To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

What I do find extremely entitled is your judgement of others situation compared to your own…
I quote you back :

‘It's just an opinion. I couldn't feel happy in myself knowing I'm sponging off my husband, but it only applies to women for some reason.’

I guess you do you & leave others to do them.

You seem to of formed your judgement based on a spoken sentence you heard rather than the situation, discussions and decisions within the partnership that had inevitably occurred to decide what suited them - what suits them matters, not what it makes you feel.

Not everything is about you.

You do you OP and I’ll carry on happily swanning around.

There is a double standard here. Housework and cooking should be shared. It is not up to the wife to do all the chores—that is old-school. However, the wife doesn't need to work if the husband can earn enough to provide for both of them. What would people think if the husband didn't work and wife worked full-time?

It’s none of your business in what others do with their lives and this is coming from someone who works part time with a 4 year old and a newborn well I’ll go back when I’m off maternity leave but still it’s nothing to do with you what I do or anyone else does

why? as I said upthread in my post, equality does not mean identical. What is so wrong about two sensible adults agreeing how to share out the requirements of their partnership

LoL I’m sorry but you’re not their partner or husband so stop worrying and commenting on their lives. You don’t need to be and it’s pathetic. When you’re married to everyone that does this ans paying all their bills come back. What a weird thing to feel conflicted about. Your not the working partner in every house so move on

Is this post intended to be proviking? Where are you finding these people? I don't think I've ever come across a woman who has no reliable income who doesn't fall in to one of the categories you excluded at the beginning of your question. In fact everyone I know who works less than full time does so because they need the flexibility for one of those reasons. That, or they're approaching retirement and have decided to reduce their hours after working, raising a family and running a household for most of their adult life. If this unicorn person does exist, then I'd assume they have discussed and agreed this working arrangement with their partner, in which case we can hardly call it "entitled". I'd be more inclined to call it "none of your business".

That's true—equality does not mean identical. My point was that if a man worked only one day every two months while his wife worked full-time, many people would judge him more harshly than if the roles were reversed.

I’m not sure if you’re just trying to stir the pot, but we all know that women generally do the vast majority of caring responsibilities- this might be children or aged parents/in-laws.

I don’t know any women on zero hours/part time contracts/SAHMs who “swan around” declaring their husband earn enough to carry them. They are all juggling child care, household chores, school “stuff” like world book day, parents evenings, sports days, school outings, kids clubs, swimming lessons, supporting elderly parents etc etc etc.

So YABVU to suggest there’s lots of women “sponging” off their husbands. It’s a narrative that just doesn’t reflect most couples’ situations. The majority of men just don’t want to do the drudgery of child care etc and would prefer to go to work and leave it to ‘er indoors. Note - most men - there will be a minority of men who genuinely want to split the shit 50-50.

Maybe so but it’s their own fault as it is men who carry on the idea of the idea of the male provider and the female carer. It’s men who feel “weak” if they aren’t the main provider because men promote the patriarchy the most.

again "many people" believe that the Royal Family are actually blue lizards in disguise.

i would think that was an arrangement that worked for them.
my parents did this: my dm worked full time and my Ddad had an income/hobby thing which was mainly a hobby. During their marriage they both worked full time, one worked full time and one part time and one worked full time and the other was a sahp.

I have a disabled child, a real chronic illness, a high earning husband and I work full time! My sister has a high earning professional job and an addict husband who doesn’t work, he ‘volunteers’ and he takes the piss out of her. Everyone is just going to live the way they choose to. And I’m grateful we live in a society where we have thise choices. Lots of my husband’s colleagues are on the second or third wife because they got sick of being the breadwinner while their wives did very little and the nanny, boarding school and cleaner/housekeeper picked up the slack. The second or third wife is almost always childless and a high earner herself.

Judge away - if the two parties with this arrangement are happy with how it works, it matters not a jot what anyone else thinks.

I don’t work at all. I don’t want to work, my husband doesn’t want me to work, we’re both happier with me not working and we don’t need the money.

But since you wouldn’t feel good about yourself if you didn’t work, I guess I’d better make our lives less happy and get myself a job (and take a job away from someone who needs it in the process).

What your parent's did was very fair and reasonable. Sounds like they got along well.

I was one of those unicorn people and we have seen a couple of other unicorns posting on here. All of us have chosen to live our unicorn lives because it suited our happy relationships. I don't think any of us unicorns have said we had no reliable income so maybe we are semi unicorns?

Thank you. They were good role models. My dad was brought up by his widowed mum so despite being born in the 1930s he had a quite modern view of roles in a marriage.

I actually think if the tables were turned the man would be praised for being so enlightened to stay home with children and/or support his female partner's career.

I don't work at all. If my husband becomes ill or dies, his work will pay me a lot of money. And he has life insurance. I do a huge amount of unpaid work in our home which he doesn't have to do/pay for.

As PP said, if they’re not claiming benefits, I’m not bothered. If the family unit/marriage is self funding, it’s up to them. People living off the state when they could work more is wrong.

I agree -if there were children to look after. If they didn't have children or if the children had grown, do you still think people would be praising him?

Why take up a job for someone who needs it if you don’t want or need to?

I didn’t work for 10 years because I didn’t need to and it suited our family.

circumstances changed, I’m back at work. But I have zero regrets.

and why would he, or his partner, care what people thought?

I do love a good swan!

I work part time. If DH leaves me I’ll get a full time role.