AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

[UnhealthierWhy]

This is not our problem ???

We are on holiday currently with our 2 dc (2 and 4) (Disney Paris) due back home on Wednesday. Dh has 2 older dc from previous marriage (6 and 8).

He gave his ex money for holiday childcare which she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. She is telling dh he needs to come home early to have the dc as she can’t take the time off.

She is constantly messaging and calling and we are considering just turning our phones off if she continues pestering us this way.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate if we can but this is the first time we’ve said no.

She made this mess she needs to sort it out. Just like all other responsible parents do.

Its also true that this Mum is having to coordinate at least 2/3 of childcare across summer holidays whilst she works. So what is described as "her" time is mostly like not a fair share

Oh what a pity you are in a bad reception area/have forgotten your phone charger/phone is lost or mislaid. I have got off with saying I took another phone with me as the one I have does not accept international calls.

Why didnt you include his children in your holiday? Seems incredibly mean spirited

It’s entirely unreasonable to expect a family to leave their holiday to sort out her lack of childcare. She must have other options - partner, friends, kids friends, other relatives, calling in sick if she can’t take dependents or emergency leave.

phones off now

Surely if they had all the holidays with dad ...and obviously also the holidays with mum then they would have double the holidays of the other children so not missing out at all !

I’m just astounded that your husband has gone to Disneyland Paris and left two of his children behind. What a horrible way to treat them. It’s not even like they’re too old for it.

If you go back, you are setting yourself up for ten more years of this.

They had their own trip to Disney with their Dad last year, when they would have his full attention.

I was also a step sibling ( father had a further 2 families) I had no expectation or issue with not being included on all of his family hols only some, we were different ages etc and enjoyed the times we did have together

I dont understand why they would be? They aren't her kids?
They deserve some time as their family unit.

Enjoy the remainder of your holiday and leave their mothers to parent her children, this is not your problem ..

Nope her husbands/partners children are not hers and she deserves to do nice things with her own children.
She takes them all on holiday together tk so they aren't missing out and probably get more holidays between the 2 adult couples than a nuclear family would.
I was a step child and didnt expect to be at every single event that either of my parents did.

So your dh has his DCs 10 days a month, and presumably mum has them the other 20 days. Bit unequal there……

@UnhealthierWhy do you normally have them longer in the holidays

Don’t be ridiculous. They have taken all the children away, taken the older ones away alone, paid for holiday care which their mother conveniently ‘forgot’ to book and the OP then had the children herself.
He, and the OP, haven’t ’left the kids in the lurch’. Their feckless mother has done that all by herself.

She sounds extremely manipulative. Archive her messages for the rest of the holiday and enjoy yourselves.

⬆️ this. As is often the case there is a major comprehension fail on this thread by lots of people

Different ages of children want to do different things. Who knew eh

I think you are allowed to have a holiday with just your kids.

I think if you are given money to purchase childcare you should purchase childcare.

However, if your DH and ex were still married there is no way he'd leave his kids in the lurch if there were a childcare crisis. I think it's difficult because it does sound like she's trying to manipulate the situation. I'd certainly hold out for as long as you can - there must be options for her. And presumably she knew there was a problem (whether of her own making or not) before you went - rather than deciding to tell you once you are there?

Absolutely this - but according to MN, you have to do everything with everyone, all the time.

What do you want people to say?
You’ve been advised to switch your phones off and reassured that you’re not unreasonable.

No, not missing out in life by only having one parent at home and caught between two families.

I find it harsh you're at Disneyland without them. And using the consolation that they've got a UK holiday later this year! Yes. I'm sure that'll be infinitely more fun. I also think it's desperate af you chose to have children with him so soon after the birth of his other child. You were knocked up a year later, really?