AIBU to be annoyed guests announced vegan diets on arrival?

[Wtafdidido]

Wtafdidido · Today 11:27
I have guests. They have stayed before. No dietary requirements and no food dislikes. To accommodate them my child has to vacate her bedroom and spend the week on an airbed in our room which she very kindly does. Anyway guests have arrived and I have shopped, meal planned and prepared lunch, homemade quiche etc . They have now said “since we last visited we have both become vegetarian and dairy free as it is healthier” - so basically vegan. I am so annoyed. Had I been given the heads up I could have prepared and shopped accordingly . Aibu to be hacked off and have said that given their failure to let me know I won’t be able to accommodate that but can use what I have bought and minimise the amount of meat or they can shop for their own supplies and cook for us all? To be clear had I known in advance I would have accommodated their dietary fads. To be clear there is no medical grounds for any of this. They were already getting a week of free food and board and as we live in a very desirable holiday location would have been paying in the region of £800 to book an air BnB. They are not really family either and have in the past been ok guests though last time they were bemused I had not taken A week off to entertain them and take them places.

I am unable to work at the moment due to ongoing side effects of cancer treatment.

How exceptionally selfish of them to not even mention it ahead of time. Have they actually supported you at all during your treatment? Do they actually have the capacity to support your DC or is it all lip service?

I don’t eat meat. I never mention it. I just manage with what’s on offer ( I just have the veg or whatever ) I’d just say sorry this what Îve got in/ made. If you need anything else the supermarket is just up the road .

Ridiculous behaviour! Honestly, who does this??

I think OP you stood up to them very well under the circumstances and were more than reasonable to hand them the meal plan...

I hope they take you up on the offer and help out. And do some of the cooking themselves as you have been unwell or take the DC out on one of their trips so that you can have a rest. x

Mea culpa, I am usually pretty good at reading OP's posts before responding.
What I said wasn't offensive or that misguided though.

They're taking the piss. The fact they've told you after they arrived is a disgrace. Even telling you beforehand would be a pisstake with the extra expense, but at least you'd know. But to rock up and then announce it. Ugh. And not even family.

I can't believe 2% think you're being unreasonable.

Op, kick them out.

I have a sneaky suspicion that if you don’t solve this problem for them (by going shopping WHICH YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT!) they will suddenly revert to eating meat and dairy. I.e if you do the work they will keep to their diet, but if it’s on them it won’t be worth the effort.

Maybe they didn't think of it? I'm not particularly organised so I probably would have done that too. At home i don't plan meals and only think of what to eat at the time or say a few hours ahead. If someone did that to me it wouldn't have made much difference.

Isn't it a bit presumptious to be expected to be fed? So saying "I'm vegan" ahead of time has the expectation that someone wil cook for you?

Do them an omelette at every meal

Or baked beans on dry toast, that's all they deserve the CFs. They should be cooking for you and DD.

We will make this work as my children are going to need these people in their lives for support in the not too distant future.

I see where you're coming from here, but I really hope you have better people involved in your childrens lives than these almost strangers. They don't know your DD that well and I'd guess she's being very polite to them.

They have no children and are lacking quite a lot in self awareness so have form for thoughtless behaviour

Godparent or not, they sound completely out of touch and self-absorbed. Being "nice" once or twice a year isn't enough. Your DD needs real support and not a flake.

💐

I can’t believe they’re staying when you’re not well 🙁 And sorry, but if they haven’t got the brain to tell you well in advance that they’re bringing the week’s shopping and will do all cooking and are actually staying in an Airbnb, given they’re now vegan (yeah, right, wonder how long that will last!) then they sure as heck aren’t going to step up and care for your daughter. Who has custody if the worst comes to pass?

Another post with unreasonable guests today. Yes OP tell them exactly as per your post. They didn't have the decency to inform you about change of diet so they can eay your food or buy their own meals elsewhere. Why are you accommodating non relatives for a week free of charge?

Then the bill goes in the bin

I can’t believe some people think you are being unreasonable.
It’s perfectly normal to go shopping before guests come so you have food to offer them.
Dairy free means if Op has picked up some treats like a packet of chocolate biscuits or a cake to offer they can’t have them. I’d buy more milk etc assuming cups of tea and cereal.
It’s such a waste and so rude especially if money tight.

They are extremely inconsiderate and selfish. They buy and prepare their own meals. In fact kick them out. I know you won't. Total cf's.

I like this, clear and decisive without being dramatic (which you'd have every right to be OP) and controls the options for sorting it out.

And yes, this would be the last free stay of any duration they'd have from me. A big fat "No, we're not doing that anymore" if they're cheeky enough to ask/assume again.

Edited to add I get the reason they are there etc. but in the circs (your health OP) they are coming across as even more inconsiderate. They really should have booked proper accommodation.

No, you laugh and tell them to leave.
Now.

I doubt I'd bother paying for a stamp for a Christmas Card after this.

Yes, I'm vegan and would never dream of doing this. (So please don't blame all vegans 😆). They sound awful. You don't sound as if you like them much though, so probably just don't invite them again.

pasta chips and potatoes are all vegetarian options (vegan, even)... let s not make mega assumptions on the healthiness of their diet.

dairy-free is rarely "healthier" without a clinical reason, depending on what is used as a replacement.

I've only just read your update. So sorry to hear you have cancer. With that in mind, it's even more horrendous that they're expecting you to wait on them! Are you sure they will be a support to your kids in the future? They sound more like lead weights than air balloons.

this

Given what you are going through they should be round at yours helping out, not expecting free accomodation and food that you are expected to cook for them, I don't think they're as nice as you think they are going off what you've said about them.

I think they were a little surprised.

But not half as surprised as you were @Wtafdidido

How inconsiderate not to give you the heads up. I can accommodate every kind of diet, but I still need to be told in advance.

I hope the treatment is successful 💐