry you seeing you as the "lesser" in your so-called relationship/marriage I feel
But his once hidden contempt of you has grown and is showing signs of ridicule and hate more than ever now
He's a arrogant demanding bully and what if it didn't stay just verbal? so
Grit your teeth
Get through the "holiday"
And work out how to leave him

Minasama · 11/08/2026 18:34

Holidays are always stressful for the first couple of days. Clearly he shouldn’t be pushing your head, maybe have a chat with him about that.

MissSold · 11/08/2026 18:40

He sounds abusive. But, you know this.

Sooose · 11/08/2026 18:56

I'm one for trying to see the other side and give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this instance I can see no point in doing so. I'm with 100% of PPs.

Doteycat · 11/08/2026 18:58

Minasama · 11/08/2026 18:34

Holidays are always stressful for the first couple of days. Clearly he shouldn’t be pushing your head, maybe have a chat with him about that.

No they are not.
Ive been on tonnes and tonnes of holidays and never once has my dh abused me.
Stop making excuses for it.
Maybe have a chat? Seriously. What kind of advise is that.

MoveAwaySausage · 11/08/2026 19:02

He sounds like a horrible arsehole.

CheeryOP · 11/08/2026 19:03

You deserve better.

Scrubwren · 11/08/2026 19:04

Minasama · 11/08/2026 18:34

Holidays are always stressful for the first couple of days. Clearly he shouldn’t be pushing your head, maybe have a chat with him about that.

If you think any of what the OP describes is either acceptable or explicable as ordinary ‘holiday stress’, I think you should take a hard look at your own relationship and standards, @Minasama.

ThatCyanCat · 11/08/2026 19:11

Go back to your place of worship and pray for the strength to ditch this arsehole who will make you miserable all your life.

PleaseDontTreadOnTheDaisies · 11/08/2026 19:17

If you're the poster who started the thread about him pulling the head scarf off you in public, then YABVU to still be with this man. I know it's not easy to leave these men, but he is very abusive to you. Why would you think his behaviour would be any different to your last holiday with him. Are you financially dependent on him?

Laurmolonlabe · 11/08/2026 19:32

He's abusive- he gets help or he has to leave- his choice.

Bufftailed · 11/08/2026 19:33

He sounds awful. Worse than a bad teenager. Do your own thing?

PinkyFlamingo · 11/08/2026 19:34

encour · 11/08/2026 17:06

I don’t have the money to fly back, it’s thousands of pounds for a flight.

when I say he pushed my head, it wasn’t a violent shove, it was a jolt forward as I was looking down.

I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor

That's you starting to make excuses for him. Not good.

writingsonthewall · 11/08/2026 19:37

I clicked you are being unreasonable by accident. He sounds awful

Arrivederla · 11/08/2026 19:45

writingsonthewall · 11/08/2026 19:37

I clicked you are being unreasonable by accident. He sounds awful

You can change that by just clicking on the 'not' response.

He sounds unbearable op

Victorius19 · 11/08/2026 19:51

Is there a rep at the hotel you're staying at? I would have a quiet word if so and see if they can help change your flight booking.

Marieb19 · 11/08/2026 19:58

You are married to an abusive narcissist and it sounds like his behaviour is becoming violent. Can you actually talk to this bully or are you too scared? Could you book a return flight and pay for it on a credit card? I would urge you to get out of there and get out of this toxic relationship

THEDEACON · 11/08/2026 20:07

He is an abuser make plans to make him your ex

Calliopespa · 11/08/2026 20:38

I'm sorry OP. This sounds horrible.

I agree this marriage sounds unhealthy and I would leave before children are on the scene.

I realise you need a strategy for managing the rest of the holiday. I would personally just pack and go home, but I have the feeling he will have made you feel too intimidated to try this sort of strong statement. Do you have someone safe to go to if you did?

Doubledenim305 · 11/08/2026 20:39

Abuser. 💯. No question.
Pack up and go home.never see him again..

samqueens · 11/08/2026 21:02

Do not get pregnant…
I repeat: DO NOT GET PREGNANT
Your self esteem certainly won’t improve as long as this guy is in your life. It may not improve after, but at least then you’ll only have one thing to tackle. He will ONLY drag you down.
Get through the holiday and then get out.

Katigee410 · 11/08/2026 21:02

This sounds like underlying issues, at the least I think counselling, holiday should be your happy time and it sounds like you have to talk, dare I say consider your situation together

DanaScullysLegoHair · 11/08/2026 21:20

encour · 11/08/2026 17:06

I don’t have the money to fly back, it’s thousands of pounds for a flight.

when I say he pushed my head, it wasn’t a violent shove, it was a jolt forward as I was looking down.

I know he doesn’t like me, my self esteem is on the floor

I haven't read the full thread after your update so I KNOW others will say what I immediately thought.

You're doing the mental gymnastics amd minimising already. Your original post seemed a thinly veiled cry for help.

You KNOW it isn't right. Don't allow this to continue. It doesn't matter what he says and does, the times that he DOES do these things is really what he is.

It doesn't get better, only worse.

You can be calm again and have a wonderful life away from this 'man'.

pimplebum · 11/08/2026 21:25

DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired,

this stood out to me , it is NOT ok for a grown man to be short with you. A toddler yes , partner no . You were not grumpy with him

leave him stay on holiday, get a different room / hotel and change your seat on the plane

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