To find this entitled?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

This doesn't apply to people with childcare or caring responsibilities, any sort of illness or disability which means they cannot work full time.
But I've seen a few people on here or social media basically saying 'I can do supply/care work/0 hours work and sometimes only get a shift or two a week, because my husband earns well.'

So they're pretty much choosing to swan about and avoid full-time work, because they assume their husband or partner will carry on in their high-earning, full time role.

What happens if this husband loses their job, becomes sick, or just decides they're sick of having to be the breadwinner?

I see it all the time on supply teacher pages,'Oh I've only had 1 day of work in 2 months but it's fine because my husband is the breadwinner!!'

There are other jobs where you could make a living, you just don't want to do them, yet you still want your dream forever house and luxury lifestyle. If it were the wife full-time and the husband taking the piss there would be uproar.

You seem to think these decisions are taken in isolation. Dh has no power over me and I have no power over him. If he dies, I get everything and vice versa. If we divorce it will be a 50/50 split. I will receive a full state pension and have a private pension that we set up when I wasn’t working. It a partnership of equals and neither of us has power over the other.

Not exaggerating, just live in the real world.

Stay on MN for a few years and you’ll start seeing how important it is for women to have their own careers and income.

Hopefully people aren’t encouraging their kids to not have a career either.

This is exactly why tell people I’m doing bits of freelance work from home when in reality I’m a SAHM who swans about and lives off my husband.

I can’t stand people who look down their nose at me because I don’t work like I’m some kind of brain dead bimbo. It’s almost like a race to the bottom - unless you’re full time, stressed to fuck, juggling kids clubs, tearing your hair out, going for promotion, screeching in to the car park on parents evening it’s like you’re half a woman.

For me the women that do a bit of supply work, or do two days here and there or have got to the top of their game and can pick and choose when they work.

Does it have to be a career or are people allowed to have a job ?
I had a job. It paid me a wage. I went to work, did what needed to be done and and at the end of the day went home and that was that.
It certainly wasn't a career.

The difference is that most men do not do as much of the domestic slog as women do.
The majority of men when they have time off work, are not dusting, hoovering, washing, ironing, putting laundry away, tidying up, washing up, drying up, cleaning the bathroom, washing floors. Sorting through wardrobes and getting rid of insured item, or a million other things.

So no, it’s not the same.

I’m not saying that I agree with it, I don’t. I work full time and earn my own money.

Ime a list can be useful In this scenario.

Yes of course, work is work.

Most jobs are careers or can lead to careers.

It’s just about being independent and being able to stand on your own two feet isn’t it.

but to feel physically ill???

I don’t do much of that to be fair. I probably do a couple of hours housework a week and I’m at home all day. Life’s too short.

But it doesn’t need to be comparable, and also who are we to decide what is comparable. Some people will work for minimum wage because that’s what is acceptable to them, others won’t get out of bed for less than 100k per annum. It is all about how we value our and our partner’s time.

if one can support the other, and is happy to, why would someone go and work a potentially lower paid job for no real benefit to the family. Imagine someone earning 200k a year, do you think he or she expects their partner to go to work in a 25k a year job, of course not. It doesn’t make financial sense

Maybe I didn't want to be independent.
I wouldn't have got married if I wanted to be independent.
I wanted a shared life.

I know what you mean OP. I believe some men don't like their wives to work and women who are happy to do childcare and housework. Personally I'd rather work!

There must be cases where it causes friction but that's not my problem or o
yours.

Why not? Where's the shame is a 25k job? I see shame in laziness.

I also see dick swinging neanderthals who like the 'prestige of having a kept woman beneath them.

Me too.
I could never be comfortable with being dependent on a man for my standard of living.
I guess some women like being kept

I find the language around going to work on Mn so funny, especially when it's about poor little men being taken advantage of. Slogging it out at work all day. Oh please. But when it's women working its a different language, career and independence and using your brain and being the top of your field. Btw my husband earns 150k and WFH so I see what he does and don't feel bad about my part time local gov job 😂

They would be called a cocklodger on here

Feel as if I could have wrote this!
And person I know exactly like this says they dont have time to do anything like go for groceries. I honestly cringe.

Why wouldn’t they? Who would stop them?

Because if both people in the relationship are happy, then it is ok for one to be a house wife or house husband.

There is nothing wrong with a minimum wage job, but the knowledge that your partner is not having to work themselves and can instead relax and enjoy life more, whilst taking care of the household is ok. If you have the money to do this and you want to then you should

Not necessarily. If a guy is doing all the house stuff, whilst the woman is working, that’s a fair deal, isn’t it?

Whenever I’ve seen that hideous phrase used it’s because a guy is doing absolutely nothing.

And the attitudes of the men who want a little housewifey and be the big provider?

Point taken but important to remember that some people do all the household responsibilities /admin etc and work full time too.
I presume your husband has the majority of the financial responsibility?

Agree. Dh and a very demanding job and I think it made his life a little easier knowing there was nothing he had to worry about at home or with the DCs. I handled everything from shopping, bills, holiday planning, parents’ evening, laundry, helping with homework, birthday parties…etc
It also meant that he could relax at the weekend.

You can’t be independent in a marriage?

What do you teach your kids?
Do you tell them not to bother having a career and to just get married instead?

There was a thread just the other day about someone having a sugar daddy.