To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

The only way to achieve that is a full separation of assets while they're still married. Which is very rare in that situation.

And even if that was to happen, the resources or means to create wealth stability is still very heavily geared to the partner who has been economically active (who would come away with demonstrated job history, NI contributions etc)

so I have no self respect because I didn’t have a paid role?

indeed.
i resent the assumption that people who to manage their marriage/partnership/family in this way are all a bit dim and have not thought through the consequences. When is become apparent that this has been considered all you have left to argue is that we have no self respect!

There's many many women who are left high and dry when their partner ups and leaves.
Thinking its never going to happen to you is delusional.
Each to their own but I can say there's no way I would ever be totally reliant on anybody.
And yes- I am married.

Wow

Exactly. My dh was perfectly capable of doing everything at home, but why make life more difficult that it needs to be. It also meant he could spend his free time with dcs rather than packing for an overseas trip.

IKR?

as all the savings were in my name, if dh had left me then I would not have been financially vulnerable. I am not financially vulnerable now either and neither is he. You don’t seem to grasp that these factors were considered when we jointly decided who would work and who would not.

Why wow?
Lots of partners take this role....it happens at the top levels in private industry, in public service, diplomatic service....even vicars with large challenging parishes! Some jobs just come with the expectation that the salary covers the spouse too. It's not right, but it is a fact.

Yes, it’s clear that some posters have no experience of how relationships might work when one spouse has a senior role. I was also expected to entertain and attend company events. If I had worked we would have needed paid help at home.

100% agree.

it seems like people can't accept as reality anything but their own circumstances.

Better for them not to work and leave the jobs for people that really need them, no?

I don't equate earning money with self respect. I can respect myself and other people without either me or them being in paid employment. Self respect and respect for others comes from decency, humanity, kindness etc in my eyes. It doesn't come from working or from how much someone earns. I don't have higher respect for £100k earners than for people solely on benefits, to take two extremes. I judge people based on who they are - not whether they work, what they do for a living or how much they earn.

Perhaps that's where the main division lies (outside of those who are purely jealous)? Perhaps it comes down to whether people are status focused or personality focused, with the man given high status for being a high earner and able to afford to support a non-working spouse, whilst the woman he supports is seen as a low status worthless scavenger simply because she doesn't have a paid job. It's not an attitude I could ever agree with TBH.

What happens to them?
They fall back on benefits and maybe get a part-time job in a supermarket.
They downsize.
That's what it is.
"Career" is overrated unless you earn near 6 figures.

I'm focused on being able to support myself if the worse was to happen,. and not be all over Mumsnet crying that I now cannot afford my lifestyle. Or indeed a roof over my head, and turning to benefits.
I have no respect for women who expect to be kept... its nothing to do with status. I much prefer having my own money and spending it as I see fit.

Ah yes. Benefits.
The magic money tree.
Make shite decisions and the taxpayer will come to the rescue.

Glad it worked out for you- honestly.
But lots of women on here don't have a pot to piss in and get totally screwed over when their husband/partner ends the relationship and leaves them high and dry.
I don't think they do consider the implications fully to be honest.,

I work three days a week, in a lower paid job than I'm capable of/qualified for. My husband is the breadwinner and works full time in a high-earning role which doesn't have a part time option, but is very strictly 9-5 with no travel or work brought home. We're both happy with the arrangement, I enjoy my work/life balance and he enjoys the days when I'm at home and there's less in the way of domestic stuff waiting to be done when he gets home. Everyone's a winner, except the OP who apparently couldn't bear to be in my position.

you are confusing "what if" with "how" How doesn't actually matter in the context of this discussion.

But that is not relevant to whether or not they are 'entitled" to do it. Yes some people make better (or luckier) marital and financial choices than others and some get thoroughly done over by others, some people choose lovely partners and live lives that don't allow for them to not work or to support their partner to not work. None of that is about entitlement.

the women, including myself, who have posted on here do not expect to be kept and never did.

People in need of work are already struggling to find it.
So from that perspective they are actually doing others a favour.

what is there to wow about?

OP doesn’t seem to deserve the consideration you are granting her. She has been quite clear in stating that’s it entitled behaviour even when agreed between the couple.