AIBU to feel overwhelmed by an overly involved next-door neighbour?

[Seaswimmer23]

I’ve recently moved from London to a smallish town in Lancashire for work. I’ve found a lovely place to live, but the place not issue is my next-door neighbour. She’s been friendly since I moved in, inviting me in for tea, and chatting every time I step outside. And it’s this. I have a busy job and value my peace and independence. I now can’t step outside without a full rundown of her day, and a grilling about mine. I’ve tried to say I’m rushing, I often am, and I’m always polite, but I feel like I’m 15 again not being able to do anything without a million questions and a million moans. If I’m staying in with a book or film she phones me, several times, then knocks if I don’t answer as my phone is on silent. She keeps track of my every move! I love living here but it’s can’t bear this. I’m considering moving. Oh and she has a key, given to her by the landlady. AIBU?

She has a key to your place, so can let herself in?

She’s overstepping and doesn’t realise boundaries.
I think you need to have a word with her and just explain you need done space.

And why/how does she have your phone number?

Yes, and does - she used my freezer without asking and then commented on the contents!

Change the locks
Block her on your phone

And you are going to have to be blunt, sorry Jill cant stop.....

When I first moved in we swapped numbers in case of emergency…

Massive overstepping. You can’t live like that.

I’ve said I need quiet days and I am busy…

Block her.

Erm .... Get on the phone to the landlady and ask for the locks to be changed. Tomorrow!
And then look for another place. This is totally unreasonable.
I would be really aggressively demanding that the landlady should NOT give access to your private residence to a stranger.
Block the neighbour on your phone and start grey-rocking them.
Have headphones on and point to them whenever you leave the house and pretend you can't hear them.
Just stop answering them.
And move.
I'm sorry this is rubbish when you've found a lovely place. But they won't change.

Nah.

I’d not be having some random wandering about in my house.

I’d be changing the locks and blocking the neighbour on the phone.

Jesus Christ what a nightmare. The only way is to fall out with her tbh.

Ask your landlord to change the locks or to retrieve the key. It's not ok!

Stop answer her. You don't have to.

They are longstanding friends. She had trouble with previous tenants apparently. Neighbour’s always had a key.

I'd be kicking off to her and the landlord. It's your home and you have the right to peaceful privacy.

But landlords can't hand out random keys to other persons than tenants. Ask for new locks or the key retrieved.

What’s grey rock?

she cannot legally let herself in let alone use your freezer. this is bonkers.

Why the bloody hell has the landlord given her a key in the first place, and even if there's a reasonable reason for that, why has she left it with her after you've moved in?! That's nuts, and for your landlord to sort out immediately.

Hell no!!! That is illegal of the landlord too!!!

Basically stop engaging with her.

Get a flip lock or chain you can use when you're home. Call your landlady and tell her that she allowed an unauthorized person have access to your place and she's entered without your permission and used your freezer and that's just what you know about. If the locks aren't changed immediately, you will call the police.

Tell neighbour she's not to enter your apartment without your permission and to give you that key. The locks still need to be changed, she could have a copy. Just tell her flat out you are only going to be polite neighbours and that's it. Block her on your phone. She's overbearing and intrusive and she came into your place and used your stuff without asking and you don't appreciate that.

She has a key to your home and can and has let herself in,? Why on earth are you putting up with this, this is outrageous!

They should not have a key unless it is with your express permission.

Your landlord needs telling. They also need telling that the neighbour is entering your house at will and not just in emergency situations.

I’d be tempted to set up an alarm system when I got the locks changed too. You’d know if you had a trustworthy landlord (the key alone won’t disable the alarm) and your neighbour will get the fright of their lives.

Shocking.