To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

I work part time and my husband full time he is well paid and loves his career. I am happy to work part time allowing me time to do the house work cooking ect in the afternoon. It works well for us and my husband isn't unhappy quite the contrary he often tells me I don't have to work if I don't want to. But I do want to OP i love my job and routine.

Between paid work, housework, childcare and cooking, you are working as much as your husband. I wonder if the OP is referring to women either without children (or with grown children) who work only one or two days a week.

When I worked part time I didn’t earn enough to pay tax so me taking early retirement made no difference. My husband on the other hand pays enough tax to fund 3 family’s benefits who don’t work.

what does he do?

MYOB.

They do, @Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh One of my neighbors is a former SAHD whose children are now 22 and 24. His wife has been the breadwinner for years and he isn't working at all as far as I'm aware.

Same with another couple, she's worked FT since I've known them and he's been p-t. Their children range from mid-20's-early 30's so it's not lack of time.

Presumably everyone's OK with the setup and they can pay their bills.

It's not entitled . It's a family decision..maybe the person just doing the odd shift takes on more of the child care/household work. What happens if the main bread winner loses their job? Well maybe they have a lot of savings? Maybe they have redundancy and life insurance?

Have you ever thought that relationships might be more than how much each person contributes financially?

My friend is “the breadwinner” (hate that phrase) and her husband is a substitute kindergarten teacher who takes an occasional day here and there. His passion is music and he’s in a band. He is the most devoted partner to her and their daughter. And an unbelievable cook too

I don’t think it’s as simple as one person works and the other is taking the piss / taking advantage. You have to look at the dynamics of the relationship in question

Assume husband speaking :-)

In which case you just sound jealous. Marry a richer man and stop whining. Its literally none of your business how others arrange their finances and domestic lives. A couple of generations ago btw, it was expected that a female would leave her job when she married. Not when pregnant, just to become a housewife!! These days we have to do the majority of what that entailed AND go to a paid job. This is dressed up as progress, having it all! If a couple wishes to have one breadwinner and one getting dinner on the table what's it got to do with you? Also if someone like that took a job, they would be preventing someone who actually needs the money having that job. I say all that while earning at a higher rate than my OH btw. Unlike you I don't feel I need to tell everyone else to live as I do.

Late 50’s and haven’t worked since I was early 40’s apart from volunteering. Dh earns well and couldn’t care less as long as I’m happy. Just waiting for him to retire and we can both bum around travelling together!

Jealousy is a curse. I'm in a different industry but only work here and there. Mainly to keep my qualification up to date so if anything should happen with DH, I can jump in and start earning pretty quickly.
It's s what works for our family because due to our circumstances our kids have quite a few random days off. More than any employer would or should accept. My two with autism wouldn't cope with wrap around care, they barely cope with school.
DH and I met young and scrimped and saved to be in the position we are in now, certainly not coasting through life entitled. Think night school after a hard day of work during the baby/toddler stage.
I'll let them know random lady on the internet has judged us entitled and should change our situation because she has to go to work.

And that's fine if you consider just your family. If you take a wider view and consider the whole country, far less so.

Well I did supply after I was made redundant. We couldn’t afford for me not to work. I had a toddler at home and took the days I could depending on his shifts and grandparent availability. But I struggled because I couldn’t drop everything to work on a Monday when I had no childcare. It took its toll and it was definitely not take shifts but have a rich husband.

It did lead me to get a part time job teaching somewhere though but the week I started that my marriage broke down. I did then become eligible for UC credit though. At that school there were lots of TAs who were working there due to their lifestyle of their husbands being the high earning breadwinner. Many were part time TAs and some were full time. Many didn’t need to work but wanted to more for their own sanity. I never really judged them though. It was a big sen school and staff wages were lower than average because of it being independent. We had some staff working there whose kids/grandkids went to the school.

My plan to up my hours from part time to full time were short lived when I realised I would be no better off working more hours due to my UC. I would earn more wage, get less UC, pay out more travel, pay out more childcare and be a hell of a lot more stressed due to the nature of the job. I got a higher UC rate than I expected due to one of my children being disabled and getting the extra elements. Instated there over a decade.

I moved jobs when the kids went to secondary as no childcare needed and now work full time term time but am literally no better off than I was working part time - my full time job is not teaching but pay is more than I was getting but overall I’m not better off. I’ve lost the child disabled elements of UC as my child didn’t qualify for PIP after years of DLA so that was a massive drop of income to the house. She’s still disabled and has the same things needing paying for! But that’s another thread.

I hated working supply. I only did it because I needed an income not because I had a rich partner at home. When I was married and I was made redundant I was only eligible for JSA for six months before the would make me start taking any job. I was struggling to get other jobs but the supply gave me a way in.

On the other hand my sister doesn’t work at the moment. Her DH earns well and she doesn’t need to. She will be looking though because she struggles not to work. She used to work part time and full time in a decently paid job because she wanted to not because she needed to. But it wasn’t zero hours.

I am lucky to have a job I love, related to my hobbies, which pays well. I am not at a life stage where we can afford for only one of us to work (kids at school) but DH does backbreaking work that he hates and when we can I would be happy to work and for him to do his thing, so long as his thing accommodated keepng on top of basic house work etc.

Well, you didn't express the question thoroughly, but to take on your point... the "what if its taken care of" depends on the party with the means of wealth creation to relinquish part of that control to the non earning party.

Allowances and joint accounts are typically the most common way of sharing wealth amongst couples, however in a relationship where one is non-earning, there is no obligation (other than moral) for this to be balanced, guaranteed or equitable. For this reason, financial abuse is very difficult to prove and prosecute.

So, the "what if" is flawed in the sense that the only way to truly eliminate the risk is to achieve both current and future economic independence. Any other scenario is passive and potentially short term in its risk mitigation.

Some couples choose for one to go out and bring in the big bucks but the other supports and facilitates their doing this - by for example dealing with all the life admin, kids, parents, home etc
if they’re supporting themselves and both happy with it why should it bother you?

You are assuming the ‘breadwinner’ is being taken advantage of by their partner. . Not all work in a relationship / marriage is paid work. It’s very possible for one person (of either sex) to love their job and feel grateful their partner doesn’t work so that they can run the home and pick up any slack in terms of life / family admin. Roles don’t have to be the same for a relationship to be equal. Also I wouldn’t spend long feeling sorry for all these men whose wives don’t work full time. In my experience men are a lot clearer on what they want than women are and if there was nothing in it for them, then they’d leave.

I don't think it's entitled. Just short sighted.

It's really not, for many of us. We do know what we are doing.
Intelligent, educated women, and men, make these choices too and are very far sighted when they do so

If somebody is relying on a high earning partner good luck to them if that person is daft enough to support them.

Thank you for bringing up this subject. We have friends where the husband works long hours, has to travel abroad a lot with work and does all the diy and most of the cooking. His wife doesn't work, doesn't have to as he earns a good wage. The husband is always complaining about being tired. She doesn't seem to get if she worked and took the pressure off maybe he could have retired already. Just doesn't seem fair to me. The same would be true if roles reversed. I would feel terrible if I didn't share the paid work amd domestic 50% with my wife.

That's not at all the only way to eliminate the risk though, is it?

Jealousy is never a good look.

I disagree. Because it has been traditional roles . I.e. the husband works and " keeps" his wife, some parts of society have been slow to change away from this so it is still accepted as the norm.