AIBU to be annoyed guests announced vegan diets on arrival?

[Wtafdidido]

Wtafdidido · Today 11:27
I have guests. They have stayed before. No dietary requirements and no food dislikes. To accommodate them my child has to vacate her bedroom and spend the week on an airbed in our room which she very kindly does. Anyway guests have arrived and I have shopped, meal planned and prepared lunch, homemade quiche etc . They have now said “since we last visited we have both become vegetarian and dairy free as it is healthier” - so basically vegan. I am so annoyed. Had I been given the heads up I could have prepared and shopped accordingly . Aibu to be hacked off and have said that given their failure to let me know I won’t be able to accommodate that but can use what I have bought and minimise the amount of meat or they can shop for their own supplies and cook for us all? To be clear had I known in advance I would have accommodated their dietary fads. To be clear there is no medical grounds for any of this. They were already getting a week of free food and board and as we live in a very desirable holiday location would have been paying in the region of £800 to book an air BnB. They are not really family either and have in the past been ok guests though last time they were bemused I had not taken A week off to entertain them and take them places.

You handled it perfectly. No need for more input! I will say though: not sure if rage bait, but it isn't a fad. Humans were slowly conditioned to eat more and more food to make the food industry owners richer. We're kept fattened up and dulled with chemicals to keep us docile and obedient. Just facts. We eat too much meat and not meant to have dairy anyway. It's positive that they made this change and will massively support their health. Especially as they get older.

OP as you have seen most people see them as CFs, the vast majority as very inconsiderate. It absolutely SHOULD annoy you. They can go and buy some vegan food to fit with your plans.

I would just tell them what you are cooking each day and if they want to add to anything, they'd best pop off to the supermarket. Such as you're doing a roast dinner, they can go get a meat substitute if they like that kind of thing but have all the vegetables, ditto BBQ or whatever. I am vegetarian and I would a, tell someone in advance and b, if allowed sort out my own. I would hate to put anyone out.

It is really rude, esp when you've cooked things from scratch, a quiche is very good!

This!! Don’t let them freeload anymore!!!

I had a colleague come to stay once who had a very restricted diet - no tomatoes, no meat, etc I'd planned and prepared for meals that met her requirements, were healthy and tasty, and satisfied my hungry husband. When she turned up she said: "Oh I've been eating all kinds of things off-plan, so while I'm with you I'm going to re-set and just eat fruit 😱I was blunt and told her how much effort I'd gone to and that she was welcome to 're-set' 4 days later once she was home.

Glad I did since she was happily scoffing crisps and cider in the pub that evening.

I would just tell them what you are cooking each day and if they want to add to anything, they'd best pop off to the supermarket.

She did tell them that!

'I have suggested they look at the meal plan I have made and make a list of what they need to adapt it to their needs so they can go to the supermarket and buy what is needed. I think they were a little surprised.'

tell them they have to feed themselves as you did not plan for specialised diets.

Given your update, they are absolute bastards. Let them buy and cook their own food.

We have guests coming who invited themselves with a sob story about family problems and they need a break. They have difficult dietary requirements for medical reasons, and although they will say oh don’t worry about the food, they bloody will make a fuss if it’s not right. And it’s for 10 days stay. At least I know before they stay. But it won’t be easy.

I would tell your guests that they should've told you and it’s too late now, they will have to fit in.

people are such a pain !

Well done for sending them to the supermarket. Some people are idiots. Sorry to hear that you are undergoing treatment, if I was visiting you I would be bringing the food myself and doing all the cooking in order to give you a break!

This

yup, you can get vegan chocolate and vegan cake....vegan wine and spirits, vegan white sugar....

Rude rude rude. Do not let them stay again. Is it too late to give them the blow up bed???

"To accommodate them my child has to vacate her bedroom and spend the week on an airbed in our room" is neither here nor there if that's what you suggested/agreed to.

It's relevant because preparing for and hosting guests is work. And this is part of it. Along with planning meals and shopping for and preparing them. It's very rude to have a sudden significant dietary change like this and let your host waste a load of time, effort and money on food you then refuse to eat.

OP, sounds like you've steered a sensible course between flounce and doormat. My sympathies.

Who actually goes and stays with someone for a week knowing they are ill and then expecting all food provided? It’s extraordinary! They might not be suitable to help dd if needed. They are too self absorbed.

This is totally unacceptable behaviour from your guests, especially knowing your health condition. I would not be putting myself out to cater for their latest fad.

They are massively taking the pxss. Do you deserve the sort of punishment and disrespect they are providing? I bet you don't. It takes courage to challenge people like them, but use them as practice and see how it feels, you'll get better at it and then you'll stop attracting this particular life lesson in future.. The guests sound extremely thick skinned and insensitive and I'm sure they can take whatever you dish out to them.

Sounds like they wanted to eat out and so did it on purpose.

They could have just said upfront they’d rather eat out.

"oh ok, I am not really used to preparing vegan food/recipes, so unless you want to survive all week on the veg sides I have bought, perhaps best for you sort out some shopping for the ingredients you need and you can prepare for yourself"

Yes I have done this a few times too. Lifelong vegetarian, but when an elderly friend of my grandmother had made me a shepherd's pie I was not going to be rude enough to say I'll just eat the mash... The stomach cramps after weren't great, but still better than upsetting someone who had tried really hard to do something nice for me.

Edited to say I'm sorry to hear about your ill health. I'm recovering from cancer treatment at present and it really isn't fun.

No it doesn't. She's speaking factually.

You sound incredibly tolerant, hope they turn out to be great godparents to your children and sending you loads of support x

We will make this work as my children are going to need these people in their lives for support in the not too distant future
I know this isn't the theme of the thread but it seems to hint that something very sad is likely to happen, I really hope you are going to be okay @Wtafdidido

That is really shockingly bad manners. It happenened to me at just one evening meal when I had asked the guests for any special likes or dislikes and one announced this when they arrived! I made her an omelette as she was not vegan but it was extra work and irritating. Why are they staying with you as in a hotel? Sounds very uncomfortable to me unless they are great friends and it's reciprocal in some way. Best work out some way to share the shopping and cooking. If they don't have a medical reason and you both can compromise that is best. After they have left review whether or not you want to have them stay so long again or perhaps not at all.

Yes they should have told you!! Put what you can in the freezer so you don’t waste any meat/dairy. I would use what I have to make meals up and expect them to buy items to top up what you already have available.

Vegetarian meals are not too difficult but vegan meals add an extra layer of difficulty if you are not prepared!