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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For leaning over and quietly having some very harsh words with a stupid 16/17 year old chav in covent gardens?

200 replies

bogie · 27/06/2008 10:10

We took DS 2.6 and his little friend 2.3 to London yeaterday and we sat them to watch a little street show in covent gardens. There was a group of girls sat next to ds and friend and all the way through this one girl must of thought she was being clever was shouting "your shit" "your crap" "fucking get on with it then" ect. I didn't say anything at first but then I went behind her and wispered in her ear "listen you stupid little girl, You either piss off or shut up, there are children next to you and if I hear 1 more swear word come out of your mouth I will give you somthing to fucking swear about."
I said this nice and quitley in her ear so no one else heard it and it shut her up straight away was ibu?

OP posts:

katpotat · 28/06/2008 10:17

YANBU - braver than me though

TopBitch · 29/06/2008 18:56

16 is still a child and for those of you who don't think so, I'd like to see your opinions when your dcs are the same age.

I agree totally VS.

MaryHinge · 29/06/2008 19:21

I have one the same age. And if he did this in public than I'd fully expect someone to have a word.

And when I was 16 I was working full-time, earning a living and knew that swearing in public was likely to earn me a telling off.

duchesse · 30/06/2008 11:16

My oldest child is nearly 15, the second is 13.5. They know that this kind of behaviour is utterly unacceptable. No need to wait till 16 to find out if they do. If they did this in public I would be very glad for someone to step up and point out they are behaving badly. If you went to work at 16 in most environments you would get the sack for behaving like this. And rightly so.

Blandmum · 30/06/2008 11:19

My dd is 11 and is quite old enough to understand that such behavior is not acceptable. For that matter ds is 8 and the same goes for him.

If they stepped out of line in this way I would jump on them from a great height. If I wasn't there I would expect another adult to do it.

As others have said, I don't need to wait to 16, they know how to behave now and if they fuck up, they know that they will be informed!

2shoes · 30/06/2008 11:21

well my ds is 16. if he is misbehaving in public. I am fine with someone telling hime to shut up or behave, but I would not be fine with some one threatning him(the op's dh was with her) to me that is wrong.

Greyriverside · 30/06/2008 12:23

Swearing in public (to each other) isn't illegal though it may be inconsiderate. Threatening behaviour is and needs to be dealt with. The OP should report to the nearest police station and say what she did and see how they want to proceed. I imagine it will only be a warning this time.

At 16 if you had asked me politely to stop doing something I would have - I was brought up like that. Had you threatened me you'd have been told exactly where to go in a loud and clear voice.

duchesse · 30/06/2008 12:34

ffs

Greyriverside · 30/06/2008 12:35

To be clear, I do think heckling is mean, but still doesn't give anyone the right to threaten them.

TestyClay · 30/06/2008 12:51

Ooh I'm torn.

I think the OP was right to say something. I'm not sure about the swearing though.

Although......desired effect etc....and I'm a gobby sort....hmmm.

TestyClay · 30/06/2008 13:05

but heckling in such a manner is threatening grey?

If a 'child' is not too precious to use abusive language in an abusive manner then they aren't too precious to be put in their place.

What you may or may not have got up to as a teenager is irrelevant tbh. It doesnt demonstrate at all that a teenager would behave in the same way as you and it would be ridiculous to treat them in such a way.

KnickersOnMaHead · 30/06/2008 13:46

Message withdrawn

MaryHinge · 30/06/2008 17:02

The police would probably wish they could whisper exactly the same.

2shoes · 30/06/2008 17:24

I think if you re read the op you wills ee that the op threatened the girl.
so people think that is ok??

VictorianSqualor · 30/06/2008 17:41

I had to speak to a girl in Primark at the weekend about her language as she was stood behind me and DD in the queue Fing and blinding.
I asked her
'Do you think you could mind your language please, that's not the sort of thing I want my seven year old to hear'
I did it in Teacher Voice. The Voice that says 'I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, and you're going to listen'
She stopped swearing.
No need for threats.

slinkiemalinki · 30/06/2008 17:43

Haven't read thread but awesome OP - although you're a brave lady and lucky you didn't get a wallop! I guess you need an instinct about you to be able to distinguish between a mouthy chav and someone who's really bad news.

KnickersOnMaHead · 30/06/2008 17:44

Message withdrawn

slinkiemalinki · 30/06/2008 17:45

For those criticising the OP's use of language I think sometimes it's appropriate in certain situations. Had she gone up to her and politely requested her to desist from using such bad language I suspect it may not have had the desired effect...

KnickersOnMaHead · 30/06/2008 17:47

Message withdrawn

Bundle · 30/06/2008 17:48

swearing brings you down with a thump from the moral high ground which you'd otherwise be on

Janos · 30/06/2008 17:59

Wow, applause OP! Don't know if I would have been brave enough.

I see nothing wrong with your swears either.

duchesse · 30/06/2008 18:44

2shoes- it's hardly a proper threat, is it now? It's more the sort of thing you'd hear a mother threatening her 3 yr old with in the 70s. I can't imagine that a teenager effing and blinding like this in public would have taken such an empty threat at all seriously. What she did take seriously was the intention behind it (good for her).

If the OP had been of a vindictive/ aggressive bent she could have

a) got her husband to threaten the girl for real (actual scary threat) or
b) shouted out loud at her and then got her partner involved in the ensuing fisticuffs (deliberate provocation).

She did neither of these things.

Heathcliffscathy · 30/06/2008 18:51

it's a bit like smacking someone to show them they shouldn't hit isn't it.

fine to tell her sotto voce that her behaviour is unacceptable and that there are little ears listening. in fact it is laudable.

really crap to tell her to stop swearing by swearing at her!!!

2shoes · 30/06/2008 19:04

gives in
but don't think the op was brave, I will say stuff when I have dh to back me up....hardly brave.

kerala · 30/06/2008 22:16

My DH politely asked a group of adults on a night flight to keep the noise down as everyone (including children) were trying to sleep and it was after midnight. We ended up with 5 hours of abuse - their attitude was "we dont sleep nobody sleeps". Just hellish!

Well done OP

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