For leaning over and quietly having some very harsh words with a stupid 16/17 year old chav in covent gardens?

[bogie]

We took DS 2.6 and his little friend 2.3 to London yeaterday and we sat them to watch a little street show in covent gardens. There was a group of girls sat next to ds and friend and all the way through this one girl must of thought she was being clever was shouting "your shit" "your crap" "fucking get on with it then" ect. I didn't say anything at first but then I went behind her and wispered in her ear "listen you stupid little girl, You either piss off or shut up, there are children next to you and if I hear 1 more swear word come out of your mouth I will give you somthing to fucking swear about."
I said this nice and quitley in her ear so no one else heard it and it shut her up straight away was ibu?

A lot of us seem to have forgotten that this little cow was yelling abuse at somebody trying to do a performance to a bunch of people who were clearly prepared to watch it. She wasn't just swearing while talking to her friends.

The discipline among teenagers in this country is absolutely gone - it's not that they don't respect people, it's that they have utter contempt for people. And a lot of that is due to them being treated in precisely the soft-gloved, consequence and boundary free way a lot of people here seem to employ.

Yes, of course children should be taught that they're owed respect by default - but they should also be taught that ANY bad behaviour and inconsideration towards a stranger immediately loses you that right to respect. You're only respectable as long as you're respectable.

No, YANBU. Good for you, well done, do it again.

It is a pity you swore, mind.

Bogie, you did not have time presumably to weigh up all the pros and cons of each word that you were about to say, nor write and edit a script etc.

On balance, I think you did the right thing. Good for you.

She was telling them off for shouting, swearing and disrupting a street show.

There is a world of a difference from doing that, and swearing in 'general conversation'

She wasn't telling them off for swearing to their friends. She was telling them off for jeering at the street performers.

Quite different IMHO

But not one rule applies. Two rules apply.

The first rule is, you don't swear and shout and carry on when people are with their families trying to have a good time.

The second rule is, if a somebody (especially a child) is shouting and swearing and being intimidating around your family while you're trying to have a good time, you're allowed to get them to stop. And if you communicate to them that their behaviour is unacceptable and offensive, all the better. And if you strongly imply that there are consequences for acting like a yob... well, bonus points.

Would you do it differently next time, bogie?

"i would have given her a sly pinch on the arm too"

LOL thats funny

I was in the cinema a few months ago watchig a horror film with dp, I haven't been out much since dd was born and we were really looking forward to it but there was really horrible girl sat right in the middle of the cinema who wouldn't shut up.

She kept shouting 'oh thats really scary, oh I'm fu*king shitting myself now.. etc

I think she was doing the same sort of thing as the girl next to you bogie, trying to show off in front of her friends.

In the end I shouted at her across the cinema, 'Can you please be quiet so the rest of us can enjoy the film'. It worked, I embarrased her and she shut up.

Although after the film she was outside the cinema door when I walked out. I just looked her straight in the eye and silently dared her to say anything, luckly she wasn't brave enough as I was a little bit scared at that point!

I don't regret saying anything, I agree that teenagers push thier luck to see how much they can get away with.

Oh and btw YANBU, in fact bloody well done you, honestly some teens think they can do what they like and that no-one will challenge them. I love it when people like you Do challenge them! I would have done exactly the same.

I don't think I would do it differently she was not a child she was more than old enough to know better, If it had been some one that was under 14 doing it I would have said it very differently because although they do or should know better they are still children.

Would everyone think it was such a bad idea if there 2 year old would have started shouting shit? ds didn't do this but loves to copy words and if someone next to himis shouting it, it is very possiable that he will start shouting it to.

Also VS any girl who carries on like this girl, is highly unlikely to be 'absolutely terrified' if someone challenges her nastily. And, even if she is, well no bad thing. might make her think twice next time.

There is not enough fear in some youths these days, thats the problem.

in response to OP

You are a STAR! well done!
Oh for the opportunity to do a similar public service

Good on you. By whispering in her ear you gave her the chance to shut up without losing face in front of her mates. Had you said it out loud you would proabbaly have had a mouthful back.

I'm lol at the fact that this thread has veered from the 16 year old pulling a knife to being traumatised forever. A 16 year old is well old enough to know that swearing in public isn't usually accepatble - if more people spoke up than it would become less aceptable by the day.

I am laughing out loud at the thought of a near adult teenager who swears loudly in public in order to intimidate and 'impress' others being so frightened by being told to shut up that she is afraid to go out! That, I'm afraid, is not a remotely realistic scenario. I assume the person who posted that does not have teenage children.
Obviously people were scared of her and her mates, which is why her antisocial behaviour was allowed to continue. I wouldn't have sworn myself, or made threats (especially threats I couldn't possibly carry through) but I'm very glad this girl was stopped.
Most teenagers are absolutely lovely, but as in every age group there will be some antisocial people, and it's sad that we are so so terrified that we don't dare speak out.

I think this country would be a much nicer place to live in if teenagers were still a little bit afraid of adults.

I don't think you were unreasonable. People saying nothing just reinforces teenagers impression that everyone is in awe of them/ too scared, which in turn makes their behaviour worse. If my dd came home aged 16 and told me a woman swore at her and threatened her, I would definitely take it with a pinch of salt, and I would also be glad that someone had had the balls to set her straight, seeing as how I wasn't there to do it!

As for swearing, well, I don't really have a problem with it, it's obviously a language this girl understands, why would it be intimidating. And if it is, it might make her think about how her own behaviour might have been intimidating. Which may, in the long run, actually do her a favour. As far as I can see, the girl stopped her behaviour, and learned a valuable lesson (even if it is just that there is always a bigger fish, so keep your head down!)so everyone is a winner (including the street performer!)

I had a similar situation with a couple of really hard looking teenage girls while waiting in a queue for a ride at a funfair. They looked at the long queue, then asked the woman in front of me the time, then just slid into the queue beside her! Everyone was chuntering, but noone was going to say anything, including me, until I heard the biggest one say under her breath to her mate "See? told you! Losers!" At which point I tapped her on the shoulder and informed her that yes, amazingly I HAD actually noticed her crass and pathetic attempt at queue-jumping, and that the only reason I wasn't kicking her ass right to the back was because I had been brought up better than her! But she needn't stand there thinking she was so clever she had got away with- rather that the rest of us were too polite. She went bright red and....let me go in front of her (everyone else continued to chunter, though!!)

Spot on, Colditz.

A little bit of healthy fear would do some teens the world of good, and perhaps motivate them to modify their behaviour in public.

You were certainly not BU, bogie, well done.

YANBU. 16 year olds who sit mouthing off are NOT going to be traumatised for the rest of their lives by such an incident but may well (hopefully) just think twice before doing it again when addressed in a language they actually understand. Well done OP for daring to take a stand.

There's far too much pandering to children these days. IMHO.

Now I don't mind the odd swear here and there, but it strikes me that this conversation we are having about manners, swearing in public, respect etc., is a little one sided if some of you are coming on here and openly posting uncensored words like f*k, Ct, St, etc. Personally, i'll wear it, but I think moderation and respect for all of us please. I know you are telling stories about what has happened, but if I can look up a word like FANJO on here, which apparently means the same thing (so twee...), then I'll take that over C*t in front of everyone every day.

The context here is missing. The teenager was not threatening or abusing the OP, just being a bit of a FANJO (apparently). The OP didn't define what it was that she would give to the teenager to make her swear, but that's not the point. There was a threat, not a retribution for behaviour that is being demonstrated right now, on here.

Wow. You sound like a big fish wife. Swearing at children basically, and with your own child with you, even if they couldn't hear or understand.

Bloody brilliant!!!

A 16-year-old isn't a child, though.