AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

[UnhealthierWhy]

This is not our problem ???

We are on holiday currently with our 2 dc (2 and 4) (Disney Paris) due back home on Wednesday. Dh has 2 older dc from previous marriage (6 and 8).

He gave his ex money for holiday childcare which she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. She is telling dh he needs to come home early to have the dc as she can’t take the time off.

She is constantly messaging and calling and we are considering just turning our phones off if she continues pestering us this way.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate if we can but this is the first time we’ve said no.

@Pumpkinmagic , I don't buy the 'in the space of 2 years the XW was having an affair and left, the DD2 was born and DNA tested, the DH met and procreated with OP (DD3) and they had that baby'.
This, or some of it, was during COVID.

The OP is pretty straightforward until you consider the timeline.

It's not your problem, the mother probably isn't even sick It's just a way to manipulate you.

You & your DH should apply through court for either 50/50 or full custody. And stop pandering to her nonsense.

If your DH agrees to pay for any future holiday clubs, he books it directly himself so he knows the money is paying for it, although, he'll have no guarantee she'll actually take them.

She loves to disrupt your lives, she thrives on it - take her power away by saying NO.

Till she moves again once you have moved nearer

and it’s her days so she should sort out and pay for childcare

next time get dh to book it if paying for it

I think you’re projecting. OP hasn’t indicated any of that.

Completely off topic but how does he have a 6 year old and then a 4 year old with you? How do men have time to date with a tiny baby?!?!?!

In no world would a decent man have a holiday with only two of his kid. Literally no man ever if he was actually living with all 4.

OP didn’t say they have a six and a four year old, they have a two and a four year old. DH’s older children are six and eight. Unless you mean that he was dating OP when the six year old was a baby - in which case, the answer is he’s a man. His needs come first.

I have regularly, through out all my children's lives, had separate holidays with separate children.

They are all my biological children, but I'm not taking for example, one that hates Disney and theme parks, to Disneyland.

Treating them equally doesn't mean doing anything same thing.

Op, I feel for you. I would leave a number of someone you trust at home for her to contact if there is a real emergency, and then block her for now.

I do actually! I think Disney is very specific holiday for children and if the kids are anywhere between say 3 and 14 (ish depending on the child) to take some and not all of your children is wrong.

Left in the lurch? They are with their mum on her time so it’s up to her to organise childcare. How has he left them in the lurch?

I know? You are assuming I was referring to her having a newborn. I am referring to DH

Ahh you have edited the post. I just think he couldnt have been a very present Dad to a new baby and a supportive coparent if hes able to get someone pregnant before the baby is even 1

This is MN. Step parents are universally hated no matter how reasonable they are. OP posted about her DH’s ex being awkward about childcare but got a slew of very predictable responses criticising the fact that they didn’t take all four kids on holiday. Some nice responses about OP being a ‘homewrecker’ thrown in for good measure.

Your at Disney Paris. What would she do if you were in Australia? Or anywhere else where you can't just be back in this country at the drop of a hat?

I agree, that is very stupid behaviour.

And why are women drawn to men who have two such incredibly young children also??

Yep, unfortunately I realised what you may have been getting at as I was typing out my initial response and hit send before I meant to !! My bad. I think my reply still stands though - his first thought being that his needs come first. I don’t necessarily think OP was a homewrecker, as one poster so charmingly put it, but the timelines between the children of the first and second relationships do seem very tight.

The op claims that he prefers to have a few holidays JUST with his kids with the OP and not his other two.

Either he is a shit dad

or the OP is lying

But I would bet im right

And “projecting”? Let me guess… you pepper most of your posts with “triggering” and “narcissist?

A lot of MN like to just have a go at men for whatever reason they can, that I have noticed.

Your DH has got four kids with two different women and two of them are just two years apart. He has to expect a logistical nightmare when it comes to childcare during the summer holidays.

Yes it’s a bit much to leave the holiday but he needs to step-up when he gets back. You can’t have a two year with one woman, then get another woman pregnant and expect the summer holidays to be plain sailing. It’s going to be like this every summer.

Switch off your phones and enjoy your holiday.

You could also question why some women with such young children have an affair with another man?….. like OPs DH ex did 🤷‍♀️

Different ages?

I would understand if his older two were 16 and 18

but they’re not. They are 8 and 6!!!

Nah, bet she didn’t