To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

A household who's budget allows for a SAHP is perfectly sensible, as long as they can still pay the bills on 2 minimum wage jobs which can be got if the main earner loses job etc.

Can't tell if this is a wind up or someone who doesn't have the sense to realise that a lot of the women they're slagging off will take this sort of seething as validation.

Alas, not everyone is good at ignoring what people think.

Of course a person is not being unreasonable to have an an opinion about other people's life choices. They are being unreasonable if they think their opinion has a shred of relevance to anyone else though.

I completely agree with you. I wouldn’t be comfortable living like this, nor would I be comfortable supporting a partner of any sex living off me. It’s taking the piss IMO

emmas123
“The only way to achieve that is a full separation of assets”

Equally dividing up your wealth? Why would you when both partners have vastly different taxation.

Absolutely. I don't get it.
X

as with many things, it gets so much easier with practice.

why is it taking the piss if both partners in the relationship agree to it because it suits both of them and makes them both happy?

Then they would discuss their future plans together, you know, like loving married couples do.

For several years I was the only earner and DH took care of the home. Then he was the only earner and I was a SAHM. Now I work four days a week term time only. He earns four times what I do but he doesn’t see me as “sponging” - we are, quite simply, a team and we have different roles within that team.

Have you been sucking lemons?

Supply as in supply teaching?
If so it’s pretty terrifying that people with such judgmental, naïve and sheltered attitudes are teaching and influencing our children.

I dont think it is necessary to have an opinion on something that doesnt affect you or any third parties adversely. It seems a bit of a waste of energy.

In the scenario, it’s a matter for the couple to decide. It’s reasonable to think “I wouldn’t be ok with my spouse doing this” but it seems unnecessarily judgemental to say “I’m not ok with other couples doing this”.

As long as a couple can afford it, deciding that only one spouse will work is a private matter. Some women may enjoy staying at home and some men may enjoy having a stay-at-home wife. Clearly not OP and her husband - but that’s ok. We ARE all entitled to choose different lifestyles and (provided they dont prejudice others) its not really anyone else’s business.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

sounds fine to me as long as the tax payer are not subsidising through benefits. If my husband was a high earner I would absolutely do the same.

It's none of your business.

If your husband doesn’t earn enough then you can’t do it, other people can? What’s the problem?

It sounds like there is a lot of give-and-take in your relationship. So nice to see.

Ok but where d’u stand, if there are children involved & the ‘D’H never ever lifts a finger (not through disability!) in the home?

A. This does just sound like you’re jealous. And no this doesn’t refer to me, yes I don’t work and yes my partner brings in all the money, although I do technically work a little as I do accounts for his business and get paid a little for that but I don’t really see that as a job. It means I can be a full time mum, I know you’ve stated that’s different and it works out cheaper this way tbh. But in all honesty I don’t get what any of its got to do with you when someone doesn’t have any other reason than because they want to. You sound bitter at life.

B.) Some men don’t actually want their wives to work, they want them to stay at home, and deem it a “manly” thing to do to be the breadwinner. Not saying I agree with that point of view.

C.) You’re moaning about this like it probably hasn’t been a joint discussion between husband and wife. People choose to live how they want to live. Also maybe the supply teacher role is their dream job, they don’t need the money so they can stay there what’s the problem?! I don’t get it. If two grown ups agree to something I don’t get why their private life is any of your business.

Not your business. Not affecting you at all.

My husband is a farmer. He works really hard and loves his job, I work 15 hours a week and spend the rest of my time choosing to stay at home and look after our kids. We discussed this at length. Part of the reason we came to this decision was because he has a career, a livelihood whereas I have a little admin job I’ve had since I was 18. My job pays tuppance whereas his doesn’t. It would have cost more in childcare than I would have earned a month so I stay home. I think you are seriously out of order judging people for choices you weren’t apart of and I think you are entitled for even thinking this is any of your business.

I don't generally agree when people think that any criticism is just jealousy, but I think in this case... you're just jealous!

Ah bless you OP, it’s a shame you have to work full time when many of us don’t. I haven’t worked full time since meeting my DH at age 25, he doesn’t want me to, we made a decision (his idea) that I will look after the house and be available for the kids and life admin that entails and he can work as and when he needs too knowing I’m there for the kids when they are poorly etc. Why on earth would you care or even think about other couples finances and life arrangements, it’s weird as fuck and actually creepy!
Maybe one day your DH will get a promotion and earn enough that you can drop some days and ease your bitterness ❤️