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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For leaning over and quietly having some very harsh words with a stupid 16/17 year old chav in covent gardens?

200 replies

bogie · 27/06/2008 10:10

We took DS 2.6 and his little friend 2.3 to London yeaterday and we sat them to watch a little street show in covent gardens. There was a group of girls sat next to ds and friend and all the way through this one girl must of thought she was being clever was shouting "your shit" "your crap" "fucking get on with it then" ect. I didn't say anything at first but then I went behind her and wispered in her ear "listen you stupid little girl, You either piss off or shut up, there are children next to you and if I hear 1 more swear word come out of your mouth I will give you somthing to fucking swear about."
I said this nice and quitley in her ear so no one else heard it and it shut her up straight away was ibu?

OP posts:
Pannacotta · 27/06/2008 11:19

I know why you did it but think you were pretty harsh tbh and a bit hypocritical re the swearing.

kookykid · 27/06/2008 11:26

Well done you!! I never have the courage!

hamandhigh · 27/06/2008 11:26

I am sorry, but YABU.
Why didn't you just ask her to not swear in front of your children?
Why were you so aggressive?
And labelling her a chav-that's mature, isn't it?
She was just a teenager showing off to her friends, I don't think you needed to threaten her

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 11:29

I like that you tackled her, I don't for one single second like the tone and content of what you said.

VictorianSqualor · 27/06/2008 11:30

Well, if you weren't alone it's a bit different, I did confront those people on the bus without a second thought but I always tell dp that just because he is a grown man doesn't make him safe by default even amongst children.

Twiglett · 27/06/2008 11:31

good for you

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 11:31

And she obviously wasn't a hardened ASBO since if she was she would have spat in your face. She sounds like a silly, immature show off. My sympathies actually lie a little with her. She is only 16, I hope she wasn't horribly intimidated by the older woman who threatened her.

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 11:32

hardened ASBO case...I meant to say

booge · 27/06/2008 11:33

It's good you had a word, but it's a shame you swore too.

cheesesarnie · 27/06/2008 11:36

well done-although i think whispering 'please stop swearing infront of my children' would have worked just as well.id not be brave enough.

edam · 27/06/2008 11:36

Oh HMC, I think it's going a bit far to say the poor delicate little flower will have been traumatised. She just knows that adults WILL protest if she misbehaves which is A Good Thing.

JeremyVile · 27/06/2008 11:36

"I hope she wasn't horribly intimidated by the older woman who threatened her."

Well, she was intimidated wasn't she? Because she quit shouting and swearing (intimidating others). She was intimidated into shutting up.

VictorianSqualor · 27/06/2008 11:37

btw I find commenting on their obvious lack of intelligence in being unable to express themselves without swearing can be embarrassing enough in front of a group of friends.

wannaBe · 27/06/2008 11:37

"She is only 16, I hope she wasn't horribly intimidated by the older woman who threatened her.". Imo it's because of attitudes like that that children are allowed to get away with behaving like this.

Lots of people feel intimidated by teenagers these days, and yet they are still children, and maybe a bit of intimidation from an adult shouldn't go amiss sometimes.

Yanbu btw. I wouldn't have swarn at her personally but obviously it worked. She'll hopefully think twice about behaving like that again.

hamandhigh · 27/06/2008 11:39

I don't think that nyone could argue that the op had a right to protest, edam, but she needn't have done so in quite such a nasty manner.
It all reeks of you stupid little chav, I 'll put you in your place.
No wonder we have trouble with teennagers- it all stems from this kind of attitude towards them.

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 11:39

Erm, I didn't say I wouldn't tackle her about her behaviour because she is only 16. 0nly that I can't condone swearing at her and threatening her.

bobbysmum07 · 27/06/2008 11:39

Well you must feel really proud of yourself doing that to a kid of 16 with your 'DP and his mates' all stood behind you. It's really something to go on the internet and brag about.

What a bully.

KerryMum · 27/06/2008 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poshwellies · 27/06/2008 11:40

Fair play to you.

I was pushed to my limits a few years back when some mouthy teenage girl decided to call my daughter a c*nt in the swimming pool when my daughter swam into her by accident-she didn't realise I had heard and her and vile little friends were hanging off the side almost slaping her on the back for her hardness'-put it this way-she wasnt laughing after I asked her to repeat it to me and see where it got her.

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 11:40

And I am quite astounded that some of you think it is okay....

Got to go and finish my cottage pie now...

hamandhigh · 27/06/2008 11:41

Yes, wannabe, they are still children and don't deserve to be spoken to like that.

mindalina · 27/06/2008 11:45

Tbh while I see the point about not swearing, I bet she wouldn't have shut up so quickly if you hadn't.

I really don't see the OP's behaviour as that intimidating to be honest - how many people in the area must have been feeling intimidated by that girl with her shouting and swearing at a public entertainment thing, given that no-one else had confronted her?

When I was 13 I was in town with my friend and I called my friend a name, jokingly - a grown woman thought I was aiming my comment at her and shoved me up against a wall and threatened me, called me a stupid little cunt . Now that's intimidating. Being told to stop swearing, not so much.

hamandhigh · 27/06/2008 11:45

kerrymum- read thread title

micci25 · 27/06/2008 11:46

YANBU are you me? i do things like that all the time although its not clever losing your temper and swearing back as your 2.5 year old will mimic you

"ere you have you got a fucking fag for me or not?"
"no and can you not swear infront of my daughter"
"i didnt ask if i could fucking swear, are you deaf i asked if i you had a fucking fag"
"and i said no are you fucking deaf you fucking eejit"
dd1 "yeah we said fucking no!!"

i really must control my temper more!! though in my defence i do normally just say something along the lines of "your mother may not mind you using that language but i do mind my four year old hearing it, can try and stop swearing untill we get past?"

wannaBe · 27/06/2008 11:46

you know what, when I was a teenager I wouldn't have dared shout out that kind of language in front of an adult. Doesn't mean I didn't use it in front of my friends but I would have been mortified if I'd been having a conversating and swearing and I'd realized an adult had heard me. And the same went for my friends.

And the reason why was because we had respect for adults. If an adult spoke we listened.

But now teens do what the hell they want and say what the hell they want because we have this "you can't touch me" attitude. People don't dare confront them for fear of being stabbed. Wtf is that about? At what point did children rate above adults in terms of respect? Because children (and at 16 they are still children) have no respects for adults, or authority, and yet as adults we are supposed to respect them and their rights.

Is it any wonder society is going to the dogs.