Do you have a best friend?

[frankiedays]

do you have a proper best friend as an adult? Or a proper group of best friends?
I hear people talk about their best friends all the time and I’m so jealous I don’t have that one person to properly connect with as a friend.

Nope. Ok with that. I have siblings and friends but no best friend.

Yes. My sister. I don’t bother with people outside the family anymore. Had my fingers burnt too often over the years. Never been happier.

I have a solid group. I would consider them all best friends

My best friend and I have known each other since we started school at 5, we are now 53. We lost touch for 20 years but got back in touch when we both got dogs when we were in our late 30's. We talk every week and see each other whenever we can.

Unlike me she is very sociable and has lots of friends and has a busy social life but does tell me she sees me as her best friend which is lovely. I have a few other friends, they are all from my childhood years, I'm ND and have not been great at making friends in adulthood, I have this out of sight, out of mind thing going on and don't really feel I need friends if I'm honest as I struggle to keep up the pace with some people.

I also have a sister and I am close to her and my DH is also my best friend l, we've been together for almost 40 years. And I'm close to my son and daughter. I was also very close to my mum but she now has advanced Alzheimer's and doesn't know who I am which breaks my heart.

Yes, I've known her since we were 4! We are now pushing 40. We don't see each other loads (distance and life ) but when we do its like coming home. Theres nothing like those shared memories and a life lived together. Our lives are entwined with each other's. I cannot imagine not knowing her.

Yes. I have known her since I was 3, and barring anything untimely happening to either of us, she is and will always be my longest lasting relationship and the only person who will have been beside me my whole life.
Our lifestyles are very different and we each have interests the other doesn't share. But she is the only person who knows me completely.

I have a best friend, and a group of 4 best friends, that actual best friend is also part of iyswim.

No best friend no. Had a bad fallout a few years ago of a 20+ years friend. It was a lesson nobody really knows anyone! I have a few nice friends now but Im def cautious)

Yes, we met when our youngest started primary school together 21 years ago and we have been the best of friends ever since. They are like sisters to me.
My DH husband has known his best friends since he was 5 from primary school, and he is 60 now. They talk everyday and i think for men its great that they have someone they can talk to.
I know I couldn't do life without my friends.

I had a friend who used to tell me she was her best friend, but she never really invited me to her home once our kids grew apart, and I felt she used me as someone to go out for a bottle of wine with more than anything else. Once her husband said she needed cheering up and would I go out with her for a night out. So yeah, I would consider à best friend is someone who I hang out with in various ways other than just in one vein. I eventually realised her husband fancied me and she was keeping us apart. So I faded out of that scenario. To me, her idea of a best friend was unsatisfying.

I didn’t have from leaving uni for about 20 years - then a new colleague arrived and we just clicked so for the last ten years yes. I know I’m fussy - I don’t waste time hanging out with people I don’t click with so don’t have a close circle of friends - a couple of close friends plus family.

Earlier this year I did have yes.

But unfortunately we fell out over her misunderstanding a message and she called me the most awful things 😕 I just couldn't forgive her. It really hurt me coming from her.

She tried to put it right but I just couldn't get past it. I felt really used and abused and tbh, it was the last straw for me.

I met my best friend in junior school, and remained best friends for 60 years until she died in 2024. The last time I saw her I knew I would never see her again, and I told her Ioved her, and would always miss her, and I do.
We were part of a group of 6 girls, that met when we started at comp and we still meet up once a month. That empty chair hits hard though.

My very best friend is someone I met within a few days of starting university which is now well over 40 years ago. We did the same course and I think she could see I was at a bit of low ebb (I had ended up going somewhere I hadn’t considered at all to do a subject that
wasn’t my first choice through clearing) so she took me under her wing. She married her husband a few years after graduation and he is now also one
of my best friends. They have been so
kind, supportive and understanding - having me to stay, taking me to meals etc and even doing round trips of about 300 miles in a day to come and see me when have been unable to travel for medical reasons.
My other great friend is someone I met through a hobby which we are both passionate about. He now lives some distance away but we meet a few times a year and usually have a chat on the phone once a week.

Yes, I have two. One I’ve known since primary school and we’ve been friends for 34 years. The other I met at work and we’ve been friends for 19 years.
I have three other friends who I see every couple of months, that I met through work.

I did have a bigger friendship circle in my 20’s and 30’s, but realised the friendships were very one-sided, so we’re no longer in contact.

No I've never had a best friend as an adult. I don't particularly want one tbh. I don't know when I'd find time to socialise with them, my life is about family, work, and sports. ....{ }.... My emotional bonds are with DH and my family, I see myself as part of a single unit with them.

These posts, taken from early on in the thread, just as examples, and there have been some others later, make me wonder about people who make a conscious decision not to develop friendships with people throughout their lives.
Like many, I have deep, strong, emotional bonds with my dh and my dc and my extended family, but I can't imagine ever deciding that was 'enough', or, as per the quoted poster, that one friend was 'enough'.

All of our lives are unpredictable - even on this thread there have been several examples of people who have had a 'best friend' who is either no longer with us or who they are no longer friends with. I can't understand anyone making a conscious decision to not surround themselves with additional good people who love and support them as the opportunities arise.

Two best friends from school but I see them couple times a year they are more legacy friends really

I’m 47 , have a bestie who at the moment I see a few times a week , usually at gym class as we joined together last year & we chat almost daily over text.

She is my ride or die , I could call her at 2am and she’d be on her way no questions asked, as would I.
We started secondary school together & whilst I’m sure we irratitate each other with our habits we’ve never had an argument or fallen out x

I’ve not consciously decided that. I’ve had a tough time with my physical and mental health. It’s taken a toll on me. I’m also NC and estranged from my family so life is a daily battle.

I would love my best friend to be part of my life like before. I would also love new friends. I just seem to be a loner and have nothing in common with others.