AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

[UnhealthierWhy]

This is not our problem ???

We are on holiday currently with our 2 dc (2 and 4) (Disney Paris) due back home on Wednesday. Dh has 2 older dc from previous marriage (6 and 8).

He gave his ex money for holiday childcare which she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. She is telling dh he needs to come home early to have the dc as she can’t take the time off.

She is constantly messaging and calling and we are considering just turning our phones off if she continues pestering us this way.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate if we can but this is the first time we’ve said no.

I don’t think your responsibility as a parent is paused just because you are on holiday. When you are a parent you need to be able to cope with emergency situations or changes of plan. So it isn’t ideal, be HE as their father may need to come home to ensure that HIS CHILDREN are minded.

Did she give you the money back for the child care she didn’t book and you then stepped up and did?

OP pay no attention to responses like these.
You don't owe an explanation to your family's dynamics .
Some people will always 'enjoy' sticking the knife in and making assumptions.

I’m guessing there’s more to this story - only 2 years between your oldest and your youngest dsd op? Seems off you don’t have them with you at Disney. 10 days a month is 1/3, enough to fit in a holiday. Your dp is “helping out” or “doing childcare” they are his dc and if his ex is that disordered he needs to consider having majority custody for the kids sake

And @MeganM3 why isn’t their mother stepping up then? She will have to sort it. She knows they are away. It was up to her to book child care, and she hasn’t. It’s not up to him to always step up. As the thread-she had an affair, she moved away, she doesn’t book things after asking money to pay for them… at some point you have to ask about motive.

Why? Because a woman couldn’t possibly do that? We’ve been told their relationship ended because she cheated on him yet he’s still getting crap because he had a relationship after her?

The ex sounds bitter and a real pain in the ass.
I totally believe that she had affairs and the child had to be tested.
I had (had!) a best friend years ago that had loads of affairs. She stopped an affair when she got married, she got pregnant with her husband, picked up the affair whilst she was pregnant (and the man knew), and only stopped the affair as she bled after a rough sex session so she was scared. She had the first baby, second baby quite quick and picked up the affair again when her second baby was about 2. All the same man, but she also slept with others. It happens!
Also was raging when her husband moved on quite quickly even though he found out about numerous affairs. She would moan to me about who he was with, and I’d say well he’d still be with you if you hadn’t cheated on him!

Of course she did. She's the crazy ex.
My XP had crazy exes, then he had an extra crazy ex - me.

Does that mean she should've also stopped her husband from taking his older kids away without the kids they share? Or is it ok for dad to have a holiday with only his first two whilst OP is seen as the wicked stepmother for wanting a holiday with just her kids?

So your DH paid for childcare during her time with DC and she failed to book it, kept the money and now expects you to cut your holiday short and fly home to look after DC? She sounds totally deluded. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Oh and ignore all the bleating about holidays and anything unrelated to your
OP.

Yet you were OK with the elder 2 going to Disney with their father and without the younger 2 last year? Wow.

And you're OK with the 2 elder ones going on holiday to Spain with their mum and her partner without the younger 2 - even though they're siblings? Wow again.

I think you're talking shit

🤦‍♀️
Well she’s expecting them to go home from their holiday because she forgot to book childcare after he gave her money to book it, rather than her take a day off because of her own error on her time with the children she’s expecting everyone to accommodate her… so yeh she probably is a crazy ex

No I wasnt ok with that …. As previously said above if you read the posts. So “wow” back at ya.

My husband and his son came as a package deal. My SS is 14, our kids together are 2 and under. DH & SS have gone on two European trips this year geared towards SS interests. We have done one UK and one Irish weekend trips with the younger kids in the last 12 months without SS because he'd absolutely hate having to cater towards the babies.

Whether biological or not... the age gap means this us the best scenario for us. Which also appears to be the same for the OP.

I agree. The vipers are out again, I see. Picking apart everything (they assume, read: makeup) about OP’s life when all she wanted to know was whether she was being unreasonable regarding wanting to switch their phones off and ignore the ex wife.

The story doesn't add up.

If the DC weren't so close in age it might.

I have a feeling that OP was a homeowner and keen to start a family when she met her DH.

I guess I also just don't really believe he took his two kids to Disneyland on their own. It's not really congruent with his other behaviour.

So it doesn’t add up that a woman would have an affair and leave?

But he gave his ex money to ensure that HIS CHILDREN were minded.

I literally know of several dads and mums who have done this for a variety of reasons.

🤷‍♀️

What’s so hard to believe about a woman having an affair and leaving ?

If he normally has the children for that week, how is it her job to arrange the cc? Why didn't he do it?

Yes this doesn't make sense on many levels. It would not have been physically possible for a post-partum mum to be dating and cheating during the lockdown?

Someone is clearly telling a lot of porkies, either your DH or you to the posters here.

You are so right, it could be financial, so much better to choose between which kids to take than go on a cheaper holiday with them all. I mean nothing like the feeling kids get when they are told “not taking you on holiday this time because I want time at Disney with my new family only”. I personally think anyone who excludes the original children are arseholes, no matter how the marriage broke down. Also the original, cheating, wife could still see OP as a home wrecker if she believed she could win the husband back. Hence the trying to ruin their holiday. Though personally, I believe , if you’re cheated on, you shouldn’t go back. Before you jump to to more conclusions, as you seem to be good at, I am not from a broken family either. I also jumped to the conclusion that op was the other women due to the kids ages, for that I’m sorry to OP. It was that or the other conclusion, which was that the OP’s DH’s first marriage broke down so he found the next wife as soon as he could to look after his original children, so he didn’t have to do it alone! Adieu!